Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Clonaid/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 01:32, 14 October 2007.

[edit] Clonaid

previous FAC withdrawn

I hereby nominate this article for Featured Article status in hopes of making it appear on the 5th anniversary of the Clonaid claim on December 27, 2007.Kmarinas86 06:19, 1 October 2007 (UTC)

Comment Prior to the previous nom being withdrawn, there were two opposes for prose concerns, with some very good advice to seek a copyedit. There appears to have been no attempt to resolve these concerns, and so a brief read reveals plenty of prose problems. Please consider taking a more measured approach to bringing this to FAC. J.Winklethorpe ^talk 07:58, 1 October 2007 (UTC)

• After receiving many comments like these, I am sure that the cause of my bad prose is systematic (even pathological) in nature. It has almost become a way of thinking for me. It's difficult to stop it.Kmarinas86 20:31, 1 October 2007 (UTC)
• Fixes needed. Gave the first paragraph a small copyedit. However, I've spotted a few issues:

• "Florida attorney Bernard Siegel tried to appoint a different guardian for Eve and threatened to sue Clonaid." This rasies several questions? Who was Eve's original guardian? Why would Siegel want to sue Clonaid? The sentence needs more context.

Fixed. different→special.Kmarinas86 03:16, 2 October 2007 (UTC)

Fixed. Reason given and cited.Kmarinas86 03:16, 2 October 2007 (UTC)

• "A terminology dispute over whether Clonaid is really a company or just a project name led to accusations that that the whole Clonaid project was a sham." Sounds awkward (the change in tense in the middle of the sentence doesn't help). Accusations by whom? Who disputed the terminology?

Fixed. I hope.Kmarinas86 03:16, 2 October 2007 (UTC)

I'll add more comments soon. CloudNine 22:10, 1 October 2007 (UTC)

• Comment Karanacs 19:49, 2 October 2007 (UTC)
  • Please include an appropriate infobox
  • Please wikilink month and date combinations</>
  • There are very few wikilinks in the article. You could add wikilinks to states, to newspapers and news broadcasts, etc.
    • I'm encouraged by the fact that these are minor problems. I will try to sort those out ASAP.Kmarinas86 00:24, 3 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Done.Kmarinas86 04:29, 3 October 2007 (UTC)

Karanacs 19:49, 2 October 2007 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.