Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Zhang Heng

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[edit] Zhang Heng

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This article was granted GA status back in April of 2007, and has seen slow but monumental improvement since then. The article is stable, the images are sourced, the subject (the ancient Chinese scientist Zhang Heng) is thoroughly detailed and laid out in several sections, and as of now the article boasts 90 inline citations from 30 different reference sources.--Pericles of AthensTalk 06:39, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

  • Comments - Looks very good, but there's a few things: (permission to nitpick?)
  • "Zhang had extensive knowledge of mechanics and gears, applying this knowledge to several of his known inventions." - Knowledge twice in a row in the same sentence, can we avoid this?
  • "According to historian Joseph Needham, Zhang Heng was noted in his day for being able to "make three wheels rotate as if they were one".[1]" - Why exactly is this in the lead?
  • "When the official Dan Song proposed that the Chinese calendar should be reformed in 123 to adopt certain apocryphal teachings," - Slight signs of redundancy, but nothing major.
  • "Meanwhile, officials Liu Zhen and Liu Taotu, who were members..." - Is 'Meanwhile' the best word to use here? In a novel, it would be fine - but it just doesn't sound right in this particular case.
  • "However, Zhang was barred from this due to because of his controversial views on apocrypha as well and his view that Emperor Gengshi (r. 23–25)..." - 1) What is 'this'? Since you've started a new sentence, it's best to reinstate what was being said to avoid confusion. 2) I think my proposed wording change is beneficial to the readability.
  • "However, his intensive astronomical work was rewarded only with the rank and salary of 600 bushels, or shi, of grain (also commuted to cash); to place this number in context, in a hierarchy of twenty official ranks, the lowest-paid official earned the rank and salary of 100 bushels and the highest-paid official earned 10,000 bushels during the Han." - 1) Why is 'however' being used? I don't see a contradiction to the previous sentence. 2) This sentence is very long, can we break it up a bit to improve readability?
  • "However, Zhang's official status at court saw considerable improvement." - I'm not entirely sure 'however' should be used here, either.
  • Split your References section into References and Further reading sections, since not all of those books have been used for the footnotes.
  • I'm sure there's similar little things throughout the article, but I won't continue because the article is long and so my comments could also get very lengthly.
  • I don't think a prose polish would hurt, so I recommend a full copyedit by an editor new to the text. Please see both Peer review/volunteers and LOCE/Members for lists of people who can help. Do not hesitate to contact a few people on their Talk pages!

— Wackymacs (talk ~ edits) 10:08, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Hi Wackymacs. I have amended the article according to your suggestions, except for the further reading one, since I couldn't find the reference which you were talking about that was not already cited in the article. As for copyediting, I have contacted User:Scartol on this issue. Thanks for commenting!--Pericles of AthensTalk 18:38, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
Can you contact someone other than Scartol? As stated on their Talk page, they're busy at the moment! Thanks. — Wackymacs (talk ~ edits) 18:41, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
Oops! My mistake. I've contacted User:AndonicO instead.--Pericles of AthensTalk 19:26, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Comments Sources look good. Links checked out with the link checker tool. One thing, the graphical curly pull quotes are frowned on by the MOS, I believe. Double check, but I am pretty sure that's the case. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:49, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
I checked WP:MOS and I could not find anything in the section on quotations that said curly quotes were prohibited or frowned upon; I didn't use them necessarily for regular blockquotes, only for quoted lines of poetry.--Pericles of AthensTalk 18:38, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
It's at Wikipedia:MOS#Quotations under "Block quotations": "Block quotes are not enclosed in quotation marks (especially including decorative ones such as those provided by the {{cquote}} template, used only for pull quotes)." Geuiwogbil (Talk) 19:44, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
Ok then, I'll get rid of them. One question though, if they are not to be used, why do they exist in the first place?--Pericles of AthensTalk 19:48, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
Your guess is as good as mine, I don't have the foggiest idea. Ealdgyth - Talk 21:33, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
{{cquote}} is (according to its instructions) intended for pull quotes instead of block quotes. I haven't seen many pull quotes in articles (they are a staple of journalism). In-text block quotes are far more common in Wikipedia articles. BuddingJournalist 22:01, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Comment Could a caption be provided for the image in the infobox? BuddingJournalist 13:12, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
The picture is temporarily removed due to a bogus copyright issue, but this will soon be resolved by an administrator over at Commons, as the person who tagged the image (who doesn't even have an account) is almost certainly there for troublemaking, as the license is already fully described and the image, made by the PRC, was made in 1955 with a fifty-year copyright status.--Pericles of AthensTalk 18:38, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Comments
  • "instrument [73]" – missing a period
  • Use en dashes for page ranges in the references per WP:DASH
  • Consider adding {{persondata}} to the article
  • When you are doing conversions, "500 km (310 miles)" → "500 kilometers (310 mi)". Ensure the entire article uses this method, per MOS:CONVERSIONS
  • Use either American or British spelling, but not both. You have "behavior" and "behaviour", for instance. Recheck the entire article.

Gary King (talk) 16:31, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Hi Gary, I fixed the missing period, the en dashes in the reference section, the unit conversions, and that instance of British spelling of "behaviour". I am an American and the prime editor of this article (no British fellows contributing to it as far as I know), so I think that one case you found was a minor slip-up of mine. As for the person data, there is already an infobox for this in the lead; is there additional person data you would like to see in the article?--Pericles of AthensTalk 18:38, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
Also, some prose issues, like "in order to" → "to" Gary King (talk) 20:29, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
Thanks for bringing this up, I have fixed two instances where there was the phrase "in order to" into just "to".--Pericles of AthensTalk 21:15, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Comment Wow! Check out the article now, I've added a significant amount of new material and pictures just today, including a nifty marble carving of the Greek scientist Ptolemy. Why him, you ask? Well go read the article and find out! Lol. Cheers.--Pericles of AthensTalk 02:58, 10 June 2008 (UTC)