Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Pinball/archive1

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[edit] Pinball

Self-Nomination. The game of Pinball has a fascinating and somewhat checkered history. Quite a few of us have been working on conveying our true love for pinball in this wikipedia entry and we feel that it would be a great featured article. Please leave below any comments you have regarding the nomination of 'Pinball'. Thanks.

  • Object. No references, lots of sections are too short, some sections only consist of long lists. Needs a lot of work, refer to WP:Peer review. — Wackymacs 19:34, 29 November 2005 (UTC)
Thanks for the feedback. Wow, very fast! I put the nomination up less than sixty seconds ago. I'm surprised you feel that the sections are too short. Do you perhaps mean the sub-sections? The main sections are 'History', 'Features of a Pinball Game', "Machine Layout', 'Playing Techniques', etc... We could drop the sub-titles in the history section, if you feel that would tighten it. The listing mainly takes place for "Pinball Firsts', which I feel is proper. We could drop the list and write it out in longform, but then we would simply by typing "The first machine with a ramp was... The first machine with a building jackpot was..." Do you feel this would make for a better article? I do think the 'Notable Pinball Simulators" could be described a bit better, perhaps longform would be more proper for that section. I'll take another look at that. Anyway, thanks again. Totally appreciated.
Yes, I did mean the sub-sections. If you remove them, and add references, I'll take another look at it. Removing the list and replacing it with prose would be best. — Wackymacs 20:36, 29 November 2005 (UTC)
  • Comment - More pictures would really help this article. An annotated pinball machine could help with the explanation of machine layout. And you could have various machines from different eras chronicling its history. - Hahnchen 23:51, 29 November 2005 (UTC)
  • Object. No references (of course), convention on external links says they should not be inline in the article itself but be collated in ==External links==, Pinball Firsts strikes me as too much of an unencyclopedic trivia bullet-point list, some sections like maintenance & repair and pinball simulation are too short. Lists should be kept to a minimum — if they make up the bulk of a section or subsection, something is wrong. The N.B. portion of the features section also seems that it could be better integrated with the rest of the prose. Johnleemk | Talk 09:04, 30 November 2005 (UTC)
  • Object -- Article does not use introduction paragraphs to give higher-level overview of the topic. If you don't know what a pinball machine is, then being plunged immediately into "a planar surface inclined upwarded from three to seven degrees" is entirely the wrong level of detail. Please remember that this article may be read by international citizens and should be written for someone entirely unfamiliar with the topic. The introduction to the entire article is far too short, and doesn't give the reader a very clear idea of what the topic is. I think that the "History" section would be better later in the article, once we know what pinball is, but your milage may vary. I also agree that the article desperately needs a front-on picture of a pinball machine, or perhaps a diagram. Also, of course, references. -- Creidieki 00:11, 1 December 2005 (UTC)