Etiquette in Asia

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In Asia, many points of good etiquette are derived from religious beliefs. This photo of the goddess Kannon (known elsewhere as Kuan Yin) stands on Mt. Koya, Japan.

As expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary according to each situation, no treatise on the rules of etiquette nor any list of faux pas can ever be complete. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is essential. However, a lack of knowledge about the customs and expectations of Asian people can make even the best intentioned person seem rude, foolish, or worse.

[edit] Generalizations

Although Asia represents an enormous expanse of geography with an incalculable number of different customs, and many rules of etiquette of Western culture are familiar throughout Asia and vice versa, the following points of etiquette can be useful when interacting with people around the world who have been raised according to an Asian tradition:

[edit] Appointments

In many situations, an emphasis is placed on promptness and appropriate attire that surpasses what many Westerners might expect. Likewise, breaking social commitments, such as appointments or even casual plans to meet with friends, can be a serious faux pas. Preventing another person from keeping a commitment, especially with family, is rude as well.

[edit] Elders

Special respect is paid to older people in many circumstances. This can include standing when older people enter a room, always greeting older people before others present (even if they are better known the speaker), standing when speaking to one’s elders and serving older people first at a meal table. Touching the head, shoulders or back of an older person can be considered disrespectful, even if the intent is to comfort or indicate affection. Older people are rarely referred to by first names; they are addressed with such honorifics as Mr. and Mrs. or the appropriate non-English equivalents. Sometimes terms such as "Uncle" or "Auntie" are appropriate for older non-relatives.

Even unskilled users should observe good etiquette when using chopsticks.

[edit] Chopsticks

Etiquette forbids tapping chopsticks against the side of a bowl, crossing one’s chopsticks with those of someone else, and for two people to touch food with their chopsticks at the same time. Do not gesture with chopsticks or use them to skewer food. All these actions are seen as extremely impolite. Leaving chopsticks standing in a bowl of rice or other food is a faux pas based on the resemblance to sticks of incense in a bowl used to honor dead ancestors. ^[1] The picture on the left is natto, a dish popular in the eastern regions of Japan.

[edit] Humility

Behaviors associated with humility, status and pride are very important in some Asian societies. Etiquette might demand that a great cook or artist should deprecate their own achievement in a way that might be viewed negatively as "fishing for compliments" or false modesty in the West. Situations in some Asian societies allow for displays of wealth or ability that would be uncomfortably ostentatious or in bad taste in Western societies. Pointing out this cultural difference might be a faux pas.

[edit] Luck

Certain customs regarding good and bad luck are important to many Asian people. These customs may be regarded as superstitions by many, but they are often tied to religious traditions and are an important part of certain belief systems, even among the well-educated and affluent sectors of society.

[edit] Shoes

Traditionally, shoes are not worn in households in nations such as Japan, Korea, Thailand, and Vietnam, nor in certain holy places elsewhere, such as many Buddhist or Hindu temples. The typical expectation is that shoes will be removed in the foyer and left neatly with toes pointing outside. Socks or stockings should be very clean and in good condition. In regions where shoes are not worn in houses, these rules also apply to restaurants, except those with Western-style tables and chairs. ^[2]

[edit] Etiquette by Region

Listed country-by-country, the following points define faux pas which might more easily befall a naive visitor to a given nation than a native or a seasoned expatriate. In considering this list, remember the following:

• In most countries there are significant numbers of people from different cultures, both immigrants and natives. For example, Laos has several groups of indigenous people who possess Laotian citizenship but are neither culturally nor linguistically Lao. A faux pas listed here under the heading for Laos might therefore apply to the Lao but not (for example) the Hmong people, or vice versa.
• A point mentioned under a given country might, in some instances, be useful in avoiding a faux pas with people from that country living or visiting elsewhere.

[edit] Bangladesh

• Women do not shake hands but instead greet with a polite nod. ^[3]
• The "thumbs up" gesture is considered obscene. ^[3]
• When crossing legs, feet or shoes should not be pointed towards anyone. The soles of shoes, sandals or feet are considered unclean.
• When receiving anything the right hand is always used.
• Bangladesh has a large Muslim population. Some points of etiquette in the Middle East are also applicable here. As Bangladesh has cultural ties to India, some points of etiquette listed here under that heading are applicable at times as well -- such as the prohibition against using the left hand for certain activities.
• If giving gifts, avoid frangipanis and white flowers as they are for funerals. Never give money. It is considered bad form to open gifts in front of the giver. ^[4]

[edit] Central Asia

Many countries in this region have traditions based on Islam and share values with other parts of the Muslim world. Guidelines regarding etiquette in the Middle East are often applicable to Central Asia as well. This holds especially true in Muslim majority countries such as:

When East meets West, differences in traditions surrounding etiquette can be a barrier. In this picture Chiang Kai-shek, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Winston Churchill meet during World War II.

