Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Bob Meusel

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted 02:18, 9 September 2007.

[edit] Bob Meusel

Self-nom a forgotten member of the famous New York Yankees teams of the 1920s, I expanded it from a simple stub. It still needs a copyedit, and I can't find much info on his after baseball career, and his early life though. I asked a few users to copyedit for me as I can't copyedit for my life. Everything else should be ok though. Thanks Jaranda ^{wat's sup} 00:57, 7 August 2007 (UTC)

• Comment - The career section has many stubby sentences, especially towards the end. Perhaps you could find a way to combine some of those into paragraphs. Mattisse 14:30, 10 August 2007 (UTC)
• I don't really see stubby sentences, I'll check if I could expand near the end. But every book I found is mainly trivial mentions of Meusel, the most I seen was a few pages. Thanks Jaranda ^{wat's sup} 20:40, 10 August 2007 (UTC)

• Comment - Support. Needs a copyedit. Sorry I didn't get to this (at your request) before nomination. Some of these points need to be addressed throughout. Overall, this is a possible promotion, but will need work. Slight reservation in my impression that it's ... kind of boring. But heck, sport is just not my thing. Who's your audience? Think about the types of reader you want to engage, and adjust accordingly. Try to make it interesting, especially at the top, where the numbers are hard to wade through.
  • MOS: nine/10 is the usual boundary for spelling out or digitising numbers. ("Eleven" in the opening sentence.)
  • "1920" and "1930" are good piped links, but "1920s" is in the category of trivial chronological link, and should be delinked.
  • MOS says not to insert "the year" before a year.
  • 6'3"—MOS says don't use those marks—spell out the main units. MOS says convert to metrics in parentheses. Worth reading MOS.
  • Commas often involve personal style decisions, but most people would want one after "1930 season".
  • Last para in lead is a very short sentence; it's awkward structurally. Can you remove it (presuming it's covered below) or expand into even a shortish para on that and related issues?
  • The section entitled "Personal life" contains a lot of professional information; isn't there anything more to say on his personal life?
  • Read MOS on lower-case in headings.
  • Do we need "New York Yankees" linked again and again? Same for other terms such as "hit for a cycle". There are so many valuable links in this article that we don't want to dilute them. Needs a complete audit to weed out the trivial and repeated links.
  • "69-85". Read MOS on en dashes.
  • "Passed away"? Oh come now, that's coy in an encyclopedic register: "died".

Last section:

"Meusel was best known for being a member of the Murderers' Row teams of the mid-1920s which included Ruth, Gehrig, second baseman Tony Lazzeri and center fielder Earle Combs. He shares the record for the most times hitting for the cycle with three, along with Babe Herman and John Reilly. Meusel was considered to have one of the strongest arms of the era. In his obituary, the New York Times called his throwing arm "deadly accurate".[1] Hall of Fame manager Casey Stengel said that he had never seen a better thrower than Bob Meusel.[1] Meusel occasionally played right field in Yankees games away from home to protect Ruth from the sun, as the sun affected Ruth's skill as an outfielder.[24] Meusel was characterized as a heavy drinker and womanizer who didn't get along with his teammates. His manager Miller Huggins called him "indifferent".[25] He was very quiet and reserved, rarely giving newspaper interviews until his career was winding down.[26] He was also known for his lazy attitude, such as refusing to run down ground balls, which many said kept him from achieving greatness.[27] Meusel was nominated for the Baseball Hall of Fame by its Veterans Committee in 1982 but lost to former Commissioner of Baseball, Albert Chandler, and former New York Giants shortstop, Travis Jackson, in the balloting.[28]"

• • "Best-known" (there's one in the lead, too).
  • Here, you must precede "which" with a comma, or it's an unintended subset of those teams.
  • There's a lot of vague attribution—"was known""was considered", "was characterized". If [25] is authoritative, just boldly make the statement. But does [25] cover both sentences or only the one? It's unclear. Consider otherwise naming the author of the reference "In his biography of Meusel, Blah claimed that he was a heavy drinker ...".
  • MOS says no contractions: "didn't". Tony 04:41, 11 August 2007 (UTC)
  • "Very" is usually very redundant.

• Tentative support - I like this article because it low key, direct and to the point. It is nicely laid out visually. If the problems Tony has identified are fixed I would wholeheartedly support it. Mattisse 15:48, 11 August 2007 (UTC)

• Support - As far as I can tell, Tony's objections have been fixed. The article, directed at baseball fans, concisely covers the amount of information available. I don't know much about baseball but I found the content interesting and well presented. The editor has avoided POV statements despite it being an article on a sports figure, an unusual feat in my experience. Mattisse 21:20, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

Addendum: I did some copy editing but was not a "significant contrbutor". Mattisse 14:52, 15 August 2007 (UTC)

• Can anyone else comment on this it's been almost a month and I'm heading to wikibreak soon, it will be a shame for this to close because of lack of activity. Jaranda ^{wat's sup Sports!} 02:50, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.