Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!
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Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!! (ダウンタウンのガキの使いやあらへんで!! Downtown's "I'm Not An Errand Boy!", alternate translation "Downtown's 'This Is No Job For Kids!!'"?) is a Japanese variety show hosted by the popular Japanese owarai duo, Downtown. This TV program began broadcasting on October 3, 1989, and is a popular comedy show in Japan.
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[edit] Cast
[edit] Regular Cast
- Downtown (Hitoshi Matsumoto (松本人志 Matsumoto Hitoshi?) and Masatoshi Hamada (浜田雅功 Hamada Masatoshi?))
- Hōsei Yamasaki (山崎邦正 Yamasaki Hōsei?) - He has been part of the regular cast since 1995.
- Coq au Rico (Naoki Tanaka (田中直樹 Tanaka Naoki?) and Shōzō Endō (遠藤章造 Endō Shōzō?)) - They have been part of the regular cast since 1997.
[edit] Former Regular Cast
- Jimmy Ōnishi (ジミー 大西) - He left the regular cast in 1996 to pursue a painting career. He has subsequently made several appearance in parody instructional videos that are used in the "No-Laughing" batsu games since 2005. In the videos, he either says or does things that are dumb, usually repeatedly, to make the cast laugh. His most famous appearance is in the English Lesson episode of the "No-Laughing High School" game where he pretended to have difficulties with using basic English.
[edit] Semi-regular Cast
- Kenji Suga (菅 賢治 Suga Kenji) - Chief producer. He often appears in fake posters in the batsu games (see below), and cosplaying.
- Toshihide Saitō (斉藤 敏豪 Saitō Toshihide) - Set design, assistant director. Usually referred to by his nickname, Heipō (ヘイポー). Several sketches and games are based on his inability to stomach scary things (however silly they may be) and his perverted nature.
- Hiroshi Fujiwara (藤原 寛 Fujiwara Hiroshi) - Downtown's former manager. He is often seen cosplaying as a female character.
- Ameagari Kesshitai (Hiroyuki Miyasako (宮迫博之 Miyasako Hiroyuki) and Tōru Hotohara(蛍原徹 Hotohara Tōru)) - A comedy duo that has occasionally joined the regular cast.
- License (Kazuhiro Fujiwara (藤原一裕 Fujiwara Kazuhiro) and Takafumi Eimoto (井本貴史 Eimoto Takafumi)) - A comedy duo that works at the show and has occasionally joined the regular cast. Fujiwara is also known as "Vacuum Fujiwara" because of his eating ability, which is used as a running gag in some skits.
- Itsuji Itao (板尾創路 Itao Itsuji) - A member of the comedy duo 130R.
- Shōhei Shōfukutei (笑福亭笑瓶 Shōfukutei Shōhei) - A rakugo artist. He is also known for the ショウヘイヘイ！(Shōhei-Hey!) phrase said in the police batsu game.
[edit] Other Cast
- Hosshan (ほっしゃん。) - Another comedian that makes appearances during the batsu games. His signature trick is sticking things up his nose and coughing it out through his mouth. This gag consistently makes the cast laugh.
- Itao's Wife - She is a foreigner (possibly Indian, as demonstrated in one episode where Itao is married to her in a fake wedding), and not Itsuji Itao's real wife. She makes appearances horribly dancing along to Madonna or other dance songs and has, as one member of the main cast remarked, "a large repertoire".
- Ayako Nishikawa (西川史子 Nishikawa Ayako) A former Miss Japan who later became a physician. She makes a guest appearance as Heipō's "date," as the medical examiner in the police batsu game, and as the morgue attendant in the hospital batsu game. Her roles tend to be sadistic, often used to great humorous effect.
- Obachan Ichigo and Obachan Nigo (おばちゃん一号 and おばちゃん二号, or literally, Old Lady #1 and Old Lady #2) - Two elderly women who often appear in the batsu games, dressed in strange outfits (on one occasion they dressed as t.A.T.u.) or getting the cast into compromising positions. A running gag is that of cast members being forced to French kiss Obachan Ichigo.
- Konya ga Yamada (今夜が山田 - literally "Tonight Is Yamada!"; Real name: David Hossein) - He is the former manager of Thane Camus. He played a role as a ringside doctor in Dynamite Shikoku's wrestling matches (Dynamite being a character played by Endō). During the "No Laughing" batsu games, he says his name over and over in different variations (sometimes singing it) while the cast try to sleep. ("Kon'ya ga yama da" means "Tonight is crucial" in Japanese, but Yamada intentionally mispronounces it.)