[edit] China (including Hong Kong and Taiwan)

• A number of faux pas derived from Chinese pronunciation include gifts of timepieces, umbrellas, fans or green hats. Avoid holding or reading a book where people are gambling or engaging in an activity based on luck (such as investing on stocks) or offering to share a pear with relatives. ^[5]
• The Chinese are not keen on physical contact, especially when doing business. The only circumstance in which it may take place is when a host is guiding a guest. Even then contact will only be made by holding a cuff or sleeve. Be sure not to slap, pat or put your arm around someone’s shoulders. ^[6]
• On the eve of Chinese New Year, it is a faux pas to completely eat a fish at a reunion dinner as there are specific customs surrounding this. ^[7]
• While mourning for a death in the family it is a faux pas to attend a Cantonese wedding as it is believed to bring bad luck to the marrying couple. ^[8]
• It may be considered shocking for a pregnant woman to attend a funeral due to the belief that this endangers her baby. ^[8]
• While splitting bills at restaurants is common among younger people, older adults might consider it a matter of prestige to pay for the bill and will often compete for the honor. Allowing another to pay the bill without some protest may be a faux pas.
• China and Taiwan have been split for fewer than 60 years and still share cultural traditions developed over many centuries. However, although the official name for Taiwan is "Republic of China" and the term "Chinese Taipei" has been used at the Olympics, many inhabitants prefer to be referred to by nationality as "Taiwanese" rather than "Chinese" in English.
• Many standards of Western etiquette still apply in the former crown colony of Hong Kong.

Some people in India consider Western-style dress too informal for certain occasions. This woman in Kerala wears a type of Sari known as a Mundum neriyathum.

[edit] India

• Guests are generally offered a refreshment depending on the season and the time of visit. Arriving at meal times might result in an invitation to the meal. However, at times this is just a polite offer and sometimes can be a faux pas. While dining, additional food might be offered multiple times. These are generally second and third "rounds" and it is fine to decline them.
• A drink would imply alcohol
• It is not polite to not be offered any refreshments and this custom has been carried by Indians outside of India as well.
• Indian hospitality requires the host to insist their guests eat well and protest that they haven't had enough. It would be rude to decline by stating you're watching your diet or are trying to lose weight. In such a situation it would be better to leave the food on the plate.(To insist that you are full is better, as most Indians don't like wastage and would not like to see food and drinks being wasted.)
• When taking a gift for your Hindu hosts who invite a person to their home, many Hindu households follow a vegetarian diet and do not consume alcohol. For those who do, it is usually safer to avoid bringing in alcohol, as most do not drink at home or in the presence of elders of the family. If the host follows a non-vegetarian diet, beef and beef products [such as gelatin and rennet] are against their religious beliefs so avoid food items that may have these additives such as jelly, Skittles, marshmallows or cheese (if made of rennet).
• Many Indian households expect visitors to leave their footwear at the main door of their house.
• It is considered immature and hoggish to open a gift in front of the person who has given it. Gifts are opened in private.
• As India has a long colonial history, many rules of Western etiquette are widely observed.
• Eating, accepting goods or making payments with the left hand can be a faux pas (as it is associated with hygiene and cleanliness - left hand is unclean). In some situations, using both hands together is a sign of respect, such as a handshake, offering a gift or giving something in the temple.
• Some points of etiquette in the Middle East apply here, especially in regions where the Muslim presence is strongest.
• Many people in India and surrounding regions avoid shaking hands with individuals of the opposite gender. When meeting a person of the opposite gender, it is prudent to verbally greet them and then wait to see if the other person extends the hand first. Most often, especially with more elderly individuals, Hindus greet with palms together and say Namaste or its variants based on what region the individual is from such as Namaskaram and Vanakam down south.
• For a man to make any comment about a woman’s appearance can be considered inappropriate.
• Asking a person to a social event (e.g. a bar or restaurant) typically implies that the person offering the invite will be paying for everything.
• Among many communities, beliefs regarding holiness and cleanliness forbid the touching of one's feet to a person or an important object such as a book or food which are considered to be divine blessings by most Hindus. Custom also discourages displaying the soles of one's feet. Shoes are typically removed when entering a dwelling or place of worship.
• It is generally expected that men and women dress modestly when visiting the Hindu Temple. This can also be true of other places of worship in India.
• It is impolite and can be considered an insult to refuse the offering of prasad."Hindus believe that the prasad has the God's blessing residing within it". Offering of the prasad is by no means an attempt to evangelize nor should it be seen as forcing of someone else's belief onto oneself.
• The prasad must be accepted with the right hand or both hands when the prasad includes heavier items such as coconuts.
• It is considered impolite to address a person who is older or holds a higher status by their first name. In Hindi, the first name is usually followed by "ji" to show respect. Older non-relatives such as family friends or parents of close friends are usually referred to as Uncle and Aunty. It is rude to address family friends or neighbours by names if they are older than you.
• It is considered impolite to kiss a significant other in front of parents or other elders.
• Asking questions about caste, worshipping cows and dowry from your Hindu host/friends is frowned upon and usually casts you as ignorant in their minds though they're unlikely to say anything to that effect. Unless the discussion is initiated by them or you're close friends, steer away from bringing up stereotypes.
• Interacting with children is appreciated, unlike western cultures.
• "What are you doing/What do you do?" as in what do you do for work or as an occupation is a common phrase as a conversation starter after greetings, which is just their way of trying to make conversation with you.
• Caste is a very complex aspect of Indian culture, and talking about caste is spiked with too many faux pas for the unfamiliar. Most people belong to a caste. As a general rule, never talk about caste, and certainly not about any person's caste in particular.

