Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Yasser Arafat/archive1

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[edit] Yasser Arafat

Peer review

Various users and I have contributed greatly to the article since it was last reviewed months ago. We have fixed the largest problem which virtually eclipsed the article and that was referencing. I have added references to the majority of the info (some areas in the Political survival, controversy and marginalization still need some sourcing) whether it was newly added or present before the last peer review. I have used Wikipedia:citation templates to better organize them. I have also added a substantial amount of referenced text mostly from Arafat's biography by Said K. Aburish, From Defender to Dictator, however it does not apply to any information during or after 1998. US and Israeli Government sources and an overwhelming amount of news sources have also been used for sourcing. I also made some new sections or created sub-sections of previous text to ease the viewer's intake of information. Other improvements include category organization, adding more images, cleaning up, referencing and disambiguating the introduction and minor grammatical and spelling edits. Al Ameer son 20:58, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

• Comment – I don't have time to do a full read-through right now, but I'm a little worried by the lead and first section. Mostly sentence structure and grammatical problems, but – for instance – the first sentence of the "Education" subsection says: In 1947, Arafat enrolled in the University of King Fuad I, which was later renamed Cairo University after a coup orchestrated by the Free Officers Movement which was led by Gamal Abdel Nasser, overthrowing King Farouk I in 1952. Is this relevant? Are there other parts of the article which bring in historical context which don't directly relate to Mr. Arafat? It's a very comprehensive article, and kudos to the people who have worked so hard to polish it so much. But I wonder if it might need some thorough copyediting and proofreading before it's ready to be Featured. – Scartol · Talk 18:01, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

About the first sentence in the Education subsection, I had stated that after another user suggested including an explanation to why it was renamed. I can trim it to just In 1947, Arafat enrolled in the University of King Fuad I, which was later renamed Cairo University after a military coup in 1952. Other examples although scarce and this is the only other one I could find include, Sheikh Taissir Tamimi, the head of the Islamic court of the Palestinian territories, who held a vigil at his bedside described the scene as, "a very painful scene. If this should be trimmed also inform me --Al Ameer son 18:17, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Ah, the old "previous confused user requests clarification which leads next user to get confused" dilemma. Personally, I think since the point doesn't relate to Arafat in any way, it can be removed. But it's not a big deal to me. I'm going to start going over the article more thoroughly. More notes will appear here if I have any. – Scartol · Talk 21:20, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Thank you very much! I was also thinking about adding a section dealing with Arafat's name since it took some steps for Mohammed Abdel Raouf Arafat al-Qudwa al-Husseini to become Yasser Arafat.

What is your opinion on the matter and if you believe it should be added where is the best location in the article for it? --Al Ameer son 21:43, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

I think it's a good idea. Generally I like a chronological structure to biographical articles, so I'd include details about him changing his name in whatever part of the article deals with that period of time. You might also want to look at WP:MOSBIO and WP:MOSISLAM if you haven't yet done so.

Yasser_Arafat#Formation_of_Fatah

I think it's a good idea. Generally I like a chronological structure to biographical articles, so I'd include details about him changing his name in whatever part of the article deals with that period of time. You might also want to look at WP:MOSBIO and WP:MOSISLAM if you haven't yet done so.

His name changed during his childhood and adolescence so I guess we can make another subsection of the main Early Life section. --Al Ameer son 22:11, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Yasser_Arafat#Formation_of_Fatah – Fatah is also similar to the word Fatah, which was used in early Islamic times to refer to "conquest". In English, the two words are identical. Does the similarity claim refer to their similarity in Arabic? Can the Arabic words be included here? (Otherwise, let's just switch it say: "… is a word used in early Islamic times to mean "conquest"."

I prefer the it (or Fatah) is also word used in early Islamic times to mean "conquest".Al Ameer son 22:11, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Also in this section, the following sentence is confusing: At the same time, he did not want to alienate them and wanted their undivided support by not posing a threat by making alliances with individual ideologies. The many "by" phrases make it unclear – my best guess is: "He did not want to alienate them, and worked to get their undivided support by avoiding alliances with groups loyal to other ideologies." Is this accurate? – Scartol · Talk 21:54, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Your translation is less ambiguous so we should use that.Al Ameer son 22:11, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

I notice we're both online right now. Do you have access to WP:IRC? It may be easier for us to proceed if we chat in realtime. – Scartol · Talk 21:56, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

I do not have access to WP:IRC and I'm not really sure how to get it.Al Ameer son 22:11, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Do you know the year he met Abbas in Qatar? I'd like to see: "…where he first met Mahmoud Abbas in 19xx" – Scartol · Talk 22:03, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Yes he met him in 1961Al Ameer son 22:11, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Based on the number of things I've noticed so far, I wonder if maybe we shouldn't withdraw this nomination and proceed as a peer review? I expect other editors are going to oppose the FAC, and in the long run it will probably be less painful if we revise off this board. – Scartol · Talk 22:07, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

I think that is a good idea, after we take care of these little problems we can renominate it.Al Ameer son 22:11, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Excellent. I don't suppose you know how to do such a thing? (I'm pretty new to the FAC process.) – Scartol · Talk 22:29, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Okay, I've removed the template from the FAC page. Let's start another peer review. – Scartol · Talk 22:37, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Sure thing. There is an archived version of a peer review for the article already so I'm not exactly sure what to do about that. I assume we renominate it, correct. -Al Ameer son 22:49, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

P.S. I created the Name section already however I'm only done with about half of it. I have to scan through his biography to find more. -Al Ameer son 22:49, 15 September 2007 (UTC)