Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/The Lion King/archive3

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[edit] The Lion King

This article now has cited references, and explores many aspects of the topic in detail with many images. Personally I think it is well-written too. Chris1219 11:14, 22 August 2006 (UTC)

  • Comment: Looking very tidy, but I think there are a few things that need to be addressed before this is FA quality. None of them are too major though.
    • The main problem here is that entire sections lack references/inline citations. Even the sections that contain the odd citation still contain various statements that should be verifiable. Pulling one example at random: "The filmmakers, however, admitted that the story of The Lion King was inspired by the 1942 Disney animated film Bambi, Joseph the Dreamer and Exodus from the Bible, and William Shakespeare's Hamlet."
    • The number of fair-use images is excessive. I normally don't comment on images, but I think we're really pushing it here. Try and use only images that strictly help the reader to understand what is being discussed.
I trimed a few album covers and coverted that section to prose. Jaranda wat's sup 00:55, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
    • Trivia sections are frowned upon. Please merge any worthwhile material into appropriate sections.
    • The list of titles in different languages needs to go. I'm not even sure this is worthy of another list article.
    • Some sections contain only lists or tables. Supervising animators, Songs and Awards sections suffer from this. If the sections are really necessary (and two of them probably are), then please work some discussion into this or merge them into other appropriate sections. For Supervising animators - Why is this is important? what they did, how they did it etc.
    • Maybe a quick copyedit from someone not familiar with the text? I'm not the best judge when it comes to grammar/spelling but I did notice a few things. Eg. "Nala, voiced by Moira Kelly as and adult and Niketa Calame as a cub."
    • Several wikilinks are duplicated. Please remove duplicates.
That's all I've got for now. Other than the lack of cites, nothing too major, so most of these shouldn't be too much of a problem to address. Cheers, darkliight[πalk] 11:45, 22 August 2006 (UTC).
  • Comments. Trivia and Title in other languages should be dealt with. Very listy, with too much unencyclopedic content. Weasle words (generally, etc.). And, not well-cited. Sandy 11:56, 22 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment Images need fair use rationale 216.189.165.232 00:40, 26 August 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment: I've fixed most of the minor problems stated above, and somebody has also removed the "Title in different languages" section. Chris1219 10:39, 23 August 2006 (UTC)
    • I struck off a few things, including the concern that some sections were only lists. I still think that, overall, the article is very list heavy though and should be addressed. darkliight[πalk] 10:57, 26 August 2006 (UTC)

Object. Here's my overview:

  • The plot summary in the lead is one sentence, and, even for a lead, just seems way too general for me. At the very least, there should be a mention of Scar and Mufasa.
  • The "Production" sections is lacking in several areas. The first two sentences of the first paragaph need citations, and the third sounds like a POV statement to me. I have a feeling you could expand on the use of computers with the animation. What is multiplaning, and how is it like Bambi? Also, does the DVD have any information regarding the writing of the script, casting, release, etc.?
  • The plot section could greatly benefit from a copyedit and removal of POV sentences ("After Mufasa departs, Rafiki advises Simba in a particularly memorable moment.") It is also overlong because of a little too much detail. I would trim it to a little more than half its size now.
  • I'll let someone else to that part, I agree it does need an trimming. Jaranda wat's sup 01:44, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • "Reaction" has no critical opinions whatsoever. The box office performance table should be converted to prose, or maybe just deleted, since it repeats information in the same section. Awards is so small that the heading should be taken out and it just merged into a paragraph.
  • Merged the Awards section, and added an opinion by Roger Ebert Jaranda wat's sup 01:44, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • The "Cast" section is very good, with a nice image. My only quibbles are the two sentences in Scar's and Mufasa's entries; they're obviously trivia, get rid of them.
    • Done. Chris1219 14:08, 2 September 2006 (UTC)
  • "Music" just feels like there could be more there. Also it needs citations for sentences like: "Many critics felt this played a crucial role in establishing the grand mythic tone of the African story."
Well I removed the minor songs section as unnessarry. Will try to work on this later, as I think this article should be an FA, still needs much work. Jaranda wat's sup 01:11, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • "Sequels and spin-offs" is okay too, although: "Next, a direct-to-video sequel called The Lion King II: Simba's Pride was released in 1998, focusing on Simba's daughter Kiara. However, as revealed in the book set The Lion King: Six New Adventures, Simba and Nala's new-born cub at the end of the first film was a son called Kopa. This means that Simba's Pride completely disregards Kopa's existence, and replaces him with Kiara." Duh.
  • "Home video":
  • It says the VHS edition contains a "certificate of authenticity". Why's that included?
  • It also says the Laserdisc edition has a director's commentary the VHS didn't. I don't think most VHS tapes have them, so this is not notable.
  • The last paragraph needs citations, and seems to contradict itself with "The DVD was also the first to include an optional Disney Enhanced Home Theater Mix for the film's soundtrack, and received great response from consumers."
  • For the "Soundtrack and other albums" part, split the track lists into subarticles, and remove all the album cover images.
Done, I kept one album cover though. Jaranda wat's sup 01:11, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Drop "Uniqueness in the Disney films".
Done Jaranda wat's sup 01:11, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • What's with the "Merchandise" section? You're describing the shading and artwork of the products?! Are you kidding me?!
  • Removed that section. Jaranda wat's sup 00:55, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Minor things:
  • Remove the word 'Cited' from "Cited References".
Done Jaranda wat's sup 01:11, 1 September 2006 (UTC)
  • After you remove most of the images, you need fair use rationales and sources for the ones kept.
  • Get more references.

--Dark Kubrick 03:41, 27 August 2006 (UTC)

I've just noticed that the article's talk page has a failed featured article nomination link, but apparently that failed nomination and this one are exactly the same thing (including my comments). I think you would have to remove the Failed FA Nomination box, since that never seem to have happened. --Dark Kubrick 00:28, 28 August 2006 (UTC)

Here's the one that failed. When the new FAC began, it must have been linked to instead because it now has the same page name as the original. Ryu Kaze 12:36, 28 August 2006 (UTC)