East German jokes

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The jokes of the German Democratic Republic (GDR) frequently included political characters, had an eye towards life in East Germany and the Socialist Unity Party of Germany (SED) (Genossenwitze, party member jokes; Honeckerwitze, jokes about Erich Honecker), or attacked the actual or assumed characteristics of the West Germans.

Comparisons between countries were also common -- for example, between East Germany and West Germany, East Germany and the Soviet Union, between Soviet citizens (Sowjets, Russen) and Americans (Amis), between Communists and capitalists, between Genossen (members of the SED) and other social and professional groups. In particular, Volkspolizei officers were often portrayed as brainless in their respective jokes.

Radio Yerevan jokes were also in circulation, as well as jokes about the Soviets (Russenwitze), Poles (Polenwitze), and the Saxons (Sachsenwitze).

Other, general categories of jokes are also Fritzchen jokes (with an unsuspecting young boy), anti-humor, hunters' Latin and seaman's yarn cock-and-bull stories, scientific humor, and the presumably self-invented, rather than imported from the west Scotsman jokes and East Frisian jokes.

The website devoted to GDR jokes^[1] related to the books by Ingolf Frank have earned multiple German awards (such as "Website of the Week", 100 best Internet Addresses) and positive reviews.^[2]

Contents 1 Ossi-Wessi jokes 2 Examples 2.1 Banana jokes 2.2 Political jokes 2.3 Stasi jokes 2.4 Consumer shortages 2.5 Saxons 2.6 The Trabant (an East German Car) 2.7 West Germans 2.8 East Germans 2.9 Ossi-Wessi jokes 2.10 Honecker jokes 3 See also 4 References 5 Books 6 External links

[edit] Ossi-Wessi jokes

Since 1989, but still before the fall of the Berlin Wall, the humor landscape of east German branched out into jokes about so called Besserwessis (a word-play with "West Germans" and "Besserwisser", annoying "know-it-all" persons from the West who consider themselves and their state as superior) and the Ossi-jokes, which within the GDR were told mostly only by immigrated and still uncautious West Germans.

Some cause for bitter laughter was the bestowal of the name Wendehals (wryneck) to opportunistic people who quickly turned from communists to capitalists during German reunification, continuing to hold their offices or even advancing their career.

A similar, but inverse development could be found in West Germany well before 1989, as former GDR citizens carried the GDR-originating jokes and Besserwessi-jokes into West Germany and told these predominantly among one another, since the West German citizens mostly reacted very peculiarly to the Besserwessi-jokes.

Both types of jokes, the Ossi-jokes and the Besserwessi-jokes, mirrored the considerable inner and outer contradictions and differences between East and West Germany, between East and West Germans, between their mindsets and character, their history and their goals in life, which was also described by the expression Mauer in den Köpfen (wall in the head). They were partly strengthened by the disappearance of the East German state.

Even today, long after 1990, many GDR-originated jokes are still told, especially the Ossi-Wessi jokes. Even old East German jokes about weaknesses of East German society can still sometimes be heard, particularly from critics of East Germany, and they are also sometimes gladly picked up and retold by anticommunists.

[edit] Examples

[edit] Banana jokes

Note: The gag in the following "banana jokes" centers on the fact that bananas were very difficult to acquire in the GDR.

• How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it.
• Two Berliner children spoke to each other over the wall. The little girl in the west says, while eating a banana, "Look - I have a banana." The boy in the East doesn't want to be inferior to her in anything and says, full of pride: "We have socialism." The girl counters: "So, we'll have socialism soon too." The boy, triumphant: "See, then you won't have any bananas anymore either." (According to the Marxist-Leninist theory, socialism "naturally" follows capitalism. This would never have occurred to the two children, however.)
• In the GDR at traffic hubs and in front of supermarkets there are "banana machines". You stick a banana in and five Ostmarks come out!

[edit] Political jokes

• Which three great nations in the world begin with "U"? - USA, USSR, and our (German:unsere) GDR (USA, UdSSR, Unsere DDR). (A play on the way official discourse often used the phrase "our GDR", and also often exaggerated the GDR's world status.)
• The teacher asks in school: "What is the most important thing in socialism?" The students consider and little Fritz (Fritzchen) answers: "The most important thing in socialism is the human!" The teacher: "That is a good answer, Fritzchen. I will give you a B-grade." Fritzchen is dissatisfied and responds emphatically: "Would you maybe give me an A if I told you what the human's name was?"
• The teacher asks: "Fritzchen, why are you always speaking of our Soviet brothers? It's 'Soviet friends'." Fritz responds: "Well, you can pick your friends."
• Honecker meets Mao and asks him: "How many political opponents do you have in China?" Mao: "I estimate about 17 million." Honecker: "Oh, that's pretty much the same here." (The GDR had 17 million inhabitants)

[edit] Stasi jokes

• Honecker and Mielke are discussing their hobbies.
  Honecker: "I collect all the jokes about me that are in circulation."
  Mielke: "Then we have almost the same hobby. I collect those who bring the jokes into circulation."
  (A further version also circulated in which Helmut Schmidt and Honecker conversed.)
• How can you tell that the Stasi has bugged your apartment?
  There's a new cabinet in it.
  (This is an allusion to the underdeveloped state of East German microelectronics.)
• Two Stasi agents are on a surveillance mission and quite bored.
  First agent: "Hey, what are you thinking about?"
  Second agent: "Oh, nothing special. The same as you..."
  First agent: "In that case, you're under arrest!"

