Talk:Guadalupe-Nipomo Dunes
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[edit] New to Wikipedia
If anyone could help us with this page that would be great!! We are writing this for our English class and at the same time trying to understand how Wikipedia works. We are excited to write about a topic that hasn't been addressed in Wikipedia, but do not know all the rules of Wikipedia yet. If you could help format this page and/or with referencing that would be greatly appreciated. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Engl145 (talk • contribs) 00:10, 14 May 2007 (UTC).
[edit] instructor comment
Excellent lead. Comprehensive description and overview. Exemplary documentation style. It would aid consistency and accessibility of information to add links to all the agencies listed at end of lead.
Attractions: "Each year the park attracts 2 million visitors a year."
This section is well organized by geographic progression north to south. The items use a variety of sources for information that is presented concisely, clearly, with full documentation that shows no problems with paraphrase and quotation.
History: Interesting material, well organized and well written. Need citation for Ten Commandments paragraph.
Geography and Environment: Again, excellent material, good range of sources, good choice of what to include and leave out, nicely polished writing. Links to sources for notes 28 and 29 need to be reformatted to make them live--I think "http://" is missing.
Off-Road Vehicle Controversy: Excellent summary, boiling down the issue to easily understood positions.
Who is involved--this paragraph isnt directed toward the larger topic and its tone departs from NPOV
"Their concern" is fine, except check links and phrase "considerably small"
"Actions taken" admirably clarifies the legal niceties.
In Favor, who is involved...should California State Parks be included with OHV advocacy organizations? They tend to function that way, but this needs clarification.
"It has become a family ritual to many...will loose access to" proofread
"for their rightful presence" NPOV
"Oceano State Department" Isnt it California State?
"to address two issues having to do with the sale of the land.[55] To sell the property, four-fifths ..." What two issues?
Once the minor concerns listed here are resolved this becomes an excellent finished product. The extensive research, thorough documentation, clear writing, perceptive analysis, and disciplined neutral point of view make it a valuable contribution to human knowledge. I expect that you'll see it frequently referenced. Congratulations!
A
Rudolph2007 19:41, 16 May 2007 (UTC)