- Chiaki (千秋 Chiaki) - Endō's wife, now ex-wife (they divorced in December of 2007). Chiaki usually appears in the No-Laughing batsu games, doing something cute and attempting to make the cast laugh. Since the batsu games frequently have the cast stuck in a waiting room or hotel room between skits, another running gag involves Endō being tricked into opening a desk drawer and finding several pictures of his wife in it. (In the No-Laughing High School batsu game, a recording of Endō shouting "Chiaki! I love you!" was played twice while the cast attempted to sleep, and Endō's PE shirt had "Chiaki LOVE" written in pink letters on a pink tag in lieu of his name.)
- Takahiro Matsumoto (松本隆博 Matsumoto Takahiro) - Hitoshi Matsumoto's older brother. He makes occasional appearances in the batsu games, sometimes singing and playing guitar. Not to be mistaken for guitarist Takahiro Matsumoto of the popular rock band B'z.
- Hanako (山田花子 Yamada Hanako) - A strange (possibly alcoholic, as she is almost always drunk) girl who often tries to talk to the cast (much to their dismay) during the No-Laughing games. She often lures them into mistakenly talking to her (such as calling them to her bathroom in the No-Laughing High School game or making them open a car, only to find her tied up and gagged in the back seat in the No-Laughing Police Station game) and will latch onto some part of their body when the victim tries to leave. Her years as a comedienne are often used as a running gag whenever she encounters Endō, as she has been in the entertainment business for a longer period of time.
[edit] Segments
[edit] Batsu Games
Probably the best known Gaki episodes are those dealing with batsu games, or punishment games, in which one or more of the cast members participate in after losing bets, major games, or physical challenges.
[edit] No Laughing Games
The premise of each "No Laughing"-punishment game is, members of the cast who were not successful in completing a preliminary trial will be subjected to compromising, absurd, generally ridiculous situations for a long period of time (up to 24-hours, thus far) but must refrain from laughing at any of them. Whenever someone does so, and he is caught by A Watcher, the announcer of the game will declare that person as having just become "out" (アウト or a-u-to in Japanese); immediately afterwards, the appropriate number of "hang-men" will come out to mete the rule breaker's punishment. (To date, this has been executed via single strikes on the buttocks {or somewhere in that area} with a weapon — one which does not change mid-game.)
To keep the Gaki no Tsukai Guys on their toes, there have been occasions where other conditions besides laughing had been set that could make them out, if fulfilled; also, the "victors" of the prelim-trial can make appearances during games to wreak further mischief and potentially cause even more discomfort to the losers.
(All of these games get aired on New Year's Eve as specials, spanning an hour or even longer.)
- No-Laughing Hot Spring Inn (2003)
The first batsu game of this type, it served as the punishment for Matsumoto, Yamasaki, Endō, and Tanaka, for losing to Hamada in a 4 vs. 1 bowling match.
Laughing during this game meant having a dart, from a blow-gun, shot into the buttocks.
Given the newness of the concept, this punishment game was carried out in a somewhat "primitive" way: the Watchers were more lenient with enforcing the rule, and the auto sound blared rough over the sound-system that was set up through the facility.
- No Laughing in Yugawara (2004)
The second spa-themed batsu game, filmed at Yugawara, Kanagawa. Yamasaki, Tanaka, and Hamada were the victims. (This batsu game features Endō's luchador character Dynamite Shikoku.)
- No-Laughing High School (2005)
In this game, the entire cast (except Hamada) is sent to 'high school' for one day. The punishment weapon for this game is the shinai.
The English-lesson portion of this batsu game might be the single best-known Gaki no Tsukai segment outside of Japan, to date.[citation needed] For this lesson, the cast is forced to sit in a pre-designated classroom to watch a mock-educational video, where Jimmy Ōnishi is demonstrating what he had learned thus far, via reading aloud an article about Marco Polo, counting from 1 to 100, and attempting to recite the days of the week. He acted utterly bewildered by the tasks before him, feigning a sizable number of ludicrous mistakes throughout.
Amongst the errors Jimmy committed that had gotten the cast cited for laughing were:
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- repeatedly stumbling on the first three letters of "asked," and also pronouncing those three letters as esk; pronouncing "questions" and "Venice" as lotions and Victor (although it might not sound like it due to the idiosyncrasies of Japanese pronunciation, in conjunction with Jimmy Ōnishi's own thick accent)
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- counting 20 as "ten-ten", 21 as "ten-ten-one", 22 as "ten-ten-two", thirty as "ten-ten-ten", and so on; and then, while using all fingers of both his hands, counting 100 as "ten-ten-ten-ten-ten-ten-ten-ten...ten.....ten"
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- having profound difficulties with properly reciting the English days of the week — at one point having to inform his interviewer (who was off-camera) that in his previous lessons he was never taught anything past a certain day (Monday), to the sole amusement of Yamasaki
- No-Laughing Police Station (2006)
This batsu game premiered as a three-hour special. The players were Yamasaki, Hamada, and Endō. The hang-men (some of them who were black) were especially rough when giving discipline to offenders.
