User:Fredbug
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Fredbug is the alias for a notorious turnip rustler, the vegetable equivalent to the cow stealers of the Wild Western old. There is a large underground organization formed around the thieving and transporting of these unmarked turnips, as well as a large market for their flesh. First, the rustler stealthily sneaks into the turnip pen, usually after the sun has gone down, but sometime in broad daylight. Usually that only happens when there is a large event that draws the turnip ranchers away from their stock. The wrangler then selects unmarked turnips that display signs of ripeness and health: deep color, wide middles, and thick green tufts of leaves on top. The rustler grabs the turnips by the stem, and stuffs them into a burlap sack that he or she carries over their shoulders. Because of the sharp spike in poser turnip rustlers, the burlap business is booming as well. As is the guard dog market, because the ranchers often have had to resort to guard dogs, because many of their hired hands that had been left to guard the turnips turn rogue and help the rustlers.
As an attempt to be proactive, the police and government got together to create the Burlap Registry and Tracking Agency. All burlap bags that are to be bought after the January 1, 2006 are to have turnip sized license plates of sorts implanted in the bottom of the sacks. If the robber attempts to remove it, there will be a turnip sized hole at the bottom of the bag, and it will not be good for anything.