Also: Etiquette of Indian dining

Some Westerners know little about Southeast Asian countries like Indonesia and Malaysia, economically well-developed nations that are home to many of the world's Muslims. Shown here are the Petronas Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur, one of the tallest buildings in the world.

[edit] Brunei, Indonesia and Malaysia

• Brunei, Indonesia and Malaysia have a Muslim majority and some points of etiquette in the Middle East apply. These countries also have a significant Chinese population to whom the points mentioned in regard to etiquette in China may apply.
• In Malaysia, one should not enter a mosque or Hindu temple without removing one’s shoes. Other places of worship such as Taoist or Chinese Buddhist temples and Christian churches allow footwear while others forbid it.
• Nudity (and toplessness with regard to women) is absolutely prohibited on beaches. Besides offending others, violators risk arrest.
• Placing or slapping an open palm on the top of a sideways-held fist of the other hand is a rude gesture. Inserting the thumb between the index and middle fingers of a closed fist is another.
• Regarding the head and feet, the taboos listed below in regard to Thailand are widely observed in these countries as well.
• Pointing with one’s index finger is considered impolite, especially when pointing at people. Instead, a closed fist held sideways (thumb at the top) with the thumb pointing the direction is used.
• Many Malays traditionally eat with their hands. It is customary to follow their lead, using only the right hand to eat.
• Addressing strangers in formal situations by their names (even if they have nametags) is rude. Instead, "Mister" and "Ms." are acceptable.
• It is considered rude to expose your toothpicking to others. Instead, cover your mouth with your other hand when toothpicking.
• Leaving your mouth open when yawning is discourteous. You must practise the habit of covering your mouth whenever you yawn.
• When walking pass someone older than you, you must bow down and place one of your hands at your back.
• When beckoning someone with a hand gesture, the hand is held flat with palm down, and fingers flexed toward the ground. Like the Japanese, to crook one or more fingers in the air is an obscene gesture.

[edit] Japan

For more details on this topic, see Customs and etiquette of Japan.

Japanese customs and etiquette can be especially complex and demanding. The knowledge that non-Japanese who commit faux pas act from inexperience can fail to offset the negative emotional response some Japanese people feel when their expectations in matters of etiquette are not met.

