User:Evlekis
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| ЕВЛЕКИС, Стефан Evlekis, Stefan |
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Security Officer holding SIA badge
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| In office May 2001 – Not yet |
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| Preceded by | Alexander the Great |
| Succeeded by | (incumbent) |
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| Born | 25 June 1976 Trowbridge, United Kingdom  |
| Nationality | Yugoslav, Slav or Montenegrin |
| Political party | Reunification of Slavic Peoples versus the United States & Cronies |
| Spouse |  Greta |
| Profession | Permanent secretary to Justice Minister in Zanu PF |
Evlekis (Serbian Cyrillic: Евлекис, Macedonian Cyrillic: Евлекис, Bulgarian: (see Macedonian), Greek: Ευλαικής, Eulaikís, Macedonian Latinic: Evlekis, Serbian Latinic: Evlekis, Croatian, Slovene, and Bosnian: Evlekis, Polish: Ewlekis, Swedish: Ävläkes, Turkish: Evlekıs, Romanian: Evlekîs, Portuguese: Eflks, Arabian Latinic: sikelvE, Hebrew: אבלקיס, Tok Pisin: Felar-iz-stupit, Macedonian Latinic: Evlekis (in case one couldn't remember from the start of this translation), Danish and Norwegian Bokmal: Ævlækes, Hungarian: Evlekész, Montenegrin: Евле... (most are too lazy to finish the sentence), Italian: Evlechisi, Albanian: Evshëlki, German: Ewlekiß, Spanish: Eblequis, and Torlakian Latinic-Cyrillic mix: Eвлекис, we use the E from Latinic, and the в,л,к,и,с from Cyrillic, come up with the totally new variation: Евлекис) was born in Wiltshire in the UK on June 25, 1976 and has to date lived more or less in the same place. As by now you'll have realised, much of this user page is a parody of other Wikipedia articles. Naturally, some of the facts on this presentation are factual, others are false; it is down to the reader to decide what he or she believes is real. The photos are actual, as are my political views, but some of the introductions to the sections are, shall we say wildly inaccurate. Through this user page, I hope my my character will become clearer to all! Pleasant reading.
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[edit] Education
My parents were from the Yugoslav diaspora of the late 1960's to the UK. Their own backgrounds meant that I would be of Orthodox faith but that meant problems in finding a school in such a small place. In the end, they opted for a Catholic school where I would be educated. Well, where I would at least attend. Sadly, the twelve years of basic education were misspent, no qualifications were achieved and so I settled for a working man's life. This did indeed embarrass the parents as most of their colleagues from the same diaspora were boasting their children as successful and being in university and ultimately getting good work. But they loved me all the same.
[edit] Language
I grew up with the ability to communicate in more than one language. The natural language of the parents was Macedonian (of the then Yugoslav republic) and this was the first language learned by me. From the age of six, I was attending classes in this language, and from eight, in Serbo-Croat which was the principle language of the land of my parents. A year later I was introduced to a Bulgarian family who would look after me when my parents worked, and so I picked up Bulgarian. By now it was rather simple because of the similarity with the other languages. This would come in useful in later life when I would my wife-to-be, who came from Bulgaria of all places.
[edit] The end of Yugoslavia
I was raised in a Yugoslav spirit in quite the same way that most young people of their respective countries of the world are today, atleast the stable ones. As one by one, the republics broke away and as war raged, and as the whole area was the main subject of the international news accross the globe for the wrong reasons, my world was torn apart. Even though a country called Yugoslavia did exist after 1992, a country which I would love very much, I could not bring myself to hate the others, I respected the rights of significant groups, especially where nationality was concerned, and besides, the region from where my own family originated did itself break away.
Then came the solution. Having grown up never to see Bulgaria a part of the federation but still very closely affiliated to her and her people, I realised that a single country was not at all necessary, what mattered was that the people from one border to the next could embrace each other as friends and welcome each other warmly. It appeared that this phenomenon is very possible. And so I would often join friends from the former republics plus Bulgaria who would at various times gather to throw parties, whereby local food would be eaten and local music would be played, just like the old Yugoslav events which took place before the 1990's. Like this, he or she who wanted to come was welcome, and they who didn't were not missed. I occasionally visited certain cafés in London which entertain people from the Balkans; and to these same venues, musical acts from the former Yugoslav republics will perform every so often. But no more, because I hate London.
