Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/S.H.E

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[edit] Comments from Alton

Don't do a bullet by bullet response, that gets really annoying. You don't have to apply everything, I just think these while I'm reading it.

  • I see inconsistencies in the Chinese parentheses: sometimes it's listed pinyin or Pinyin, sometimes just Chinese, and sometimes wiktionaried. I don't want to touch this because there might be a rhyme or reason for it. I think parentheses should be given at the first mention of the girls' Chinese names; I didn't even remember what Ella's name is.
  • "However, Jacky Wu, then host of "TV Citizen," forgot the order of contestants, so he called on Ren first." (2¶ under The Universal Talent and Beauty Girl Contest) - Is there a significance to this? Were her singing flaws due to this? ALTON .ıl 23:37, 17 September 2007 (UTC)
This is basically the introductory sentence implying "the contest started" Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Should 女朋友 in the infobox have the equivalent English? I'm not sure because this isn't a name that they are probably ever called in English. Here, you also use "pinyin" (with minuscule).
Replaced the infobox pinyin with a CJKV template, with literal meaning. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "Ren Jiaxuan eventually chose "Selina" simply because she would be able to dot the i" (under Origin of the Name) - that's funny, clarify that what, she enjoyed it or something.
It doesn't say if she enjoyed it or not, so I'm not going to fabricate something that's not in the article. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "last character of her name, "樺"" - I'm always wary about using non-latin script in the reading text, because if the reader does not know Chinese, he or she is stuck. Same thing with 女朋友 later. I'd reword this or.. not sure. It might be fine, this is a personal gripe.
  • "Because of their successful debut," (under Musical career) - sounds weird after you just said they sang off-key..?
Reworded to reflect the not-so-successfulness. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "2003 was a year plagued" - perhaps better as "The year 2003 was plagued"
Done. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • As I'm reading through, I'm getting inundated with the number of "over"s in the section (over 150,000 copies, over 20,000 fans). Might want to try an alternative word, or remove it altogether: I'm pretty sure it's obvious there weren't exactly 160,000 copies sold in all of Taiwan.
Added some variety with the phrase "more than" (appears 5 times) Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Some tracks in this section (Electric Shock, Don't Wanna Grow Up) don't have accompanying Chinese, is that because they were released as English titles? Also, the last sentence says they were nominated as Female Artist: so group and singles don't have separate categories?
Added Chinese. This was due mostly to laziness. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "display an oxalis, the symbol for the group. On some covers, the clover is" (Musical style) - I'm guessing the Oxalis is a clover, if so, put "oxalis (clover)" to make it explicit, because it looks like a typo next to "covers". Additionally, wouldn't this be a perfect place to exercise fair use and put a cover there for us to see this oxalis? You're not overdoing it with samples.
Done. Pandacomics 01:02, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Definitely cite something for the claims in the lyrics section (especially the "ai" note), unless those facts are.. something else. You explained this in your nom. Hm...
  • "ratings averaged over 3.5" (Television and film career) - out of what?
It just says 3.5 "according to Nielsen". Each unit rating is a number of viewers. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "The song not only debuted at #1 on the UFO" - should it be #1 or number one
  • "On her first attempt, Ella followed protocol and harmlessly jumped off the second floor of a building." - harmlessly jumped sounds strange, I think it's better saying "and landed safely."
  • Hah, I want to read more about how they accidentally aired it during Frog Prince, man, is that covered in 67?
67 basically says "WZBQW pwned RFTS" Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • This mention of Guess Guess Guess has Chinese, but the previous iteration does not.
  • It's amazing they have sponsored Coke and 7-11 and still don't have exposure here... what popularity you have in one place amounts to nothing in another country.. just a comment.
  • "The intimacy between Selina, Hebe and Ella reached a point where the media began questioning the group's sexual orientation" (under Image) - any result on this? They quickly rebutted any accusations...
The sexual orientation is just there to describe the extent of their intimacy. IMO, if I include a denial of accusations, it'd just ruin the flow of the image thing. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • "Chris Taylor of the Taiwan Review" (under Lack of originality) - is he an expat..? just wondering..
No idea, haha. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Did S.H.E respond directly to the netizen?
"However, S.H.E fans..." No, they did not. And since they did not, it'd be rather pointless to just write "they did not respond." Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)
  • When you use "Greater China" in these last two main sections, are you referring to the actual term Greater China? If so, I'd link them, or de-cap "Greater" if not.
Wikilinked. Should have picked up on that. Pandacomics 00:33, 18 September 2007 (UTC)

And again, as always, I could be and probably am wrong. Good luck on the nomination! ALTON .ıl 23:37, 17 September 2007 (UTC)