• Business cards should be given and accepted with both hands. It is expected that the cards will immediately be inspected and admired, then placed on the table in front of the receiver for the duration of the meeting. After the meeting, cards should be stored respectfully and should never be placed in a back pocket. You should not write on a business card. If you want to be taken seriously at a business meeting, you must have business cards. When you get them out, they should be in a card holder - not just taken out of your pocket. ^[9]
• It is a faux pas to accept a gift when it is first offered and the giver is expected to offer it multiple times (usually 3 times). Gifts are generally not opened in the giver's presence. ^[10]
• In greeting or thanking another person, it may be insulting if the person of lower status does not bow appropriately lower than the other person. However, foreigners are rarely expected to bow. The level and duration of the bow depends on status, age and other factors. It is a subtle art best left to the native Japanese (and even they find it challenging at times). ^[2]
• Pouring soy sauce onto rice is considered unusual. ^[2]
• It is less common to pour one's own drink in a social setting. Generally an individual will offer to pour a companion's drink and the companion, in return, will pour the individual's drink. Although if one of you is drinking from a bottle to glass and the other one is drinking just from a glass, it is fine to pour yourself because otherwise you will be in for a long wait.^[2]
• Blowing one's nose in public is a faux pas. Also, the Japanese do not use their handkerchief for hanakuso, which literally translates as "nose shit". ^[2]
• For women, not wearing cosmetics or a brassiere may be seen as unprofessional or expressive of disregard for the situation.^[2]
• Though most Japanese are very lenient with foreigners in this regard, it is faux pas to not use polite language and honorifics when speaking in Japanese with someone having a higher social status. The Japanese honorific "san" can be used when speaking English but is never used when referring to one’s self. Japanese place surnames before given names but often reverse the order for the benefit of Westerners.^[2]
• Although people around the world strive not to lose their tempers, expressing outward anger, annoyance or losing one's temper is an especially embarrassing loss of face in Japan. ^[2]
• A smile or laughter from a Japanese person may mean that they are feeling nervous or uncomfortable, and not necessarily happy.
• "Hai" means "yes" in Japanese, but in a meeting or discussion it is often used to mean "Yes, I have heard you". Don't mistake this for agreement with your point of view.
• It is very bad manners to be late in Japan. If you have an appointment then aim to be early because you can almost guarantee that the Japanese person you are meeting will be early.
• It is rude to not send a postcard for Japanese New Year to someone who sent you one. Sending such a postcard to someone who suffered a death in the family during the past year is a faux pas.
• Tipping is considered rude and is rarely done in Japan except in certain cases, such as tipping your surgeon for an operation, when visiting a high class Ryokan, or when dealing with house movers. Consult the locals to be sure what is appropriate. If you can’t be bothered to wait for change, it is okay to tell a taxi driver to keep it. ^[2]
• Cash is a standard gift for weddings and for children at New Year. It is always given in a special envelope or packet (which you can buy at any convenience store). There will be a standard amount to give at a wedding - ask someone else how much to give.
• When beckoning someone with a hand gesture, the hand is held flat with palm down, and fingers flexed toward the ground. To crook one or more fingers in the air is an obscene gesture.
• It is a faux pas to point directly at someone. Instead, extend fingers outward with your palm up (as if carrying a tray) and gesture toward the person.
• If using a toothpick, one should cover the mouth with the other hand. This comes from a Buddhist belief that showing any bone, including teeth, is dirty.

Like many Asian people, Koreans observe points of etiquette related to local forms of Buddhism. Depicted here is one of the National Treasures of South Korea, the magnificent Buddha statue at Seokguram Grotto.

[edit] Korea

• The number 4 is considered unlucky, so gifts should not be given in multiples of 4. Giving 7 of an item is considered lucky.

^[11]

• Blowing one's nose at the table, even if the food is spicy, is mildly offensive. If necessary, take a trip to the toilet or at least be very discreet. ^[1]
• In restaurants and bars, pouring one's own drink is a faux pas. Keep an eye on your neighbors' glasses and fill them if they are empty; they will do the same. To avoid over drinking, simply leave the glass near full. When pouring drinks, hold bottle in right hand, lightly place left hand on forearm near elbow.^[2]
• When someone of a significantly higher social position pours you a drink, it is considered proper to turn away from that person when you drink it.
• Leaving a gratuity is usually not accepted nor expected.
• When handing an item to someone, it is considered rude to only use a single hand. Under most circumstances, especially when interacting with a stranger or a superior, one uses the right hand supported by the left hand.
• [1]A guide to Korean funeral etiquette
• See also Traditional Korean table etiquette.

The Philippines are named for Philip II of Spain and centuries of Spanish rule left an indelible mark on Filipino customs and society. Shown here is the Gate of Fuerza de Santiago in Manila.

[edit] Philippines

Influenced during its history by centuries of Spanish rule and a lively influx of influences from around Japan, China, India, Middle East, and the West, the Philippines has a unique and particularly formal sense of etiquette concerning many matters.

