User:Easybois

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My Book: Easy Bois

Pointless section about myself: As a young man I started to read extensively, often in the fantasy or science fiction genres. These books were read to counter the insufferable bordom associated with growing up in St Albans.

Brief Intro about St Albans: St Albans (or STA as it is referred to by local youths) is well known as the site of the Roman town Verulanium, a site completely ignored by the denizens of St Albans due to the utter pointlessness of them, a fact of life that could be easily remedied; by tearing the useless things to the ground.

Happily twinned to well known towns such as 'Worms' in Germany and 'Fano' in Italy, St Albans also appeared in the book, "Crap Towns: The 50 Worst Places To Live In The UK" as being the 50th worst place to live in the entire UK. A mon avis, a highly justified opinion.

Teaser: This obviously is not true for all ages of people; anyone over the age of 18 can have a reasonable time, due to how St Albans has one of the highest number of pubs per square mile in the UK, though these places are brilliantly unaccessable to persons under the age of 18.

It is a well known fact that bordom causes rebelliousness which in turn leads to crime. Because of this the streets are clogged with youngsters thinking they are 'ghetto' with their latest Nike Air trainers and Schott hoodies, who try their best to make the streets an unpleasant place to take an evening stroll.

Rant: Unfortunately as culling is apparently against the law, these youths must be dealt with differently, which due to the sickening state of our prison system is getting more difficult by the day, even more so as these people (I say people in the loosest sense of the word, other words i would suggest are 'scum' and 'animals') are the sons and daughters of prominent figures of society, such as lawyers and electriciens, who sadly realise their offspring have rights.

Enough of the ranting. I have decided to make this article as a sort of petition, in the hope that some bored politicien will look out of their window and realise these god forsaken people are not lovable and friendly, but need to be removed from society indefinately.

Hypothesis: How to do this, you may ask. (To be brualy honest I can't think of a single reason why you would want to, but it's a good way to get across an opinion) The answer is in my rather consice statement earlier; bordom leads to crime. Remove the bordom and your prayers to a less crowded prison are answered.

If only there was a place where all these fun loving youngsters could 'hang out' with their 'buddies' before they turn into these horrible anti-christs. The answer is right in front of you, thought probably only if you are sitting at a computer in a pub, which is sadly a phenomenon i have yet to encounter.

Yes folks pubs. Non-alcoholic clean pubs, preferably with sky TV and internet access, a place where all kinds of people can relax and watch the football with a cold pint of coke in front of them, and possibly a pool table to one side. But the fact is, this will never happen. Why? Because young people are not nice people, and will either end up vandalising the place for 'lol' or just beating another person sill because they didn't give them money for a coke.

For an adult, alcohol is everywhere, especially in St Albans where it is difficult to find a street without evidence of it, whether it be empty 'White Lightning' bottles left by some poor tramp, a smashed bottle of Stella probably used to hit the drinker's wife with, or a pub on the street corner filled with football hooligan nutters on match night.

But could this image change? I believe it could (probably because im a ridiculously optimistic person as you may have already realised). Oh wait i'm lying; there's nothing better than smacking sum random geeza because he looked at you funny.

This is the overall point of this page. The only reason people are horrible ba**ards is because the only thing stopping us is the rather obselete thinking that there is some sort of higher being up there watching you and considering making you burn in the fiery pits of Hell. This school of thought has been rubbed into the dust, shat on and then shredded completely by scientists, who think it is fun to prove that God could not possibly exist.

With this inhibition gone due to the decline of Christianity in England, youngsters are able to hop, skip and jump over the line between morality and being a dickhead freely, whilst human rights activists chatter on about how prison is too harsh, "I mean i've even heard they don't even have Sky TV in them!" Said Tracy. "Gasp, oh no thats terrible," exclaims Stacy.

This in my rather useless opinion leads on rather well to my next thought, prison. Prison, or rather the pathetic state of the prison system these days. Back in the day something happened which was rather aptly put as 'Fitting the crime to the punishment', the epiphany of crime fighting.

With this, a murderer will know that he faces death for his crime, and this makes him think, "hmmmm is poisoning this geeza whos sleeping with my wife worth dying for..." and you can bet your solid gold button encased in a platinum shell on this making him 9/10 times think "Sod this" and lay down the Amanita phalloides and instead pick up a fat pig with which he could buy a new wife, or even better, two new wives. (Men had it good in those days...)

The same principal applied to theft, with a theif becoming enslaved, fined, or my personal favourite, had a hand removed from his possesion to prevent further offences. If these sort of practices were still in place maybe prospective theives would realise that they could quite easily live without a new TV with Sky, but not without their right hand, especially unambidexterous youths without girlfriends.

So why get rid of such effective crime prevention methods? I mean they didnt exactly run out of prison space in those days did they? Because of these human rights activists again, my favourite people in the whole world. Brief summary of their actions. "Ooo no we cant cut off his hand that'd be barbaric of us. Why not jus put him in prison with a bunch of other nutters so he can pick up lots of new bad habits, and he even gets to keep his hand!" Go jump in front of a charging rhinocerous will you?

Therefore we come to the above stated problem, that our prison system is too full. When will the government realise that instead of just letting prisoners back onto the streets with a lecture and an ASBO, make it clear that the punishment WILL fit the crime.

Nowerdays a murderer will walk out of the courtroom with a 15 year sentence in prison. Not bad really, if we can't still string them up. But no. A prison is more like a 5* hotel than a prison, with many people with a single room, this room with a TV and maybe even Sky.

But wait this in not all. With 'good behaviour' a person can walk free in less than half the allocated time set by the judges hammer and authority. And this means that the price we have put on a human life is what? 7-8 years? Sort. It. Out.

I am sure that a hanging is not a nice thing to watch, or to carry out, but i believe an necessary thing for society. People will watch and think, "God how barbaric", and their children will watch. And maybe next time a 'gangsta rapper' decides to talk really fast about 'busting a cap in some honkey white boi's a'se' those children will decide against dropping out of school and vandalising that car, and instead go on to study law in an atempt to brin the horrendous justice system down.

Oh but what if the person is innocent? What if...? The fact is that the police force are trained to sort out these things, and people must show faith in them. If a person gets framed for a crime, then hat-off to the person who has managed to fool a whole lot of very intelligent people in the police force. The police don't just amble on and look impressive any more, they are highly trained and use sophisticated analyses in order to solve a crime.

Many of you will have heard of the idiom "Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves". Well hese's a new one; "Sort out the punishments and the crimes will sort themselves out".

Now that is my arguement, and to be honest I really don't care if I have or haven't persuaded any of you, seeing as i'm not ever going to meet any of you,and if I do, then I both won't know or care who you are.

And any of you reading this on a stolen computer, SORT IT OUT.

I'm open to any comments or hate mail you may send to me, as they will make good reading, so send it to mywikipediahateletters@hotmail.co.uk, and dont be put off if you're just complimenting my style :)

Easy Bois