[edit] More languages
Since the mid 90s, I slowly began to pick up bits and pieces of foreign languages; this I did from travelling backward and forward, and from mixing with general crowds in larger towns. I picked up lots of Greek from constantly flying to Thessaloniki and subsequently travelling by road to the northern border. A relationship with a lady in Novi Sad from 1999 to 2000 meant that I would fly to Budapest from where I'd carry out the same kind of journey as with Greece. This was of course because of the crisis in Kosovo in 1999, with no planes landing in Belgrade. This way, Hungarian was picked up slightly. Trips in 1995, 1997, 1998, and 2000 to the Netherlands over several weekends each year tought me some Dutch and more about Germanic languages. This led to the most successful attempt at a language given that all learning was private, and for fun. Swedish became technicly a third language for me (given that the Slavic Balkan languages are a little too close together for me to really class them as seperate, even though I know they are). But without practise, this too has deteriorated and improved from time to time.
[edit] Politics
I wish for it to be known that I am an egalitarian. I respect all people's wishes and desires and prefer to stay outside of political debate. This is not always practical though; there are certain issues. Having seen what happened in the Balkans, I am largely Anti-War for clear reasons. I am not outright opposed to war though; I believe that countries may defend themselves whilst on their own soil, but even this leads to questions, how does one define what is his soil? Simply because 150 countries recognise it? What about the others? And what about you when you are on your own? Do the feelings of a whole community not matter just because the so-called civilised world is against them? It can be a tough issue, but one thing is for certain, I believe that no government has the right to send soldiers into a country outside of its periphery.
[edit] A Fictional Story unrelated to actual events...well...a few...
[edit] Planet Earth, Southern Hemisphere, September 31st AD 5126
The Kingdom of Ebanje (fictional) borders The State of Knulla (also fictional); the borlerline counties of Knulla (West Pizda) have a 60% ethnic Ebanjan majority - sickened by the humanitarian violations of their ethnic rights as promised when the Knullar chancellor Mr.Idi U Kurac rewrote the constitution six months previously; Article 14,755 stated that the "Ebanjan autonomous government shall control everything, and use its own currency too in return for nominal Knullar sovereignty." Apparently, fifteen roadsigns to the far north of their region were still bilingual, they contained translations in the unwelcome Knullar tongue, not removed by the U Kurac authorities. This upset the Ebanjan population! The King of Ebanje, Sheikh Gomno continously spoke of his kingdom's territorial integrity of West Pizda which he said "the Knullars annexed from us in the Rock'n'Roll Revolution of AD 482."
The Knullar Union of Sheppards, Car Mechanics and Funeral Directors always argued that their 40% population in West Pizda were descendants of the original Knullars who arrived on Pizda half an hour before the Ebanjans. They also claimed that Ebanjans had long been immigrating so as to enhance the demographic statistics. The typical Ebanjan birthrate average of 24 children per household also contributed to the population rise. Finally, U Kurac agreed to replace the roadsigns with Ebanjan language only signs, but sadly, there were spelling errors, and that, was as much as the Ebanjans could take. Within six weeks, ethnic-Knullars from West Pizda were reported burgled, harmed, and forced to leave. Special Police were sent in from the Knullar capital Vaffanculo as they initially saw this as a crime problem to be dealt with locally, but the police found that they too were being shot at, some are even killed and soon it emerged that this was not just a crime wave, but the victims all have something in common :- they are all Knullars and Ebanjans who did not support independence. As the Knullar military intervened, huge numbers of Ebanjans fled, those who resisted were killed; the world was watching, the world looked on in horror! How could the Beautiful People stand by and watch such sickening events happen??? And so it was down to the great land of the good, Paardenlul and the International Community to intervene! Paardenlul lay some 16,000 miles away, or 25,000 km. In fact the only reason that Paardenlul was not any farther away was that with Earth being the shape and size that it is, it is impossible to be any farther, a step in any direction would have taken you "closer".
Paardenlul intervened using force after "failed negotiations" (ie. Give Ebanjans independence or we will strike), and thus war errupted and defenceless U Kurac was forced to give up his territory. The world rejoiced! Peace had been achieved! West Pizda achieved independence on Tuesday, and by 10pm, it opened its borders with Ebanje. The new name for this beautiful land was Greater Ebanje. The Sheikh was happy!