- No-Laughing Hospital (2007)
This time around, all five of the Gaki no Tsukai Guys took a part of this punishment game — and they were forced to cross-dress as nurses for this one. Yamasaki, who really had just gotten out of a hospital after being treated for enteritis, was permitted to take some absences during the game. Sonny Chiba was among the famous guests who performed here. (As a side note: it was during this game that the record for most punishment-strikes inflicted was set, with Mr. Matsumoto having received 258 of them.)
[edit] Other Batsu Games
Haunted Hotel After Matsumoto loses a swimming match against the other four cast members, a batsu game is set at a "haunted hotel" or ryokan, where Matsumoto must remain overnight. He endures ghost apparitions, a seemingly empty-samurai suit that comes alive, and random knocks on walls among other things.
"24-Hour Tag"/Onigokko (鬼ごっこ) A batsu game that took place over the period of 24-hours (on 10-17-99) where all, except Matsumoto, were locked in a sports arena, playing "tag" with various Oni (demons) (who, here,—except for two or three instances {that were on film},—were men dressed in full-body black suits) that were "summoned" to attack at random moments, each with a specific type of punishment written on the suit to be inflicted whenever the victims were tagged. This batsu game is the result of Matsumoto winning the race against the 4 others in "Gaki no tsukai - 4 tai 1 100m sou Taiketsu!"
No-Reaction Pie Hell (ノーリアクションパイ地獄) In this game, Matsumoto is punished for losing a bet with Hamada over the 2002 Japan Series. In their bet, Hamada picked the Yomiuri Giants while Matsumoto picked the Seibu Lions; the Giants won the series four games to none. Matsumoto's punishment was having to spend a day at home while Hamada, Endō, Tanaka and Yamasaki threw pies at him and everything he touched (including a television set and a toaster), non-stop. Matsumoto had to ignore all of this while following prompts from a narrator over the sound-system.
Gakitanic (Gaki no tsukai — Hamada L.A. de Okan to TITANIC!!) Hamada loses a golf challenge against the rest of the cast and must go to Los Angeles with Matsumoto's mother to shoot the love scene from Titanic.
Hama-chan France Evian Trip In July 1993, Hamada lost to Matsumoto in a running-high jump competition and has to go to Évian-les-Bains, France with the crew to get Matsumoto a bottle of Evian mineral water straight from the source.
Hama-chan New York City Mechanical Pencil Trip Hamada loses a bet on which team (Red or White) would win the 1994-95 New Year's Singing Competition and has to go to New York City with Suga Kenji to fetch a mechanical pencil that Matsumoto lent to ex-baseball player Ryuichi Sakamoto.
Matsumoto Family Rangers (Gaki no tsukai - Souchou Matsumoto RENJAI SHOW!!) Matsumoto loses to Hamada in a long-jump segment and has to perform with his father, mother, older sister and brother as a Sentai/Power Ranger team.
Yamazaki's Hitori Bocchino piano concert in "Gaki no tsukai - YAMAZAKI Scalega Tiisai saiban" (which aired, in two parts, on 11-21-99 and 11-28-99), Yamazaki is brought into the Gaki no Tsukai court to stand trial for the scaredy-cat disposition he exhibits during events, games, and with co-workers. He was, of course, convicted, and had to endure the appropriate batsu gemu as a consequence; here, Yamasaki was to go to a Ryokan late at night to play a piano concert without being scared by all the traps that were set-up for him.
[edit] Silent Library
In this segment, the cast and a sixth member, usually Heipo, are in a staged library in which one of them has to undergo a punishment upon choosing the card with the skull and crossbones on it (similar to Russian roulette). Although the game requires that they remain silent during the entire segment, the members repeatedly let out bursts of muffled laughter that is loud enough for the occupants of the library to hear. Former K-1 champion Ernesto Hoost once made a special appearance.
[edit] Chinko Machine
In a segment from the episode "Ōgiri Daigassen", the participants must recite a long, tongue twister-like promotion for the show without stopping or stuttering. If a participant fails, they are attacked by the “chinko machine”, literally the “penis machine”, a catapult-like lever that swings up and hits the participant in the groin. This batsu game was featured on the August 1, 2006 Oddball segment of Countdown with Keith Olbermann as "Reason Number 261 (of 527) why Japanese television is better than ours."