[edit] Consumer shortages

• Guest: "A cup of coffee, please!"
  Waiter: "Turkish or filtered?"
  Guest: "Why, filtered, of course."
  Waiter: "Then you'll have to bring your own filter paper for now."
  (This joke satirizes a period when one had to bring his own towel to the hairdresser if he wanted a wet haircut.)
• What's the difference between an HO-sausage and Sputnik?
  They've officially confirmed that Sputnik 2 had a dog in it.
  (HO was the state grocery network; the quality of East German wares left something to be desired.)

[edit] Saxons

These jokes lose most of their humor when translated into English, much as jokes about the speech of US southerners or New Zealanders would when translated into German, since they both rely on quirks of pronunciation or grammar that would be unknown to non-native speakers of the respective languages.

• What was the most-frequently used word at the German-German border? "Goose meat". (Gänsefleisch, sounds like the first three words in Genn' se vleisch mal 'n Gofferraum offmachn?, Können Sie vielleicht mal den Kofferraum aufmachen?, Could you please open the trunk?) in standard German)
• The doorbell rings. The woman goes to the door and shortly comes back startled and turns to her husband, seeking help: "Dieter! There's a man standing outside who only asks 'Tatü tata'" (Tatü tata is onomatopoeia for the sound a police car siren makes). Dieter goes to the door and comes back laughing. "It's my coworker from Saxony, asking "is do Dieta da?" (Ist der Dieter da?, "Is Dieter there?")

[edit] The Trabant (an East German Car)

A good deal of jokes plays on the fact that the car was cheap and devoid of any conveniences.

• How do you double the value of a Trabant? Fill up the tank!
• Sachsenring AG brought out a new Eco-Trabi: Immediately available for delivery, extremely cheap, extremely quiet, extremely environmentally friendly - with electric power train. Small problem: The extension cord is only 20 meters long and not in stock.

Quite a few jokes plays with the widespread urban myth that Trabant's body was made of corrugated/laminated/reinforced/etc. cardboard, i.e., it was a "cardboard car". Of course, this insinuation was propagated by counter-revolutionary forces: in fact Trabant was made of duroplast, a cotton fiber reinforced resin.^[3]

• During a visit to the Leipzig Trade Fair a filthy rich oil sheik heard that there is a car with a delivery time of over ten years. Since Rolls Royce usually delivers more quickly than that, it must be quite an exceptional car, which he would certainly have to have in his collection.
  Sight unseen, he made a request to order this Trabant. In Zwickau they're aware of this great honor, so they immediately change the running Five-Year Plan and bring forward a specimen. In the container, the car reaches the emirate in a handful of weeks. The happy oil sheik immediately called his friends together, opened the container, and exclaimed in surprise: "Gosh, they have incredibly long delivery times, but at least they send you a cardboard model in advance — and the best, you can even drive it!"

[edit] West Germans

• Why are there so many bananas in the west? Answer: Because the westerners are descended from apes.
• What's the difference between a Western necktie and a cow's tail? The cow's tail covers the whole asshole.

[edit] East Germans

• At the peak of the wave of East Germans fleeing through Hungary and Czechoslovakia in 1989, the persons still staying in East Germany (DDR) were called the "Der Dumme Rest" (the dumb remnant).

[edit] Ossi-Wessi jokes

• What do you get when you cross an Ossi with a Wessi? An arrogant unemployed person.

[edit] Honecker jokes

The following joke was featured in the Oscar-winning movie The Lives of Others.

Early in the morning, Honecker arrives at his office and opens his window. He sees the sun and says: "Good morning, dear Sun!"

The sun replies: "Good morning, dear Erich!"

Honecker works, and then at noon he heads to the window and says: "Good afternoon, dear Sun!"

The sun replies: "Good afternoon, dear Erich!"

In the evening, Erich calls it a day, and heads once more to the window, and says: "Good evening, dear Sun!"

The sun is silent.

Honecker says again: "Good evening, dear Sun! What's the matter with you?"

The sun replies: "Kiss my ass. I'm in the West now."

Another Honecker joke in the film, difficult to translate, runs as follows:

"What's the difference between Honecker and a telephone? None! Hang up and try again."

This is a pun with the German words aufhängen, meaning both 'hang up' and 'hang', and neuwählen, meaning both 'dial again' and 'elect another.'

[edit] See also

• German humour

[edit] References

[edit] Books

• Clement de Wroblewsky: Wo wir sind, ist vorn – Der politische Witz in der DDR, Hamburg 1986, ISBN 3-89136-093-2(German)
• Ingolf Franke: Das große DDR-Witz.de Buch, 500 kommentierte DDR-Witze, Forchheim 2002, ISBN 3-937547-00-2 (German) ("The Big Book of Jokes from DDR-Witz.de," 500 commented GDR jokes)
• Ingolf Franke: Das zweite große DDR-Witze.de Buch, weitere 500 kommentierte DDR-Witze, Forchheim 2003, ISBN 3-937547-01-0(German) ("The Second Big Book of Jokes from DDR-Witz.de," other 500 commented GDR jokes)
• John Rodden (2002) "Repainting the Little Red Schoolhouse: A History of Eastern German Education, 1945-1995", ISBN 019511244X, pages 139, 143, 163, 164, 186, 189, 190, 394, 424, 425, 442 (search for "jokes")

[edit] External links

• Collection of GDR jokes at fun.wikicities.com (German)