(See also: Table manners#Filipino table manners)

• Filipinos hold gentlemanly etiquette in high regard. For example, in waiting rooms or on buses, men will surrender their seats to the handicapped, the elderly, pregnant women, and women in general.
• Gift giving is important on many occasions such as weddings and birthdays. Coming to a party empty-handed is a faux pas. If a gift is unavailable on short notice, a food item may be brought instead. If invited to a restaurant, do not assume the opportunity to buy the celebrant dinner; bring a gift instead.
• It is considered a great compliment to be offered a room to stay the night in someone's home. Refusing without a good reason is impolite.
• When attending a funeral, avoid wearing loud colors, especially red. Black, white, grays, muted and earth tones are proper colors for funeral attire. Money, flowers or prayer cards are acceptable gifts.
• Good posture is expected at the dinner table.
• Filipinos place importance on proper introductions. Older people are introduced to younger people first. Men are introduced to women first. Introduce a group to an individual first as the individual is not expected to remember all the names at first introduction. Failing to make the proper introductions can be a faux pas.
• Always acknowledge the presence of older people in the room by shaking their hands. If the age difference is great (such as a grandson and a grandparent), or in some cases a religious authority, ask for their hand and bring it to the forehead (this important gesture is called "Mano"). No kiss are involved with this gesture, nor are rules for "clean" and "unclean" hands.
• Waiters usually only come to take the order, refill drinks and bring the bill. Most will not return to ask if anything else is needed but are very attentive and can be easily summoned.
• While splitting bills at restaurants is common among younger people, older adults might consider it a matter of prestige to pay for the bill and will often compete for the honour. Moreover, allowing another to pay the bill without some protest may be a faux pas.
• If someone is buying a meal for someone else, the buyer orders first. For the guest to order something expensive on the menu is considered highly impolite.
• Seeming reluctant to socialize, especially at an event to which one is invited, could be considered offensive. It is proper manners to hide from attention than to directly ask for privacy or personal space.
• Children under one’s care are expected to avoid interjecting into or interrupt adult conversations. One is expected to apologize for any distraction or unruliness on the child's behalf and take appropriate measures, such as taking the child outside for a reminder about expected behavior. This is summed in the phrase "Children are only seen, not heard."
• Children talking back or even raising their voice to their parents in an argument or discussion is considered as highly offensive, disrespectful, even insolent.
• Never address older people at the same level; use the words "tito" ("uncle") or "tita" ("auntie") for relatives of friends but only if they are close or prefer to be addressed in that manner. Mister, Mrs., and Miss will suffice in more formal situations especially if it is only the first introduction.
• When speaking to elders, be very respectful in tone and language, using "opo" (respectful form of "oo", the Filipino word for "yes") and its shortcut "pò" wheresoever required. "Pò", unlike "opo", may be inserted in more places in a sentence (usually Filipino, but sometimes in Englog or Taglish) instead of simply functioning as a reply in the affirmative. Example:

        "Kakain na po tayo." (We are going to eat already.)

The use of these respectful words is sometimes considered to be a fundamental tenet in local etiquette, especially when taught to children, and is also admirable in a child if he/she makes use of this in conversation with adults.

• As much as Filipinos like to make jokes based on Filipino stereotypes and complain about certain aspects of life in the Philippines, it is almost always a faux pas for people of other ethnic groups to engage in these activities.
• Boisterous or loud talking is generally frowned upon.
• Hosts will strive to appear happy and gracious while guests will strive to appear happy and grateful in all situations. Any shortcomings in this regard are seen as bad manners.
• Hosts will invariably lay out a snack for their visitors. Visitors should always accept and consume the snack. Only in certain circumstances is it socially acceptable to decline, i.e., if the guest is allergic.
• While Filipinos use forks, spoons and knives, those utensils are used differently, particularly because rice is a part of most meals. The spoon, held in the right hand, is used to scoop up the food; the fork in the left hand serves as a helper in cutting up the food. Chopsticks are not normally used outside of Chinese and Japanese restaurants.
• The last morsel of food is almost always left on the plate. If someone wants to eat it, he or she should ask if anybody else wants it.
• Though the world community does not remember the administration of Ferdinand Marcos fondly, and Filipinos of most regions also deplore the former president, avoid such comments in the Ilocos region, the Marcoses' home province.
• It is impolite to block the TV when someone is watching. If someone needs to pass in front of the tv, he or she must say "Excuse me" and bend over while passing through.
• In the Philippines, kissing and displaying affection in public is considered rude, especially among the young people.
• While the Philippines is predominantly Roman Catholic, some areas have a Muslim majority and many points of Etiquette in the Middle East can apply.

