User:Fyslee/Unidentified Flying Reindeer

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Note: This is a private (humorous & research) essay. Comments are welcome.

Reindeer

Unidentified Flying Reindeer (UFR) (a type of UFO), is a term used in connection with the purported sightings of the flying reindeer which pull the sleigh of Santa Claus, usually reported around Christmas time. Since about 1940 the reports have often claimed to clearly identify the legendary Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and even reported hearing harness bells and hoof sounds on rooftops.^[1] Confirmation of these reports is rendered next to impossible because of the unintelligible babblings of the drunken reportees. The matter is complicated even further by the fact that Rudolph is dead, a matter kept secret from children.

1 Rudolph's demise
2 Hunting trip details
3 Gallery
4 See also: List of flora and fauna
5 References
6 External links
7 Jobs
8 Categories

[edit] Rudolph's demise

Rudolph doesn't exist anymore, since I (Fyslee) shot him in August of 1990 on a reindeer hunting expedition in Godthåb fjord, Greenland. I shot four deer (including Rudolph) in one day that time. Reindeer is the finest tasting lean red meat one can imagine. We ate part of him for Christmas dinner. (If that doesn't make your kids cry, then something's wrong with them.)

By reindeer standards, he was very old (about 51 years old at the time, much older than the normal 12-15 year life expectancy of normal reindeer in Greenland), but he was a magical reindeer. Although Santa's Reindeer are reported to have an infinite lifespan^[1] under normal conditions, Rudolph's life came to an abrupt end, therefore any sightings of Rudolph since then are sightings of imposters, and can be classed with other UFR and UFO sightings.

I suspect he had many off-spring, since one can sometimes catch glimpses of reddish lights at night, especially when one's night vision has been affected by the liberal imbibement of alcoholic beverages. It can be improved even more when enjoying snaps flavored with bilberries (related to blueberries). Some Inuit flavor it with the contents (leaves, seeds, flowers, berries) of a special food "pouch" (rypekro) found under the tongue of the arctic ptarmigan.^[2]^[3] When dried the pouch makes a fine little baby rattle.

A panoramic photo of Nuuk taken in October 2006. (See enlarged image)

[edit] Hunting trip details

Rudolph was the third deer to fall that day, shot with a Sako "Hunter" model .30-06 caliber rifle. He had been wandering with another reindeer, which was shot about 30 minutes before Rudolph met his fate. Rudolph nearly got away, but apparently decided to stop to graze and was spotted nearly 130 yards away and was hit with the first shot. He then ran about 30 yards, disappearing around a hillside bend. I thought I had missed him and that he had escaped, but I found him in the grass and bushes where he had fallen.^[4] He was too large to carry, as I had already shot two other deer that day, and I had to come back for him the next day. About 30 minutes later I shot my fourth deer that day, so I had alot of work the next day! I covered the last two deer with space blankets so I could find them again, and to keep ravens and foxes away.

To make matters worse, the next day was our time to break camp and end our hunt. While the others broke camp and sailed our equipment and animals across a lake, I climbed back up into the hills to get Rudolph and then had to carry him several miles to our rendeavouz point, which was where our boat was anchored up. Much to my horror, when I arrived there before the others, the boat was gone! That could have been disastrous if it had been bad weather. (In Greenland, it can occasionally snow in August.) The boat anchors (we used two of them, the current was so strong) had been pulled up and the boat had driven downstream and ended up in a large area of mudbanks composed of glacial silt, where it was in danger of capsizing. Fortunately it was saved and we made it home alright after a very successful hunting trip.

The trip was remarkable in many ways, and the Northern lights were especially spectacular. We were three men and one woman, and used two conjoined tents. We were in an area called Ilulialik,^[5] which is a continuation of the northernmost end of Godthåb's fjord north of Bird Mountain (Fuglefjeldet).^[6] It is easily visible (including the mudbanks) using Google Earth.

The trip included sailing in a slow diesel fishing boat for ten hours, use of an inflatable rubber boat and a foldable canoe, hiking, backpacking, lots of high calorie camping food, good backpacks, warm sleeping bags, and fortunately great weather. Our weapon calibers were .30-06 Springfield, .243 Winchester, and 6.5x55 Swedish. My next rifle will be a .243. While my .30-06 performed excellently, it has alot of recoil, while the .243 is much easier on the shoulder.

[edit] Gallery

Reindeer = Rensdyr	Barren-ground Caribou (The type of reindeer in western Greenland.	Muskox = Moskusokse	Polar bear = Isbjørn
Arctic fox = Arktisk ræve	Arctic hare = Arktisk hare	Lemming = Lemming	Ptarmigan = Rype
Eider ducks (Adult male left, female right) = Ederfugl	Little Auk = Søkonge	Snow Bunting = Snespurv	Snowy Owl = Sneugle
White-tailed Sea Eagle = Havørn	Peregrine Falcon = Vandrefalk	Gyr Falcon = Jagtfalk	Raven = Ravn
Great Cormorant = Skarv	Atlantic cod = Torsk	Atlantic salmon = Skællaks	Trout = Ørred
Halibut = Helleflynder	Greenland halibut = Hellefisk	Rose fish = Rødfisk	Seawolf = Havkat
Sculpin = Ulk	Bilberry = Mosebølle	Crowberry = Sortebær/Revling	Mountain cranberry = Arktisk tyttebær
Alpine Bearberry = Bjerg-Melbærris	Garden Angelica = Kvan	Juniper berry = Enebær	Dandelion = Mælkebøtte
Common Cottongrass = Kæruld	Sermitsiaq = Saddle Mountain	View from Ravnefjeldet = Raven Mountain	Flag of Greenland = Grønland
Map of Greenland = Grønland	Map of Greenland = Grønland	Aurora Borealis or Northern Lights = Nordlys	Modern hunting rifle
Bolt action	Eight .30-06 cartridges.	Hollow point bullet	Backpack = Rygsæk
Santa Claus = Julemand	Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer