Fake orgasm
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Faking orgasm refers to the act of pretending to have an orgasm without actually experiencing one. Faking is more commonly done by women, but can also be done by men. For women in a heterosexual relationship, faking orgasm is often based on deference to the man, need for his approval, or feelings of shame or sexual inadequacy.[1]
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[edit] Reasons for faking an orgasm
Orgasm is not always achieved easily during sexual activity. In both sexes, the condition of being unable to orgasm during sex is called anorgasmia; it can be caused by a variety of factors, including factors in one's life such as stress, anxiety, depression, or fatigue, as well as factors related to the sex itself, including worry, guilt, fear of painful intercourse, fear of pregnancy, the undesirability of a partner, the undesirability of a setting. It can also be caused by drug use, including alcohol and other drugs, or side effects from prescription drugs..[2]
People can fake orgasms for a variety of reasons, such as when their partner wants them to orgasm but they are unable, or when they desire to stop having sex but are not comfortable telling their partner directly. People can also fake orgasms for reasons of display or presentation, such as during phone sex or in pornography.
Women tend to achieve orgasm during sex less readily than men, and thus faking an orgasm is more common among women. Most women require direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Not all sexual positions provide access to the clitoris, thus making orgasms difficult to achieve for women during sex.
Radical feminists have pointed to women faking orgasm as a sign of male-centered sexuality; women in a discussion group in 1967 analyzed their need to fake orgasms and decided that faking was a response to pressures placed upon them by men. As such, the need to fake an orgasm often sits in a broader context of other problems with sexual repression or male-centered sexuality. Many of these women also experienced feelings such as sexual rejection by their partners, or on the other hand, unwanted sexual attention; some were afraid to tell their partners what they wanted, and others said their partners resented being told what they wanted.[3]
Hugo M. Mialon developed a game theoretical analysis of faking orgasms as a signaling game. Only some of the predictions of his model were consistent with survey data used to check the validity of the model. Among other things, the survey data suggested that both women and men who would be more concerned if their partner were faking are less likely to fake themselves, and that older women and men are more likely to fake than younger ones. [4].
One study of orgasm found that women who fake orgasms were more likely to neglect their partners and flirt with other men at social gatherings; the authors of this study speculated that women who fake orgasms may be more likely to engage in sexual intercourse with men other than their partner, although they recommended caution at interpreting their findings due to a small data set and a large number of variables being studied.[5]
In therapy or counseling, women are more likely to inaccurately portray their sexual behavior (such as by claiming to orgasm when they do not) to a male therapist than to a female one, although women may still withhold the same information from female therapists.[1]
[edit] References in popular culture
- Elvis Presley: Too Much (Lee Rosenberg - Bernard Weinman) Released, January 4, 1957. Like to hear you sighin' Even though I know you're lyin'
- First fake on a released record. Little Girl, John and Jackie. He's crooning his love, she manages 4 fake orgasms in 2min:12sec, a quicker rate than Donna Summer's 19 in 21min on full length version of Love to Love You. Released as a flip side to a record released in USA on Aladdin 45-3425 1958/July 21.
- First hit record with a fake orgasm was the 1968 "Je t'aime... moi non plus" by Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg.
- The 1989 American film When Harry Met Sally... is well known for a scene in which the two title characters are having lunch at Katz's Deli. They are arguing about a man's ability to recognize when a woman is faking an orgasm. Sally claims men can't tell the difference, and to prove her point, she vocally and vividly (while fully clothed) demonstrates the skill as other diners watch.
- In "The Mango" episode of the American television program Seinfeld, Elaine tells Jerry that without him knowing, she had faked all her orgasms during their relationship. Later, Kramer also refers to having faked it. Due to the exchange between Jerry and Elaine, George becomes paranoid that his own girlfriend may have faked it, and subtly accuses her of doing so. This angers her (whether or not it was true) and he is kicked out.
- In "They Shoot Single People, Don't They?", an episode of the American television program Sex and the City, Charlotte tells Miranda her reasons for faking an orgasm.
- In the Friends episode "The One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work," Chandler realizes he doesn't want to have a baby with Monica while he's still at the beginning of a new job, but doesn't quite know how to tell her; he admits to faking an orgasm while the couple were trying to conceive.
- In the Will & Grace episode "Ben? Her?," Jack attempts to extort $500,000 from Karen after his sham marriage to Rosario falls apart. Karen complains that she had to continually fake orgasms in order to receive the money in the first place.
- In the Family Guy episode "He's Too Sexy for His Fat", Stewie fakes an orgasm while eating while eating roast beef to make Chris, on a diet, jealous saying "I wish you could have some Chris, its practically orgasmic!" following to make orgasm noises when Brian says the famous line "I'll have what hes having."
[edit] References
- ^ a b [1] Person, E.S. (1983). "Women in Therapy: Therapist Gender as a Variable." Int. R. Psycho-Anal., 10:193-204.
- ^ Definition of Anorgasmia: medterms.org/medicinenet.com
- ^ [2] Alix Kates Shulman, "Sex and Power: Sexual Bases of Radical Feminism", Signs, Vol. 5, No. 4, Women: Sex and Sexuality. (Summer, 1980), pp. 590-604.
- ^ [3] Hugo M. Mialon, "The Economics of Ecstacy", July 16, 2007
- ^ [4] Randy Thornhill,Steven W. Gangestad, Randall Comer, "Human female orgasm and mate fluctuating asymmetry", Animal Behaviour, Volume 50, Issue 6, 1995, Pages 1601-1615.