User:Fundamentaldan/idol
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[edit] So You Were On (Insert Name Here) Idol...
This page contains material which is kept because it is considered humorous. It is not intended, nor should it be used, for any remotely serious purpose. |
Congratulations! It must have been hard to get that far. You were probably subjected to rigorous review processes and then you had your time under the hot television lights. Perhaps you even heard praise from Simon Cowell -or the equivalent obnoxious version of him on (Insert Name Here) Idol. It must be an experience you will treasure and that your family and friends will talk about for at least minutes.
However, even though this experience was exhilarating, that does not mean you are ready for inclusion as the subject of a Wikipedia article. Remember that articles must be verifiable and well-sourced. Also the conflict of interest policy prohibits you from making the article yourself. Though you are surely a talented singer and deserving of success more than any one of the hundreds of others that were on the show, there are some things you need to do before getting your own article. This essay is here to help you know how to get into that elite, listed group.
[edit] Make (Good) Friends With a Judge
One way that has been successful on getting the notability necessary for inclusion is to become good friends with a judge. You need to be good enough friends to get investigated by a news organization, such as Dateline NBC. Perhaps you might ask the judge for tips on how to improve your performance or if you can have a sleepover at their house. A little hint of scandal can go a long way toward getting you to your goal, whether or not you are crowned on the show.
One important thing to note about this is that any type of controversy can help you keep from having to do original research. Big news organizations will do it for you and save you the trouble of having to research your own life.
[edit] Sell a Million CDs
You know that your music is great. Your sound and vocal performance are probably the most unique sound to ever hit Nashville/Detroit/Los Angeles/Sydney/London/etc. Your mother and father remember fondly the garage studio where you and your band put in hours of practice. Your friends all think it is cool that you got on television. Now is the time to turn that good will into the kind of currency that will get you celebrity status. Combine your parents, friends, and old teachers together in this quest to sell a million cds. Now that you have sold twenty copies, you only have 999,981 to go. So, try busking or maybe even signing a record deal. Perhaps you will get discovered by some big label and be on your way to stardom.
All of these things will help you gain a group of fans who will then come to Wikipedia and write an article about you. Just remember that the people who hate your music will find their way here as well. To be fair to both of them, we will force them to write the article in a neutral tone and to make sure things written are verifiable.
[edit] Sing Really, Really Badly
This may be a hard one for you, especially since you are extremely talented. However, people like to see other people fail. This dark side of the human nature can help you get on to Wikipedia. Some singers have been known to make a career of singing badly without even needing to go on television in front of millions of viewers.
There are several things that can help you accomplish this. Some people are born with the ability to sing off-key. Others have to practice. If you have to practice, that time could be considered as a contributing factor to your success. It may help generate pity and sympathy from others, who will be willing to go to your concerts and write an article about you. Just make sure your singing is notably bad. That may take a lot of perseverance, but it may be worth it.
[edit] Have People Question Your Sexuality
This avenue has been known to work for achieving notoriety as well. Controversies cause news, and news generates interest. Interest in you is a good thing for getting into Wikipedia. Some people have found that the best way to do this is through coy or incomplete answers to inquisitive members of the media. Perhaps (if you are male) you could be seen enjoying the company of other men, or even volunteer to act in a Snickers commercial. Although Wikipedia strives to avoid recentism, this controversy could help propel you into the proud ownership of an article on Wikipedia. Just remember that Wikipedia is not a blog, so we will not allow people to use the article to voice their opinion of your sexuality or perceived sexuality.
[edit] You Are On Your Way
Hopefully you will acheive the type of long-lasting success that will make you the subject of a lengthy, well-written, and sourced article. Though you may not be happy with everything contained in it, it will then serve to inform the public about your life from a neutral point of view. While working on these things, please do not be tempted to write an autobiography or set up sock puppets that will champion your cause. One-issue users are often banned, and that does not look good for a megastar like yourself.