Faux pas

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A faux pas (pronounced /ˌfoʊˈpɑː/, plural: faux pas /ˌfoʊˈpɑː(z)/) is a violation of accepted, although unwritten, social rules. Faux pas vary widely from culture to culture and what is considered good manners in one culture can be considered a faux pas in another. For example, in English-speaking Western countries, it is sometimes considered a thoughtful gesture to bring a bottle of wine when going to someone's house for dinner. In France, however, if the dinner is a bit formal, this is considered insulting as it suggests the hosts are unable to provide their own good wine. To bring wine to the home of teetotalers might suggest ignorance, obstinacy, or ill intent.

[edit] Origin of term

The term comes from French and literally means "false step". In French, it is employed literally to describe a physical loss of balance as well as figuratively, in which case the meaning is roughly the same as in English. This expression is usually used in social and diplomatic contexts. To be more direct, the French would usually say gaffe, bourde or erreur.

[edit] Examples

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For a broader list, see List of faux pas.

• African regions: A left-handed handshake. Offering and accepting things with the left hand.
• Arab countries; Indian subcontinent; Japan; Middle East; East Africa: South-East Asia: Displaying the soles of the feet or touching somebody with shoes. A left-handed handshake or passing food at the table with the left hand (because it's the hand you use to clean yourself with when going to the bathroom).
• Arabic-speaking countries: Setting the Qur'an or religious literature on the floor. Using the intimate word for "wife" or "sister" when speaking to the woman's husband or brother. Euphemisms are to be used instead.
• Scandinavia; Central and Eastern Europe;Korea"; Japan; China; Hawaii; Turkey; India; Iran: It is considered unacceptable, or at least rude, to enter someone's household and leave your shoes on your feet. It is also considered impolite in many Canadian households, though this is by no means universal.
• Caribbean: Waving at strangers. This can mean several things, one of which is that the gesturer may be trying to sell something.
• China: Giving someone a timepiece as a gift. The phrase for "giving a timepiece" is a homonym for burying the dead. It is also considered rude to eat first before the elders. Another faux pas at the dining table would be to eat a side dish without coming back to eating rice. This is also viewed as a faux pas in Japan.
• China: Giving a man a green hat. In Chinese culture, the gift of a green hat is a way of discreetly informing a husband that his wife is being unfaithful.
• Central and Eastern Europe: Shaking hands while wearing gloves (this does not apply to women).
• Egypt: Giving someone onions. The onion signifies contempt, and leaving one on someone's doorstep is a gesture meaning "Damn you."
• France; Francophone Canada: Using adieu as a common farewell, instead of au revoir. The former means "to God" and is used when you believe you may never see the other person alive again; the latter means "until return" or "until we meet again". Using adieu can sometimes be interpreted as an insult, meaning that you wish for someone to die ("go to meet God"), or that you hope never to see the person alive again. However, in southern France, "adieu" is often used to say "hello".
• France; Romania; Italy: Asking an individual their job or name directly. Offering someone a gift of chrysanthemums on an occasion other than a funeral (as chrysanthemums are generally associated with death in France, Hungary, Italy, Poland and Romania).
• Greece: Showing the number five by displaying a hand with fingers spread and palm facing the recipient of the gesture is offensive. The same gesture with the palm facing the gesturer is not.
• India; Pakistan; Bangladesh; Burma: Eating or shaking hands with the left hand, not greeting family elders at a gathering, addressing elders without salutations.
• Italy; Argentina: Placing one's hat on a bed, because it is reminiscent of the way a Roman Catholic priest sets his hat on a person's deathbed while performing last rites.
• Japan: When greeting or thanking another person, not bowing lower than an elder or a person of higher social status. Passing food from one pair of chopsticks to another is also considered rude. This is also viewed as a faux pas in other Asian countries such as China and Korea.
