User:Goldom/nonsense/dw

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[edit] Reference Desk/Help Desk wackiness

[edit] from "send me about this" in WP:HD

please send me all history of this. And how to iuse it . and how to make i an user id for any web sit . please send me quickly. and also send me the working of this and how to use i this web for my personal purposes.........

[edit] from "Insect question" in WP:RD/S

I'm reluctant to post this, since the original author has done nothing but spam the reference desk with nonsense to try to get into BJAODN, but this one just turned out too good to pass up.

Many insects like moths are attracted to light. This could present a major problem if moths develop to the point that they drive automobiles, as two moths driving in opposing directions would be drawn towards each other's headlights resulting in a head-on collision. What steps have been made to prevent this potential tragity? Mayor Westfall 04:16, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

Members of arthropoda were actually a highly-evolved, starfaring civilization that was unfortunately wiped out by a doomsday device they created when a hapless mechanic got too enamored by the blinking lights on it and pressed the start button. Unfortunately, the stop button was not illuminated. -- Миборовский 04:23, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
There is no problem. The moths will be attracted to the light, but the cars won't be, so the moths will leap out the window to their deaths, and the cars will float harmlessly into the ultra-rubber road barriers.  freshofftheufoΓΛĿЌ  05:47, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
Did you read our article on moth? They would only circle each other.--Shantavira 07:37, 12 June 2006 (UTC)
Wouldn't they crash into each other while trying to circle one another--that is if they are going in opposite directions, they're paths would curve into one another. Or would they...Now I have a math question that is bugging me because of this stupid question.
You may be confusing moths with black holes.  freshofftheufoΓΛĿЌ  04:50, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

Say you have two moths flying toward each other carrying a light source. They are attracted to light 10 meters away, and their paralell paths are seperated by 5 m, would they crash into each other? I suspect this would depend on their initial velocities....Sounds like this would make a good text book calculus question. Anyone have an answer? XM 12:21, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

Have you ever seen a moth fly? That's not calculus, that's turbulence. Black Carrot 21:40, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

[edit] from "I have proof that the FDA is tapping my phone calls?" in WP:RD/H

Is this considered legal?—Yipe 15:42, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

Yes. General Eisenhower • (at war or at peace) 16:15, 14 June 2006 (UTC)
Are you sure it's the Federal Drug Administration that's doing it? Phone tapping is generally done by the FBI, CIA, NSA, and other law enforcement and intelligence agencies. Emmett5 16:46, 14 June 2006 (UTC)
The FDA is the Food and Drug Administration. Maybe he or she is attempting to traffic in flour that hasn't been properly entoleted. --LarryMac 16:52, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

[edit] from "The FDA has been tapping my phone calls" in WP:RD/S

what if any scientific counter measures can you think of to keep them from monitoring my phone calls? —Yipe 15:35, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

Disconnect your phone line. Electrons are incapable of bridging a several-foot gap with that little voltage. Black Carrot 16:55, 14 June 2006 (UTC)
By "scientific", do you mean "encryption"? Encryption only works if you encrypt/decrypt at both ends. Even if you use VOIP, both ends have to be on the Internet. You can't drop to a regular, unencrypted phone line anywhere. The easiest option: use someone else's phone (like a pay phone at a restaurant). Of course, the people you are talking to are also probably tapped. --Kainaw (talk) 17:05, 14 June 2006 (UTC)
The FDA doesn't have the power to tap phone. Perhaps you are thinking of the FBI? Besides which, how would you know? But the only real answer is not to use the phone and arrange some other method of communication. Or I suppose you could arrange to talk in code: "The rooster lands at midnight, next to the pumpkin".  ;-) Dragons flight 17:15, 14 June 2006 (UTC)
The FDA would be very interested in knowing exactly what Yipe plans on doing with the rooster and the pumpkin. Very interested... I'd recommend talking about US submarine movements instead, which the FDA couldn't care less about. — Asbestos | Talk (RFC) 17:38, 14 June 2006 (UTC)

This user seems to have no edits other than marking a ton of accounts as being sockpuppets, and this:

  1. 08:52, June 14, 2006 (hist) (diff) User:NSA powered vandalbot (very funny, ha ha) (top)
  2. 08:51, June 14, 2006 (hist) (diff) User talk:Pgk (rv vandalism by FDA powered vandalbot)
  3. 08:50, June 14, 2006 (hist) (diff) User talk:152.163.100.131 (→Your edit to Crab Nebula your vandalism by FDA powered vandalbot) (top)
  4. 08:48, June 14, 2006 (hist) (diff) User:El Pgk (you're working for the FDA aren't you?) (top)
  5. 08:48, June 14, 2006 (hist) (diff) User talk:El Pgk (please stop tapping my phone calls!)
  6. 08:47, June 14, 2006 (hist) (diff) User talk:Pgk (rv vandalism by NSA powered vandalbot)

[edit] from "Transcripts for student in approximately 1986" in WP:RD/M

I would like to access my transcripts from approximately 1986 when I attended your university. My name is Masteneh Jafari. My address at that time was Colbeh Sadi, Shiraz Plastic, Mood Avenue,First Eight Meter Road, fourth house. I was enrolled in the midwife program. I attended for two and one half years. If you could please send me this information I would be greatly appreciative. I would like to continue my education in the USA and need this to verify what courses I have taken. Please send it to me in care of Address removed

We're an encyclopedia, not a university. You'll need to direct your question to the relevant university's registrar. — Lomn | Talk 14:02, 20 June 2006 (UTC)
I'll have to check our records, but I don't think we even have your transcripts. Because this is an encyclopedia. --Optichan 16:10, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

what a weird question. since when do we have a midwife program?

wait, since at least 1986, apparently :) 82.131.190.200 18:17, 20 June 2006 (UTC).

[edit] from "A Film Based Wikipedia" in WP:RD/H

How about we make a movie based on Wikipedia, specifically on the ref desk. It has a huge cast of characters played by some of the most fascinating actors you'd find anywhere; a crazy plot that's full of twists and turns and is guaranteed to keep you on the edge of your seat; and the director is constantly being replaced, which will have you wondering "what on earth will be coming next". Just when you think it's starting to take itself too seriously, it launches into something really humorous, and the journey continues. It has drama, pathos, and is full of surprises. On the other side of the ledger, it doesn't have much romance - well, none actually - and there's a noticeable absence of a decent music score. But all in all, it's thoroughly good value. 5 stars. JackofOz 12:24, 21 June 2006 (UTC)