Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Arctic Monkeys/archive1
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[edit] Arctic Monkeys
This is the second nomination for Arctic Monkeys; since the first FAC, the article has undergone an extensive rewrite, including the removal of all unecessary fair-use images, new sections and plenty more sources. The article is at GA quality, and I've gone through it to correct any outstanding grammar issues (one of the points which held the article back last time). The article follows WP:MOS fully now, and I feel is now ready for Featured Article status. Laïka 13:09, 26 November 2006 (UTC)
- Object Prose needs work.
- Unlike many of their contemporaries, who were marketed and advertised extensively by record labels, Arctic Monkeys achieved their success through fan-made demo tapes and online file-sharing, culminating in fans singing along at gigs of songs which had never been officially released,[1] leading media commentators to discuss the possibility of a sea change in the way in which new bands are promoted and marketed. -> "Marketed" is the same as "advertised". What is being "culminated"? Awkward sentence in general.
- Eventually, the band signed to independent record label Domino Records, releasing their debut album Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, which debuted straight at number one and broke the record for the largest first week sales of a debut album in UK history. -> Repetition.
- After teaching themselves to play, the pair formed a band with Turner's school friends Andy Nicholson and Matt Helders later in 2002. -> "later" is unnecessary.
- According to Helders, Jamie Cook came up with the name at school before the band existed, saying "He just always wanted to be in a band called Arctic Monkeys. Which is a cool name." Unclear as to who is "saying" the quote.
- They themselves took no responsibility for their music, admitting that they did not even know how to get their songs onto the Internet. "They themselves"?
- The success of the strategy — "We've got this far without them — why should we let them in?"[2] — was illustrated with a series of sell-out gigs across the UK. Who said that? Why is it appearing in the middle of this sentence?
- The temptation of money saw them almost sign for an undisclosed "other label", but the band were attracted by Domino owner Laurence Bell, who ran the label from his flat and only signed bands that he liked personally. "temptation of money saw them" is quite an awkward construct. Also, "band were"? Gzkn 07:35, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks for your comments. I've fixed the issues you've highlighted with a couple of exceptions: Marketing is not the same as advertising; bands are often marketed in that the songs they write are often changed by the label to appeal more to a "key demographic", which is not the same as promoting them to the key demographic. Also, "they themselves" is a valid structure; indeed it even appears in the Bible, and "the band were" is valid in British English, which this article uses, but not American English. Laïka 08:34, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
- Comment Not all direct quotes attributed to people have been cited - this should be addressed. LuciferMorgan 03:14, 2 December 2006 (UTC)
- Object—1a, as per Smurray. Tony 12:46, 4 December 2006 (UTC)
- Object per Gzkn and Tony, and references need work. For example, news sources (like the BBC) should include the publication date. Sandy (Talk) 00:28, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
