Talk:Diversity Day

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[edit] Dunder Mifflin

I am going through several articles and changing instances of "Dunder-Mifflin" to "Dunder Mifflin" (no hyphen) as it is the proper "spelling" of the company name (see Talk page at Dunder Mifflin). Just leaving a note to say that I've gone through this page. :) Fieryrogue 23:09, 21 May 2007 (UTC)

[edit] List of expletives

The list of expletives appears to be pure trivia. I see no encyclopedic value to listing all the times a word has been bleeped. For example, there is no corresponding expletives list for the show Arrested Development even though it plays an even more significant role on that show than it does on The Office. Absent object I will remove it. -- Raymondc0 06:28, 27 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Good Article Review

I have reviewed the article and have the following concerns.

  • Lead:
    • The last sentence of the intro has an awkward detachment from the previous sentences, as it switched from in-universe plot retelling to real-world information, without making clear that it refers to the real-world.
Y DoneMastrchf91 (t/c) 22:14, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
  • Plot:
    • Although the characters are linked, it is very hard for someone who is is unfamiliar with the show to get any meaning out of the plot because the characters' role in the show (boss, employee etc.) is not clear in the least (e.g. who is Michael, who is Mr. Brown). I know the show is too complex to do this properly, but even an indication (three words) is helpful for the reader. Unimportant characters don't need to be mentioned at all (Pam?).
    • "wasn't" -> "was not" is better
  • Production:
    • Widmore's full name?
      • It's listed above in both the lead and infobox, thought it shouldn't be repeated.Mastrchf91 (t/c) 22:14, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Who is Daniels (producer etc) and what is his first name (I think he is Greg Daniels, who is only mentioned later in the section)?
      • Fixed it, when I was integrating parts from a previous version of the article, I linked in the wrong place.Mastrchf91 (t/c) 22:14, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
    • "Since then, I've been on the show," needs a direct citation, but I think it can be reworded so that no quote is needed at all
      • Went ahead and removed it, as the next sentence pretty much sums up the same information. Mastrchf91 (t/c) 22:14, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
    • The last two sentences of the Production can easily be merged with the first paragraph (just looks better).
  • Reception:
    • make titles italic per MOS:ITALICS
    • Entertainment Weekly gave the episode positive reviews, stating that "And when it goes broad..." doesn't flow at all
      • Fixed flow. Mastrchf91 (t/c) 22:14, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
    • I think(?) double quotes ("") should be avoided, instead using " and ', but I'd need to read WP:MOS again
      • Fixed it, just added '. Mastrchf91 (t/c) 22:14, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Generally (and I know this would make the reception section shorter), don't use such long quotes, but paraphrase and only quote the juicy bits. A rule of thumb I once read is to never quote more than three sentences, but the article quotes six sentences by Ricky Gervais.
      • I went ahead and deleted the last 3 sentences, as I felt the first 3 were more meaningful. Mastrchf91 (t/c) 22:14, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
  • References:
    • The Chicago Tribune reference is lacking dates etc.
    • I suggest using the {{cite web}} and /or the {{cite news}} template for citations, but this is not strictly necessary.
      • I can change if necessary, but I'm going to keep them how they are for now. Mastrchf91 (t/c) 22:14, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

The article is broad otherwise, the image has a Fair-use rationale, so as soon as my concerns are addressed (either by editing the article or replying why a concern is rather unactionale), I see no reason to not promote this article. Per GAN rules, seven days are an appropirate time to allow for improvements. – sgeureka t•c 10:29, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

The changes were satisfactory, although I still think Widmore's full name should be repeated, e.g. I had already forgotten that he was mentioned in the lead (which is separated from the production section by one other section). But this is a minor issue, potentially just personal preference, so I'll pass anyway. :-) – sgeureka t•c 23:17, 19 February 2008 (UTC)