Earl Pitts (radio character)

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Earl Pitts is a fictional character performed by Gary Burbank, a radio personality from Cincinnati, Ohio.

Pitts, who is almost always referred to as "Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun" (as in "American") is a stereotype of a redneck from the Southern United States. As such, Pitts presents a daily "editorial," which always begins with a bugle call of "Assembly", and the words, "Ya' know what makes me sick?" followed by another line like, "You know what makes me so angry, ah just want to soak mah butt in a bucket of toxic waste?" Pitts then goes off on a rant, either about some cultural topic of the day as seen from a redneck point of view, or an anecdote about his home life or his job at the local tavern. His family and friends — wife Pearl, son Earl Junior, daughter Sandra Dee, and good friend Dub Meeker, among others — figure prominently in many routines. His signature ending lines are "Wake Up, Uhmerika!" and "Ah'm Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun. Pitts off!"

Burbank, whose radio career has taken him from his native Memphis to his 20-year-plus gig working afternoon drive time at WLW-AM in Cincinnati (and briefly in national syndication), began the Pitts character shortly after arriving at WLW. The daily routines became an instant hit, and a few years later Pitts' commentaries were syndicated nationally. Earl Pitts now is heard on about 200 stations and via XM Satellite Radio's WLW simulcast.

Burbank says that Pitts is the longest running syndicated comedy program ever^[1], and in number of episodes, this is probably true. However, Dr. Demento has been on air longer, syndicating since 1974 as opposed to the Pitts monologues dating to the mid-1980s.

Earl's Web site, http://www.earlpitts.us/ (created after a dispute with the original Web site run by a fan at EarlPitts.com), features items for sale including purchase rights to previous monologues. Ostensibly, hearing the program online requires a subscription to the Pitts Web site. However, many stations stream the program at a regular time, and in addition, WFLA in Tampa, Florida offers a daily podcast of the show.^[2]

Despite Burbank's retirement as a host of WLW, he says that the daily Pitts commentaries will continue as usual.

1 Character background
2 See also
3 References
4 External links

[edit] Character background

Very little has been written seriously about Pitts's home and family life; most written references contain little but nonsense. However, Pitts does frequently mention such information in his monologues. He is of indeterminate middle age and has been unhappily married (for a long time, it is presumed) to his wife, Pearl, with whom he has two children: his son, Earl Jr., who is in his early 20s and frequently comes to his father for advice, and his teenage daughter Sandra Dee (named after, but no relation to the actress of the same name), who is noted for her presumed ugliness and is more of a nuisance. Earl is employed as a bartender at the Duck Inn, a local tavern. His experiences and interactions with the bar patrons serve as fodder for many of his monologues.

Earl's hometown is not explicitly stated and is in fact disputed. KERN in Bakersfield, California, a Pitts affiliate, claims Pitts to be from nearby Oildale. Several MySpace profiles attributed to Pitts, however, claim him to be from Water Valley, Mississippi.