Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Art Houtteman

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[edit] Art Houtteman

previous FAC (04:36, 22 January 2008)

After having the article pass GA and having it looked at by several people, I believe I solved any problems from the last FAC, and am trying my hand at making this an FA again. Comments really appriciated, of course :) Wizardman 00:02, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Gary King (talk) 22:14, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Gary King (talk) 00:16, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Resolved stuff from Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 00:58, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Support All my concerns have been addressed. Very well-written, plenty of good info and well-referenced. Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 00:58, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Otherwise sources look good. Links all checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 00:28, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
(ec) I'm unsure about Baseball LibraryAlmanac, so I recommend Retrosheet as a replacement. SABR is a well-known organization in the baseball world, so it should be possible to prove that their people are experts in the field. Since I'm watching the NBA Finals tonight, I'll look for media stories tomorrow. Giants2008 (talk) 01:04, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
While I'm here, some printed sources lack page numbers, which are needed for verification purposes. Giants2008 (talk) 01:05, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
  • The baseball almanac ref I can move to retrosheet, as it's the same information anyway. As for the page numbers, I'm fairly sure that the ones that don't have them don't have them only because I couldn't find them anywhere. I can look through them again, but I put in whatever information I could find. Wizardman 00:55, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
I found an editors page on the SABR site here and it appears discouraging. While it includes several book authors, it doesn't seem that they are all experts, and the Chief Editor's credentials in particular are uninspiring. This is crucial because the FAC is in deep trouble without this source. This is the page of Houtteman's bio author. It does say he is the editor of a trade publication in Washington, but nothing on what publication. Giants2008 (talk) 20:32, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
On the positive side, the biography does list its sources. Giants2008 (talk) 20:39, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • "He finished the season with a 7–2 record, a 3.42 ERA, seven complete games, two shutouts, and a batting average of .300.[2]" His batting average or opponents batting average? Just wanted to make sure since it would appear Pitching stat, Pitching stat, Pitching stat, batting stat. (If it is his batting average ignore this).
  • "in which he had to drive in the winning run himself" would sound better as "In which he drove in the winning run himself"
  • "He had originally been classified 4-F, or medically ineligible for the draft.." Why was he allowed to enter if he was 4-F?
Overall, it's well written. Blackngold29 00:49, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
    • I fixed the first two comments, as for the last one I'm not sure of the answer. I'll ask someone who's more knowledgeable regarding military matters how that works to see if I can figure it out. Wizardman 21:54, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
    • I thought maybe the war had reached the point where they relaxed the rules to allow more people in (that's just a random guess though)? The sources said nothing about this? Blackngold29 22:25, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
      • Nope. Granted, he was classified as 4-F for World War II, but served in the Korean War. Maybe something happened i between there. In either case, can't seem to find anything on this yet. Wizardman 22:36, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • For the win-loss record, that's not a range, so I'm fairly sure it should just be a hyphen, not an en dash.
  • "He was called up to the majors into a pitching staff that lost players due to injuries and being called up to fight in WWII." - awkward, rephrase.
  • In the link "All-Star appearance," I think only "All Star" should be linked - put "appearance" after the link.
  • "He played three more seasons with the Tigers, then he was traded to Cleveland, where he pitched for the pennant-winning Indians of 1954."
  • "he finished his career in the minor leagues for a couple seasons, then Houtteman retired and became a sales executive in Detroit before his death in 2003." - erm, capital letter at the beginnning of the sentence? ;) Also, you first refer to Houtteman by a pronoun and then by his last name, which sounds awkward. One last thing - his death probably deserves a separate sentence, and it sounds awkward squashed into this one.

Nousernamesleftcopper, not wood 02:36, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • Inconsistent number usage in the second paragraph of the lead. We have "age of 17" and "fifteen games". If the choice was mine, I would change the first of these to avoid having a number end a sentence, but it's up to you.
  • Capitalization error: "he finished his career".
  • Early life: Link 1927 since it is a full date and the remainder is linked.
  • Detroit Tigers, Hard Luck Houtteman: We don't need his first name again here.
  • Redundancy: "yet suffered an extra inning 2–0 loss despite this." Yet and despite this.
  • "Houtteman pitched 13 games as a relief pitcher" Try "Houtteman appeared in 13 games as a relief pitcher".
  • And before "an earned run average".
  • "At the end of the season, Houtteman was declared by six of the eight minor league managers as the top minor league pitching prospect in the International League." Reword to: "At the end of the season, Houtteman was declared by six of the eight International League managers as the top pitching prospect in the league." Also remove being from the next sentence.
  • Capitalize Hall of Famer.
  • In fact, his first victory".
  • "He then lost eight more" Needs to say games.
  • "when tragedy nearly struck". Be very careful with phrases like this, as they can easily be seen as POV.

Not too bad for the most part. If I get time, I'll perform some cleanup myself in the next few days. Giants2008 (talk) 18:25, 10 June 2008 (UTC)