Four candles

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The Four Candles sketch, originally titled The Hardware Shop or Annie Finkhouse ^[1] is a sketch from the BBC comedy Two Ronnies. Written by Ronnie Barker under the pseudonym of Gerald Wiley. It was first broadcast on Saturday, 4 September 1976 on BBC1. The gags hinge on wordplay, in this case homophones, which exhibit Barker's fascination with this subject that he cleverly exploited to powerful comic effect in much of his writing. It features a shopkeeper, played by Ronnie Corbett, in a hardware shop becoming increasingly frustrated by a customer, played by Barker, because he continuously misunderstands what he is requesting. It was voted the greatest ever Two Ronnies sketch by the British public.

A script for the sketch in Ronnie Barker's handwriting was discovered on Antiques Roadshow in 2006 and subsequently authenticated by Ronnie Corbett, who noted that while it was unusual for Barker to write in red ink, it was undoubtedly his handwriting. Corbett surmised that the script may have originally been donated to a charity fundraiser, as Barker, being uncomfortable with appearing in public 'as himself', would often donate an item to charity events rather than appearing in person. The script was sold at auction for £48,500 in December 2007. ^[2]

The sketch was inspired by some real life misunderstandings in a hardware shop in Hayes Middlesex, which were submitted by the shop owners as possible sketch material. ^[3]

1 Plot
2 Variation
3 Reception
4 References

[edit] Plot

In this sketch the hardware shopkeeper played by Ronnie Corbett is confronted by a Ronnie Barker customer clutching a shopping list. The customer appears to ask for four candles. The shopkeeper complies but customer merely repeats his request leaving shopkeeper confused. The customer rephrases his request to reveal he in fact wanted fork handles, "'andles, for forks".

He then asks for plugs. To try and avoid a similar mistake the shopkeeper asks what kind and is told "a rubber one, bathroom". Believing that he is asking for bath plugs the shopkeeper gets out a box of them and asks for the size. By asking for "thirteen amp" it is revealed he in fact wants an insulated electric plugs.

He next asks for saw tips. Confused the shopkeeper asks if he wants an ointment. After a better explanation the shopkeeper explains they do not have any. This causes little to no frustration.

He then asks for "oes". This item causes the most frustration with the shopkeeper bringing a hoe, a hose and pantyhose to the counter before working out what he wants are the letter O - "'oes as in 'Mon Repose'". The box of garden gate letters is noticeably difficult to get to and put back, requiring a ladder.

When he asks for "peas" the shopkeeper, believing him to be asking for the letter P for a garden gate, is understandably annoyed as they are in the box he has just put back. The customer waits for him to get the box down before better explaining what he wants - tins of peas. At this point the shopkeeper first suspects it may be a joke.

He then asks for "pumps" the shopkeeper asks him to elaborate. The customer complies by asking for "foot pumps". The shopkeeper brings a pneumatic pump to the counter. The customer then reveals he wants "brown pumps size nine". At this point the shopkeeper becomes convinced that the customer is playing a practical joke on him.

After he asks for washers the shopkeeper, out of desperation and annoyance recites a long list as to what this could mean. The customer then explains he wants tap washers.

At this point the shopkeeper, having had enough, snatches the list, reads it himself and seems to take offence at something there. He decides he cannot tolerate the customer any longer and calls his assistant from the back to complete the order. The audience later infers that the shopkeeper misread billhooks as bollocks.

[edit] Variation

Barker later re-wrote the ending of the sketch, citing the reason as dissatisfaction with the obscurity and coarseness of the bill-hooks reference. He revealed in the last episode of The Two Ronnies Sketchbook in 2005 that, instead of another male shop assistant coming out and replacing Corbett, a large lady would come out and say "Right then young man, what kind of knockers are you after?" The revelation got as big a laugh as the sketch itself.

This sketch is the most remembered and requested that the duo performed in their history. This popularity is arguably due to the audience being able to easily connect with the exasperation of the shopkeeper failing to correctly deduce what the simpleton means, whilst being able to appreciate the excellent wordplay in the script.