[edit] Ten years on
...and things are different now! U Kurac had been deposed about three years ago in the February 30th Uprising (largely supported by Paardenlul), before immediately being handed over to a non-political tribunual for war crimes in Vluggertje, a land with close ties to President Ben Zona of Paardenlul. Knulla has been welcomed back into the international community! Its new leader Pushi Kurac (no relation to Idi, his predocessor) has spoken of democracy for the first time in Knullar history! He even went as far as to call for civilian elections in a contest in which he would be the only candidate. Turnout was low, but after a change in the stature, he achieved his 12% majority and remained in office. Meanwhile, things in Greater Ebanje arn't as nice as they were a few years back! A new socialist group has gained popularity, disillusioned with their comodities ending up in the pockets of businessmen from Vluggertje and Paardenlul, making their economies bigger at the expence of the Ebanjans! The problem simmers. Paardenlul's administration talks of Marxist-inspired guerillas who wish to overturn Ebanje's beautiful democracy! The leftists soon assume power when the Sheikh is pushed in the Chicken Kebab Revolution, so-called because the riots originated from Burger King. A one-party system is installed, elliminating all opposition within two months, and the country is renamed the People's New National Democratic Free Federal Republic of Ebanje (or PNNDFFRE for short).
But some locals stayed out of the revolution. They were the 3.7% ethnic Knullar population of West Pizda; most of the original 40% ethnic-Knullars of West Pizda voluntarily fled at gunpoint within six weeks of the region changing hands. Oh no, they weren't "victims of ethnic cleansing" or anything, they were just deported as part of a population transfer (ie. State of Knulla - have your people back!). Anyhow, those remaining Knullars happened to reside in the municipalities where - by an astranomical coincidence - most of the brown shoe polish was all being produced, so vital for Paardenlul's chief executives when looking smart at board meetings. It is this what the new Leftists want to re-nationalise! A perfect time for the world to hear how West Pizda's ethnic Knullars have been treated since the borders changed, which for ten years fell on deaf ears. Similar problems occur, Paardenlul now has the impetus for interfering, and can tell the world that they are impartial because ten years earlier, they helped the opposition. Paardenlul and all three big allies, and a back-up of another 12 microstates (the International Comminuty) fly into Ebanje where they fight until West Pizda is returned to its rightful people; to ensure future peace, half of the Ebanjan majority of West Pizda are forced to change their names to Knullar titles with their language and identity forbidden; half are expelled; and the other half killed. The world rejoices; the Shoe Polish is reprivataised and bought by Ben Zona's daughter: Bat Zona. The international comminuty are happy again in the knowledge that they did not stand by and allow another widespread atrocity in West Pizda to continue! And in the three week encounter where the International Community shot and killed 48,000 Ebanjans - or presided over the deaths of 48,000 Ebanjans - or maybe, where 48,000 Ebanjans were killed as an 'indirect' result of Paardenlul & co. military action - better still - where the 48,000 men, women and children were found guilty of supporting President Caralho of Ebanje, they successfully saved 548 ethnic Knullars in West Pizda.
[edit] Conclusion
The story was a joke, and in no way meant to reflect any countries, but you could probably guess who might be who. In the above scenario, I will not critisize Knullars or Ebanjans for their desires and cannot condem their actions since one act of war leads to a response like in a game of tennis. However, I strongly critisize Paardenlul on both occasions, whether supporting Ethnic Group A, or B. They may have had their interests; they may have resorted to the same "false public motive" tactics as the others, but they are too far away to get involved in what is a local dispute: if the president of one land, or the rebel leader of the disputed territory start to feel that "too many of my people are dying", then he can swallow his pride and "surrender". Either that, or hang on in there and fight until he is beaten. Either way, war will end. If the fighting goes on decade after decade, generation after generation, it is probably evenly matched: this situation is horrible, one cannot outgun the other because their strength is equal. This is where one needs to be conscious, "so we are not losing, but people are inevitibly dying, shall I give in?", should he give in indeed? Maybe, but why can't the other give in first? And besides, dictators may be ruthless in that they supress opposition, but they still depend on popularity of some kind, particularly when their movement siezed power in the first place! Nasty dictators are also chosen for reasons of nationalism, nationalism is the result of populism, and that means the people (ie.democracy), so when Mr.Nasty Vile Dictator wakes up sweating in the night having relived some of the horrors which he commited, what happens when the next day he addresses the nation to inform them: "I have done bad, I can't bare this any more! I am giving up my claim on my land to stop bloodshed!" But POPULISM, remember? That is what Mr.President used when he was Mr.Opposition in Exile, it came from ordinary people, a bit like him when he lived under one-party rule.
The warring nation would have his guts for garters and have him replaced before he could finish his announcement.
This should now build the picture as to my feelings for Vluggertje too. The unnamed Microstates, they may all be forgiven for being puppets.
