Easy-cook rice (joke)

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The stand-up routine known as the Easy Cook Rice Bit (ECRB) is a staple of the comedy night in British pubs. It is a protracted piece of comedy based on a comparison between the ease of cooking easy cook rice and the ease of cooking normal rice - the humour deriving from the very thin distinction between the two.

The routine allows for a great degree of improvisation and - unlike most British stand-up comedy - heckling is welcomed as an integral part of the routine. Anyone performing the ECRB will have informed friends and family in the audience that they are welcome to contribute any knowledge they have of the performer's skill in cooking rice, or any culinary expertise.

The ECRB can vary in length from a simple four-line version...

I saw a packet of easy-cook rice.
When I cook rice, I boil water, and put rice in it.
Which of these have they managed to make easier?
Does the water boil itself, or does the rice jump into the water?

...to a protracted improvisation based on members of the audience, other comedians' material, or topical observations, in which the four lines provide punctuation and give a structure to the act.

The ECRB has never featured on a UK TV comedy show, although many guests have made references to it on panel shows, the references acting as an in-joke to other comedians and those in the know. Those known to have alluded to the bit include Dara Ó Briain, Phil Kay and Greg Neale.