[edit] 7 Henge
Shichi-henge (七変化, literally The Seven Apparitions) is a segment of the show where the cast and crew sit at a table while a comedian attempts to make them laugh. For each round that a person laughs, they must put 1,000 yen into a box; the collected money is donated to a charity of the comedian's choice. A variation on this, "Horror Shichi-henge," involved several members of the cast and crew ambushing Heipō with the intent of causing him to lose his composure and thus be forced to surrender money. Bob Sapp once made a special appearance on this segment in which he collected 53,000 yen.
[edit] Absolutely Tasty Series
This is a series of cooking segments in which the comedians prepare foods, either traditional Japanese dishes like taiyaki and chawanmushi or foods like pizza, with unusual ingredients to use as fillings or flavors, which is eaten later and given a score ranging from two "skull marks" to ten stars. Endo is notorious for using Frisk, a brand of very strong breath mint, in his food. Matsumoto usually introduces very unusual ingredients such as a bear's paw for takikomi gohan, tuna's head for pizza, a dried cobra for nabe, and toothpaste for pasta.
[edit] Kiki Series
This is a series of competitions where each member tastes a randomly selected product, mostly food and drink but once cigarettes, from many different brands blindfolded. After the tasting period, they must find the product they tasted. Anyone who selects correctly will receive a prize money, usually 100,000 yen, otherwise they take a variety of punishments, such as being hit in the groin by a Chinko Machine or getting slapped by a foreigner.
[edit] High Tension Series
[edit] Genkai series
[edit] Yamazaki vs. Moriman
This is a series of comedic fighting bouts between Yamasaki and the female comedian Moriman which parody the popularity of mixed martial arts competitions.
[edit] Five Rangers Game
In this challenge, all five cast members enter separate dressing rooms and each randomly dress as one of the five colors of Gorenjai (sentai characters from Downtown's other show, Downtown no Gottsu Ee Kanji), and they attempt to complete all five different colors in 6 hours. The chance that the five cast members choose all different colors is 120/3125 (3.84%). The challenge is based on the main running gag of the Gorenjai sketches: that the team members couldn't decide who wore which colors.
On occasion, two additional comedians join the regular cast in a Seven Rangers Game, featuring two additional colors (black and white) added to the regular Gorenjai color configuration. The other rules are exactly the same as in a Five Rangers Game.
[edit] Cosplay Bus Tour series
The bus series usually includes the main cast plus some of the producers or guests cosplaying or dressing up in drag and playing mini games in a bus going around popular Tokyo locations. When one of the players loses a mini-game, he is dropped off in a public location and forced to walk back to the studio alone and looking quite absurd. Past cosplays include female anime characters, kogals, SM queens, and Pink Lady (famous Japanese idols) costumes.
A memorable moment was during the Anime Bus Tour when Yamasaki (who was dressed as Arale from Dr. Slump) was dropped off and told to buy take-out spaghetti for the whole cast on his way back. He attempted to walk back without buying any, but on his way, he ran into Miyasako of the comedy duo Ameagari Kesshitai who had also been dropped off (dressed as Kekkō Kamen). They bought the spaghetti together. Upon arriving at the studio, Miyasako revealed Yamasaki tried to return without buying the food. Appalled and outraged, as punishment, Matsumoto ordered him to go buy spaghetti in Italy -- specifically, to the "very tip of its heel," referring to the country's distinct boot shape. A few weeks later, Yamasaki was forced to fly to Lecce, Italy to buy a plate of spaghetti from a restaurant, all while still dressed as Arale.
[edit] Broadcasting TV stations
- Nippon TV, Sapporo TV, Aomori Broadcasting Corp., Miyagi TV, Yamagata Broadcasting Co., Fukushima Central TV, Yamanashi Broadcasting System, TV Niigata, Kitanihon Broadcasting Co., TV Kanazawa, TV Shinshu, Shizuoka Daiichi TV, Nihonkai TV, Yamaguchi Broadcasting Co., Nishinippon Broadcasting Co., Nankai Broadcasting Co., Kochi Broadcasting Co., Nagasaki International TV, Kumamoto Kemmin TV, Kagoshima Yomiuri TV - from 10:56 p.m. until 11:26 p.m. every Sunday (JST)
- Fukuoka Broadcasting Corp. - from 12:50 a.m. until 1:20 a.m. every Saturday (JST)
- Yomiuri TV (Kansai), TV Iwate, Hiroshima TV - from 012:26 a.m. until 12:56 a.m. every Wednesday (JST)
- Akita Broadcasting System, Inc. - from 12:31 a.m. until 1:01 a.m. every Thursday (JST)
- Chukyo TV - from 1:20 a.m. until 1:50 a.m. every Friday (JST)
- Ryukyu Broadcasting Corp. (affiliated with JNN and TBS Network) - from 1:25 a.m. until 1:55 a.m. every Tuesday (JST)