[edit] Singapore

• Singapore, a former crown colony of the United Kingdom, is the second most densely populated country in the world and possesses the highest standard of living in Asia. Many standards of etiquette in Western societies are in place here as well. ^[12]
• Singapore has a very heterogeneous population with Chinese, Indians and Malays as the largest ethnic groups. As such, many points of etiquette noted above in regard to China, India, Indonesia and Malaysia can apply.

[edit] Thailand

• Touching someone (even a child) with the foot is a taboo as Thai Buddhism considers this an impure region of the body. Pointing with the foot or showing the soles of the feet is strongly discouraged. It is especially important to not to sit with the soles of one’s feet at images of the Buddha.
• Thais regard the head as the highest part of the body, literally and figuratively. Touching someone’s head, even accidentally, requires an immediate apology.
• Thais hold their king in very high regard and any sign of disrespect is a major faux pas. Currency, postage stamps, magazines covers and any other items with the king’s image are never tossed to the ground or treated harshly. Even licking the back of a postage stamp is considered disrespectful. Most especially, these items are never trod upon as it is a sign of utmost disrespect to place one’s foot above the head of the king. Money or other items dropped accidentally should immediately be picked up and reverently brushed. ^[13]
• Kissing in the streets and any public display of affection are considered rude. While many Thais are relatively liberal-minded in matters of sexuality they maintain a strong sense of public decorum.
• When entering a house, stepping on the threshold is a faux pas that conflicts with Thai beliefs about good and bad luck.
• Some parts of Southern Thailand have a large Muslim population making applicable certain points of etiquette in the Middle East. Western etiquette applies among the expatriate communities of Bangkok and Pattaya.

[edit] Turkey

• A small part of Turkey (3%) is in Europe and many points of European etiquette apply. As Turkey has a Muslim majority, points of Etiquette in the Middle East may apply as well.
• Shoes are often taken off in the foyer (not outside the house unless they are especially dirty). Slippers may be offered. It is a faux pas to refuse slippers unless one’s socks are extremely clean and in good condition.
• As beliefs regarding bad luck from open umbrellas indoors are taken serious by some people, close umbrellas before bringing them inside. Some people believe that passing a knife directly to a person is bad luck as well. These beliefs are especially common among the elderly.
• Hosts typically insist that guests keep eating. One needn’t eat much, but should at least taste a bit of everything on the table and express appreciation for the taste and quality.
• Avoid hand gestures with which one is unfamiliar, such as making a fist with the thumb placed between the middle and index fingers. Many of these are offensive.
• Any comment to a person about the appearance of the latter's female relatives or wife might be seen as rude.
• If invited to dinner, one is expected to bring something (usually dessert). Avoid bringing alcohol unless sure that the host partakes.
• Friends might greet each other by shaking hands and touching or kissing the cheeks. This is inappropriate for business.

[edit] Vietnam

Many Asian societies teach children to obey and respect their elders to an extent that is rare in contemporary Western societies. Shown here is a group of children in central Vietnam.

• When going out to eat with other people, it is prestigious to pay for the meal. It is therefore rude to prevent someone from paying if they have made the offer first. The offer can be made as soon as going to a restaurant is discussed or anytime thereafter. On the other hand, inviting others for a meal, drink or event automatically creates the expectation that the one giving the invite will pay for the others. Among younger people, the practice of splitting the bill is increasingly common.
• It is customary to pour alcoholic drinks for others before pouring for one's self. Typically no one imbibes until everyone clinks their glasses together, at which time everyone drinks. This happens throughout the entire drinking session and not just at the beginning.
• Whether the meal table is Western-style with chairs or Vietnamese-style and close to the floor, it is rude to begin eating before inviting others to eat (particularly elders, guests, etc.). Children should always invite adults to begin eating first.
• When children invite adults to begin eating, it should begin with people with a higher prestige in the family. (It goes in order of oldest to youngest, with the male being higher than the female.) For example, the grandfather will be asked, then grandmother, then father, then mother, and then older brothers, followed by older sisters. Younger siblings can be invited, but it is not needed.
• Some Vietnamese meals involve scooping food into lettuce or mustard leaves and similar fresh vegetables at the table rather than employing utensils. Fellow diners will typically enjoy helping newcomers master the technique.
• It is considered impolite to kiss a significant other in front of parents or other elders.

[edit] See also

• Etiquette in Africa
• Etiquette in Australia and New Zealand
• Etiquette in Canada and the United States
• Etiquette in Europe
• Etiquette in Latin America
• Etiquette in the Middle East
• Worldwide etiquette

[edit] References