Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Eric Brewer (ice hockey)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[edit] Eric Brewer (ice hockey)

I've been working on this article on and off for quite a while now and feel that it meets all featured article criteria. It is well written, complete with images, and very well cited. Hopefully you all agree and we can add another FA to the lot! – Nurmsook! (talk) 04:50, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Gary King (talk) 04:57, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Support - Looks good to me. Blackngold29 06:11, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

• What makes IMDb a reliable source for his (I presume) middle name?
• Would be nice if the publications, like the newspapers, were italicised.

Otherwise sources look good, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:55, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

• For my taste, there are too many wikilinks in the article. For example, when there are four separate wikilinks in a row that is too many.
• Also, I would like to remove Charitable contributions as a subsection under Personal history. Could that not be includes without being a separate section? Its removal would reduce choppiness.
• I am changing a few things about the writing style (e.g. too much wordiness, some punctuation issues) which you can feel free to change back to the way you have it. –Mattisse (Talk) 22:03, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

P.S. What happened at the end of his career that he did not suit up for three years? What is the state of his career now? I am not quite clear. –Mattisse (Talk) 22:45, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Quick Comment - Since the article is being worked on as I type this, I won't provide a full review yet. I do want to point out one early concern of mine. None of the newspaper citations have page numbers for verification purposes. Is it possible to add these? Giants2008 (talk) 23:02, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Just to point out, I removed the IMDb ref on his name, since that's not a reliable source. Plus one's name doesn't need sourcing. Wizardman 23:59, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

< Content moved to talk page> SandyGeorgia (Talk) 03:17, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

• User:Nishkid64, though not the general factotum, quotes the opposite point of view (the old, displace one regarding n-dashes) in his comments under Zhang Heng. (I realize you are removing this discussion to the talk page so that it will not be clarified in public.)

To quote

"*For the win-loss record, that's not a range, so I'm fairly sure it should just be a hyphen, not an en dash.

No, win-loss record requires an en dash. 7–9 not 7-9. See WP:DASH. Nishkid64 (Make articles, not wikidrama) 14:39, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Please clarify for all of us. –Mattisse (Talk) 03:29, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

As correctly stated by Nishkid, scores require endashes. They do not require html endashes; the hard-coded endashes that this article used were fine. It is not necessary to change a direct endash to an html endash. Further discussion on the talk page please, or please see WP:DASH or Dash to understand an html endash in relation to other completely acceptable ways of entering an endash. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 03:47, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

That link is not helpful for those of us who do not know html as it does not discuss the difference between "html" endashes and others. It just discusses when dashes in general are used. Perhaps you can recommend some more explanatory links. –Mattisse (Talk) 20:49, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

On a quick glance, I believe the hyphens and endashes are correct now. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 05:35, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

• "and he was inducted into the BC Sports Hall of Fame with his fellow British Columbians from the 2002 Canadian Olympic Men's Ice Hockey team in 2003 for this accomplishment." In 2003 should probably be moved to the end of this sentence. I'm not a fan of ending sentences with numbers, but it flows better that way. This also seems quite long; see if it can be chopped a bit.
• Personal life: "program, a program" Redundant. "find and develop both players and coaches".
• Remove second Kamloops link in section.
• Playing career, Prince George Cougars: "his final season with his minor league hockey team" Again, a pair of identical words close together, in this case his. Perhaps change the second to the team's nickname.
• The first paragraph of this section has all sorts of number issues. The general rule is to spell only numbers lower than 10, although some editors like to spell all numerals.
• "with an improbable playoff run with his Cougars teammates." More redundancy. Try to audit this throughout. In this case, try something like "by helping the Cougars go on an improbable playoff run."
• "Brewer finished this run with six points in the 15 Cougars games." How about "the Cougars' 15 games."
• What was his injury in 1998?
• Do we need another WHL link here? There is a lot of overlinking in general.

I'm not happy with what I've seen so far. There are some other rough patches in the first few sections, but these should get you started. Please attempt to procure the services of a quality copy-editor, who can help smooth out the entire text. Giants2008 (talk) 14:55, 10 June 2008 (UTC)