Father Dougal McGuire

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Father Dougal McGuire
Ardal O'Hanlon as Father Dougal McGuire
First appearance	Good Luck, Father Ted
Last appearance	Going to America
Cause/reason	Series Ended
Portrayed by	Ardal O'Hanlon
Information
Occupation	Priest
Address	The Parochial House, Craggy Island

Father Dougal McGuire^[1] is a character in the comedy series Father Ted, played by the actor Ardal O'Hanlon. Renowned for sleeping in his Republic of Ireland shirt and He-Man sheets, the dense Father Dougal is one of life's innocents. He quite cheerfully admits that "the lights are on but no one's home." In the second season episode "Old Grey Whistle Theft," Dougal's age is mentioned as "nearly 26."

It is unclear how or why Dougal became a priest (though Ted suggests it was by collecting a certain number of crisp packets) and how or why he is allowed to remain one, as he often states that he has little to no belief in Catholic Christianity at all. Just as unclear is his presence on Craggy Island, though it has been alluded to that he was sent there by Bishop Brennan as a result of some act of stupidity which led to a mysterious incident on a Sealink Ferry that put the lives of hundreds of nuns in danger. He is "addicted" to rollerblading and often dreams about Carol Vorderman presenting Countdown naked. He doesn't really understand or believe in organised religion, and never seems quite sure what the clergy are meant to do (he famously mistakes bishops for some sort of sci-fi loving insect exterminators). He wears a tank top over priestly black.

His intelligence is incredibly low. He struggles to understand basic concepts of life; for example he has obvious trouble distinguishing between real life and dreams. In one scene Ted compares some toy cows with real cows in a nearby field and Dougal spectacularly fails to understand the difference between objects that are physically small and objects that just appear small due to their distance from the observer.

Dougal has an intense fear of women, and has no idea how to interact with them socially. He can barely summon the courage to speak to nuns, even though he admits "they're not as scary as real women."

Dougal once served a short stint as the Craggy Island milkman, taking over from the sex-mad Pat Mustard. However, Mustard put Dougal's life in danger by rigging the milk float with a bomb. Fortunately, Ted, with help from two Mass-loving priests from Barren Island and Father Jack's pet brick, got him out of trouble.

Dougal's equivalent on Rugged Island is Father Cyril MacDuff, who is also unbelievably dense and stupid. Whenever Ted and Dougal have triumphed over Father Dick Byrne, Cyril will sneer "Better luck next time, lads" at them, before being reminded that his side lost. Ironically, Dougal believes Cyril to be "an awful eejit."

Upon the death of John Paul II in 2005, Irish bookmakers included Dougal in the running for the next pope (as a joke with odds of 1,000 to 1) - better odds than many real-life cardinals and archbishops. Some small bets were received, which is testimony to the popularity of the character and the humour of the Irish and other gamblers.^[2]

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