I try to follow what goes on in the world and tries to take an interest in news, current affairs and the economics of all people in all countries.
[edit] Future politics
I am opposed the Republic of Macedonia's bid to join the European Union. I fear that if Macedonia opens her borders to every "Union citizen" to move and work freely in Macedonia, then busloads will arrive daily, full of Germans, Danes, Swedes, French and other EU nationals, ready to take all the jobs on the tobacco fields and pepper allotments. It is known that the board of directors at BMW in Germany would close shop tomorrow if they knew that they could come to Macedonia and sell watermelons twice a week on the markets for a staggering 30 Euros a month, (such is the power of this quantity that in February, this is more than a Euro a day, even on leap years).
Unquestionably, if we of the Republic of Macedonia join the EU, we would also have the huge influx of Austrians and Dutch, coming over to spunge off our benefits: whilst the Macedonian private "cash exchange dealer" works on Sundays (because the Exchange Offices are closed on the holy day) just to look after those disorganised Australian Diasporans with his generous rate of giving them a whole Euro for the five dollars they give him, he pays tax, and every Macedonian goathurder knows that those parasitical Austrians only wish to live in Macedonia for the social benefits: 20 Euros a month from the state, plenty for their utilities with some left over to carry into next month. Likewise the Spanish, the Greeks and the Italians would (alongside the Portuguese) spend their whole days sitting outside our bars sipping the same Iced Coffee they bought the day before...so as not to spend their money. Well, where will our ethnic Macedonians go if this happens? Our own bars full, we'll be stuck outside. What if it is raining? Or snowing? No...Macedonia may NOT join the EU. The NO campaign is in effect, and will be led by Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarközy (ie. they will say no to Macedonia joining).
As if. More seriously, I am opposed to all non-member countries joining the EU. Apart from it being fruitless, I would gamble my bottom dollars that if Switzerland and Norway can maintain high standards of living without being members of the European Union, so too can Albania, Moldova and Macedonia.
[edit] Etymology
Did you know the name Evlekis is taken from the Proto-Indo European root "evliks". The Ev opening denotes ancestry in the aristocratic Slavs from down the centuries. The final ending -kis is a title for a king or a ruler; where-as its counterpart suffix "-ević" reflects descent from peasants, slaves and servants to the 'Kis' class. However, if one is called "-ović", don't think that you are free of a rogue history, as hard consonants were placed before your appropriate endings (yielding an /o/ in place of the /e/) to reflect that you are "impure Slavs" (ie. Hungarian grandmother or Turkish mother etc). Equally, the suffix -in reflects descent in the goathurders and sheppards. By 2007, many Wikipedians found all of this to be a load of rubbish; they used sources such as books on word origin to prove that this wasn't the case, and so I admitted that the whole thing was a lie. Evlekis is infact an anagram of my actual surname.
[edit] Ignorance
Because adjectives in Slavic languages (like in so many others) must agree with the noun, surnames take on a maculine form and a femenine form. Naturally here, Mrs.Evlekis - my single reason for living - has her surname spelt alternatively. Even now after the population of my home town in England has increased significantly with the number of Poles migrating since May 2004 (the time when their country joined the European Union); bank staff, estate agents, people in "high" places still ask why do we have different surnames! Well they all pretend to be clever don't they? They all like to stare down their noses at the working class community yet they produce such stupid questions. Sick to the bone of explaining the facts to them, I recently resorted to insulting their intelligence. So here now is the explanation given to civil servants at the county council when printing our tax payment book, or branch managers when opening a new bank account, or white-collar wearing individuals in general:
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- Due to a misprint on our marriage certificate which we didn't inititally notice, we decided to keep these alternate forms as official, so as not to pay the £35 fee required for a replacement document.'
Yes it shuts them up and they are stupid enough to believe it.
[edit] Music
With my Balkan background, I listen to a lot of the usual Pop and Folk from those countries. See Turbo-folk. Living in England however sees a different music taste. I hate most 21st century music and artists, and instead listen to groups and artists from days gone by. I listen to Thin Lizzy, Led Zeppelin, Genesis, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Sex Pistols, Rolling Stones, Elvis Presely, The Clash, ACDC, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, Sensational Alex Harvey Band, Deep Purple, Rainbow, Whitesnake, Status Quo, Rolling Stones and others. I do not respect the wife of the latter and I get sick when hearing about the X-Factor.
Also great is the original Rock n'Roll of Buddy Holly and Eddie Cochran.
Artciles which I began editing are for the time being are short, but they include:
Yes, I am only really interested in females!
