Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/K-os

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[edit] K-os

A self-nomination, I worked on this article mostly in my sandbox and expanded the article to a good standard in my opinion. I have added sound samples and pictures and think this article is ready for a nomination of such magnitude. The only outstanding problem I see is the missing chart positions for the singles which I did inquire about to an experienced user but the sites he provided did not provide any information. So I'm not really sure about that part. But never the less after a week at the normal and Wikiproject Biography peer review I do think the singles are of tiny importance and think this article is of featured quality. So please I would like to hear any outstanding criticism and I'll try to do everything I can to improve the article based on those suggestions. - Tutmosis 23:14, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

  • Comment The lead is a mess. First of all, the initial sentence needs the word "on" (or something similar) between k-os's real name and his date of birth, and there should be a comma after Ontario. It repeats the fact that he's a rapper and singer in the first two sentences, and it also repeats the fact that he's a producer. In fact, the sentence about his work as a producer should read "a producer as well as a musician," not the other way around. In the second paragraph, singles (such as "Musical Essence") should be in quote marks, not italics. The same sentence ends "...and the 1996 Rise Like the Sun." Aside from the fact that, again, the song titled should be in quotes, that fragment doesn't make any sense. (How about "1996's 'Rise Like the Sun'" or "'Rise Like the Sun', released in 1996"?) Then, just as song titles need quotes and not italics, albums need italics (as opposed to no accenting, as is currently presented for Exit and Joyful Rebellion). The phrase "garnered platinum status in Canada with six singles" is awkward; the singles are separate from the album's platinum status. A comma is missing in the second-to-last sentence of the lead between "reviews" and "it". If the first two paragraphs have so many problems, why should I even critique the rest of the article? -- Kicking222 02:44, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
  • Conditional support. Kicking222 is right about the repetitions in the lead and about the use of quotations and italics for the songs (I checked MoS and MOS:ITALICS). Nevertheless, I think these issues can swiftly be fixed. Under the condition that this will happen (I underscore the conditionality), I support this article, because, in general, it is nicely done.--Yannismarou 08:52, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
Reply to above Okay I fixed all the wierd phrasing in the lead and I made all the albums italics while all the singles were put in quotation marks. - Tutmosis 13:29, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
You have my support.--Yannismarou 20:34, 30 October 2006 (UTC)
More comments At this point, I'm pretty much just ready to oppose. Some of the music samples show up twice in the article. There are still tons of grammar (and assorted other) problems. Citations should only be placed at the end of sentences (after the period), not in the middle. "k-os emerged on the Canadian music scene with the single "Musical Essence" released in 1993 and "Rise Like The Sun" in 1996." That sentence makes little sense- those are two singles, not one single, and there are a bunch of commas missing. The first sentence of "Early Life" is half new info and half repitition of info we just got from the lead. Too many phrases are repeated; for example, the lead states "k-os emerged on the Canadian music scene", while the "Music Career" section begins "k-os first emerged in the music industry in 1993". The sentence "k-os says that growing up he was a big fan of New Order and Depeche Mode, as well as Boogie Down Productions and Slick Rick." is unsourced, unless it uses the same reference as the next sentence, which is about him going to college to please his father (a seemingly odd non-sequitur either way). The image of k-os after the Juno Awards is almost certainly not fair use. "After the Canadian release of the album k-os joined the tour with India.Arie across United States to promote his album" needs a comma between "album" and "k-os", and the sentence is awkward- it should read "toured with India.Arie". "k-os released on August 24, 2004 his sophomore album, Joyful Rebellion." is also awkward. "Canadian acts like Rascalz and Ghetto Concept." should have "such as" or "including" as opposed to "like". And the list goes on. Is the article comprehensive about k-os's life and career, written from a neutral POV, and factually accurate? It certainly seems to be. But is it well-written? At the very least, it could use a very thorough copyedit. -- Kicking222 01:59, 31 October 2006 (UTC)
I gave the article a copyedit and adressed some things you pointed out. Considering the fact that I wrote it, its hard for me to improve it unless I know exactly what I did wrong. Unfortunately couple things I'm a little confused about in your comment. I dont see any samples showing up twice, except they are listed again in their own section at the end of the article. The citation in the middle of a sentence is only because the first part of that sentence has a different source then the second part. So I don't see the point to break this pattern. The lead mentions nothing from "Early Life" except he was born in Toronto, so I don't know what you mean its restating the same information. I'm going to need more information on how the image is not fair use. Anyway, thats it. - Tutmosis 14:31, 31 October 2006 (UTC)
It is not "forbidden" to use citations in the middle of the sentence. It is recommended not to do it, but, when it is necessary in order to attribute the right emphasis on the specific part of the sentence one citates, then one can definitely do it (without overdoing it of course).--Yannismarou 17:29, 31 October 2006 (UTC)
Yea I figured, but never the less if its a problem I'll be welcome to change it. To me it doesn't seem to be causing any problem reading or understanding the article, if anything it makes it easier to see where a specific statement came from. - Tutmosis 18:00, 31 October 2006 (UTC)
  • The writing is probably just good enough for a FA, so I won't object. But there are little things like:
    • "The album received positive reviews but performed poorly in sales." "Performed" in this other sense is precarious here when a musical performance is at issue.
    • Bit overlinked. Why is "United States" linked at all? (Canada isn't.) Why are Toronto, Vancouver and Ontario linked repeatedly, sometimes at short intervals? Use the links strategically by rationing them—then the page won't be spattered with blue, and readers will be more likely to hit them. Tony 12:16, 18 November 2006 (UTC)
I fixed the double wikilinks you pointed out and rephrased 2 instances of "performed in sales". - Tutmosis 18:51, 18 November 2006 (UTC)
  • Support – well written musician biography, well referenced, nice article. I've made some minor copyediting to reduce some redundancies, but otherwise was a good article. — Indon (reply) — 08:37, 21 November 2006 (UTC)
  • Support - Looks very good. A free photo would be nice though. I suggest at some point soon you create some of the red-linked articles, such as K’naan, to give readers a better perspective of where k-os fits into the music industry. Wickethewok 17:47, 21 November 2006 (UTC)