Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Persian Empire/archive1

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[edit] Persian Empire

Persia was one of the most influential civilizations in the ancient world. This article is a comprehensive, well written and in depth article plus it covers Persia from ancient times to World War II. Amir85 13:02, 7 February 2006 (UTC)

• Object Insufficient lead. References are not properly formatted and no footnotes. Otherwise, a solid article. Phils 15:28, 7 February 2006 (UTC)
• Object - weak/short lead, no inline citations. Also lacking with the section "List of Kings and Emperors of Persia"- perhaps this should be made a See also section? AndyZ 00:19, 8 February 2006 (UTC)
  • I revised the lead. About inline citations and footnotes, I don't think it would apply here as the article is more like a general and disambiguation article which briefly unravels the different dynasties and gives internal links which reader can follow in detail. Plus it introduces to reader a number of liable and helpful books for further readings. Amir85 13:04, 8 February 2006 (UTC)
• Object - no inline citations, and the article should be renamed to History of Persian Empire as it sais almost nothing about economy, military, geography, politics and other areas that are required for a comprehensive overview of a former state.--Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus ^Talk 17:56, 9 February 2006 (UTC)
• Object. I don't think that such a comprehensive subject may be adequately covered in one article. What is more important, the copyright status of many images is difficult to ascertain. Some are not even tagged. --Ghirla | talk 18:10, 9 February 2006 (UTC)
• Object. The current objections are valid and I have a bit I'd like to clarify. I think that this article has potential to cover a lot of the history of the Persian Empire, but needs to real peer review and work before coming back to a Featured Article candidacy.
  • Length and Writing: With a topic as wide-ranging as this, you're going to run into the exact same problem World War II did in its failed Featured Article candidacy. Some people feel that the article doesn't cover any one topic sufficiently. Others will say that the article is simply too long and difficult to read. It's really all in how you use "summary style" to achieve "brilliant prose." However, I don't believe that this article has "brilliant prose" in either case. Featured articles should not have choppy, one-sentence paragraphs. Yes, you're covering a lot of topics here — use it to concoct a couple of flowing paragraphs that present a good overview of the subject, then.
  • Comprehensiveness: I agree with Piotrus that this article is only about the history. Though the Empire is now defunct, you should still treat it as you would other countries/empires/etc. Finally, some sections are just completely bare, such as "Persia after World War One." The end of the empire has to be something notable, but there are three sentences covering the last decade and a half, from 1919-1935.
  • Inline Citations: This is a common objection that's been mentioned many times in this candidacy already. "Introducing to reader a number of liable and helpful books" is a good thing; there's no doubt about that. You also certainly don't need to cite every single fact you introduce into the article. However, Featured Articles require you to back up your figures and facts. It's not up to the reader to look them up to confirm them — it's up to a writer to confirm exactly where the information came from. If this is a general disambiguation article, it should read more like a list than the brilliant prose of a Featured Article.
  • Formatting: There are a number of issues. Spacing is not always consistent between different subsections. Only the subject (title) of the article should be bolded, and you should try to avoid bolding random topics throughout the article. Standardize to one style of spelling, though it doesn't matter which one — you're mixing American and British style. Why is there a section for List of kings of Persia? It's not done in summary style — just place it in a "See also" section, or something of the like. I see it's also already in the template for Iranian history.
  • Images: Though I won't object on this point, I'm not sure that all of the images fall under fair use. Take the example of the image at Image:Tajikestan.JPG. There's nothing special about that image that contributes signifcantly to this article, as its not discussing the Bibi Khanum mosque itself (though, admittedly, it mentions Samarkand). Therefore, there's no fair use rationale for this article. In addition, a free one "could be created." To use an explicitly copyrighted image of an existing structure that can still likely be photographed in an article that uses it as a general, and somewhat unnecessary, example, means that it should not be used here under the guidelines of fair use.
  • Content Question: The infobox template to the right of the introduction lists the Pahlavi dynasty and the Islamic Republic under "Empires of Iran," along with many of the ancient kingdoms. Fortunately, you clarify the scope of the article in the lead. However, you write that, "Successive states in Iran before 1935 are collectively called the Persian Empire by Western historians." This is an example of something you should cite, as it's a contentious issue. Why do only Western historians say so? Do other historians say otherwise? You should also clarify the infobox if you're going to use it in the article. Is there a difference between "Empires of Iran" and "Persian Empire?" — Rebelguys2 ^talk 19:10, 10 February 2006 (UTC)
• Object - no inline cites, few refs, and empty section ("List of Kings and Emperors of Persia"). Thanks! Flcelloguy (A note?) 16:55, 12 February 2006 (UTC)
• Object - I also noted that there are no inline citations. Also some sections covering important centuries are really too brief; to this, we can add that economy and culture aren't treated enough. Aldux 23:03, 12 February 2006 (UTC)