• Korea: Not bowing when greeting or thanking an elder or person higher in social status. Writing someone's name in red (which normally symbolizes death). Pouring a drink with one hand when serving a drink to an elder. Handing over objects to or receiving objects from an elder with one hand. Smoking in presence of an elder. Drinking alcoholic beverages in presence of an elder at the same table. (Upon the elder's permission, the person can have his or her drink facing the other way.) Eating before an elder at the same table starts to eat.
• Middle East: Addressing an elder or person higher in social status with his/her bare name. Words like uncle/aunt, (elder) brother/sister or formally Mr./Mrs. are expected to be used.
• Bangladesh;India;Pakistan: Using the pronoun "tum" or "too" (you), instead of "aap" (formal you) when talking to an elder or a stranger. Walking with shoes on the carpet inside a house. Calling an elder or a stranger of the opposite sex with just their name.
• Slovenia;Romania; Republic of Moldova; Russia; Slovakia; Czech Republic; Croatia; Hungary; Serbia;Republic of Macedonia; Poland; Bulgaria; Ukraine; Estonia; Lithuania; Latvia: Giving somebody an even number of flowers, which should only be done in funerals.
• Philippines, Central America, Puerto Rico, Sweden: A man offering to carry a woman's personal belongings, as at an airport or train station. This is considered a form of flirting.
• Latin America, Arabic-speaking countries, Somalia: Beckoning with the index finger. This is considered patronizing because the gesture is used to beckon small dogs. Instead other gestures are used. In Mexico and Central America, for example, the entire hand is held at face level, pointed down, and used to beckon a person to come toward the gesturer. A similar gesture with the hand pointed upward is a flirtatious gesture.
• South America, Spain, and other Spanish-speaking countries: Neglecting to greet someone at a social / family gathering. Any kind of large gathering of friends or family should be started by greeting every person present, and making sure to say goodbye upon leaving. This rule is more relaxed in a group of young people. Generally these formalities are far more relaxed in Latin America than in Spain.
• Thailand: Stepping over or standing on bills or coins; they all have the face of the King, who is highly revered. Also, touching a Thai person on their head, as the head is considered a sacred part of the body. Food must be kept above the ground level. Pointing feet at someone, or touching someone with a foot is considered disrespectful and insulting.
• United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa: The Bowfinger - The "V sign", made by holding the middle and index fingers up so as to form a V-shape (such as when indicating "two" of something, or as the "peace sign"), is considered offensive when made with the back of the hand pointed towards the listener, particularly when done so with an upward thrust. It is seen as having similar meaning to "the finger". With the hand held the other way, so the palm points towards the listener, the otherwise identical gesture is perfectly acceptable.
• United Kingdom, North America, Scandinavia, Ireland: Directly asking women their ages, unless there is a clearly understood medical, legal, or statistical purpose to do so. (This is generally considered much less of an impropriety in rural areas than in urban and suburban areas.)
• Europe, North America, Latin America, Australia, New Zealand: Blowing one's nose into anything but a tissue or handkerchief, nose and ear picking, and sneezing, coughing and yawning without covering one's mouth, are all considered rude.
• Various countries: In countries with a language that contains a T-V distinction, it is a faux pas to use the informal second person pronoun instead of the formal second person pronoun when addressing an elder or stranger.
• Bangladesh;India; Pakistan: Stepping/sitting on paper, books, money, religious items is considered inappropriate in Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan.
• Indonesia: Using the personal second person pronoun "kamu" or the shortened form "mu" (meaning "you"), instead of the more formal "anda" when addressing someone you do not know (similar to the T-V distinction in Romance languages).
• Malaysia: Addressing oneself in conversation should use the word "saya" rather than the more informal "aku" (both meaning "I").

[edit] See also

• Cultural diversity
• Etiquette in Africa
• Etiquette in Asia
• Etiquette in Australia and New Zealand
• Etiquette in Canada and the United States
• Etiquette in Europe
• Etiquette in Latin America
• Etiquette in the Middle East
• Intercultural competence
• Worldwide etiquette