Divided We Stand

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Divided We Stand
M*A*S*H episode

Henry, Trapper and Hawkeye conspire in the shower
Episode no. Season 2
Episode 1 (25th Overall)
Written by Larry Gelbart
Directed by Jackie Cooper
Guest stars Odessa Cleveland

Herb Voland

Production no. K401
Original airdate September 15, 1973
Episode chronology
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List of M*A*S*H episodes

"Divided We Stand" was the 25th episode of the M*A*S*H television series, and first of season two. The episode aired on September 13 1973.

[edit] Overview

This episode reintroduces the characters as General Clayton, considering breaking up the 4077th, sends Captain Hildebrand, a psychiatrist, to investigate the camp. Henry’s attempts to make everyone get along, and thereby prevent the dissolution of his unit, are met with humorous results.

[edit] Plot Synopsis

The first scene is in General Clayton's office. General Clayton is talking with Captain Hildebrand. Hildebrand is a psychiatrist who General Clayton is sending to the 4077 M*A*S*H unit to assess if the unit is under so much stress that they can not function as a team. He is to recommend if the unit needs to be broken up or remain intact. General Clayton introduces each of the characters to Hildebrand. Though they are in his office the scene is of the 4077. You see samples of Clayton’s descriptions of each member of the team.

He first introduces Lt. Colonel Henry Blake. Henry is not in uniform giving kisses to a nurse and taking non-regulation clothes off a clothesline. Clayton says that Blake is an excellent surgeon and a mediocre leader. His people love him and are loyal to him.

In the next scene Clayton discusses Corporal “Radar” O’Reilly. He says that O’Reilly is a great company clerk but sometimes he wonders if Henry Blake is actually O’Reilly’s clerk. The scene shows O’Reilly giving Blake directions and getting him to sign items without looking at them.

In the next scene Clayton discusses Major Margaret Houlihan. He says that she is an angel of mercy. The scene shows her giving Major Frank Burns a bath. The scene is full of their romantic antics and sweet talk. Clayton says that Burns is a good surgeon but a prude.

In the last set of scenes Clayton introduces Captain Pierce "Hawkeye" and Captain McIntyre “Trapper”. He says that though they are qualified surgeons, they are behaviors are full of childish antics. Separately they are a handful but together they are remarkable pair. The scenes show them playing strip poker and losing, writing new commands for Frank’s bible, making alcoholic drinks.

The scene is now back in General Clayton’s office with the General reviewing the assignment. He wants Captain Hildebrand to find out is the 4077 is under too much pressure to be an effective team.

The next scene is in the operating room with the doctors doing an excellent job of saving lives. Pierce and Blake think they are done for the day and walk out of the tent to find Klinger in a dress with another patient. They do some medical work on the spot and take the man into the operating room.

The next scene is Blake and Captain Hildebrand in Blake's office. Hildebrand is telling him about the assignment. He tells Blake that no one is to know about the assignment. Blake is very upset about the idea of his team being broken up. “We are like a family.” Hildebrand tells him sometimes family need to move on with their own lives. Blake is in bad need of a drink. He offers Hildebrand a brandy but Hildebrand declines. Radar comes in with the drinks. Blake tries to make it seem like drinking is not important to him but the more he talks the deeper he gets into trouble. Klinger walks in Blake's office to give him some x-ray. Klinger is wearing a dress. Blake tries to make it seem like there is nothing wrong. Again the more he talks the worse Hildebrand responds.

The next scene Radar is waking up Hawkeye and Trapper. Radar is carrying is blanket and Teddy Bear. He sends the doctors to the shower to meet with Blake. In the shower Blake tells them about Hildebrand. They promise to be on their best behavior.

The next scene Blake is talking to Margaret and Frank about Hildebrand. Margaret confuses to sending the report to General Clayton. Frank lies and says he did not do it. They agree they do not want the unit broken up because they may be broken up too. They agree to be on their best behavior.

Hildebrand has been following Blake. In this scene you watch him watching Radar and Blake discusses things that need to be fixed quickly to give the right impression.

The trumpet is playing morning reverie. It wakes up the unit. You see them walking to the officers mess hall. Margaret, Frank, Hildebrand, Blake, Hawkeye, and Trapper are eating breakfast. They are trying to be nice to each other but can not help but looked forced. They laugh a lot too late and are snide with each other.

You see Hildebrand observing some normal and poor behaviors. Margaret and Frank have a tryst. Hawkeye and Trapper nail the door shut. Frank and Margaret meet in the women’s shower. You see a male officer leaving the women’s shower carrying his clothes.

In the next scene Hildebrand is giving his report out loud to the officers. He is telling them they are childish and unprofessional. He continues this lecture. As he lectures them, they continue with childish unprofessional behaviors. Radar interrupts them and tells them that there are incoming injured. They race to the operating room and go into action at their best. Hildebrand watches as the team works in a wonderful rhythm together. He starts getting ill at what he sees and retires to the male officers tent. He makes himself a drink. When the General arrives, he finds Hildebrand drunk in the officers’ tent. Hildebrand gives him the following report. The 4077 are in an impossible situation, doing an impossible job, under impossible conditions. He does not recommend breaking up this dysfunctional team.

[edit] Quotes

Captain Hildebrandt: These guys make a gin that could melt your dog tags.


Henry: I figured the shower was the safest place to meet, right? Hawkeye: Absolutely, nobody ever comes in here.


Frank (to Hawkeye and Trapper): You both look more like bums than doctors. Trapper: Actually, I was thinking of becoming a bum doctor, but the proctology class was full.


Henry: Someone has been rat-finking to the general. Frank: I didn't do it. Anyway, it's my duty. (Henry gives Frank and Hot Lips an angry look) Hot Lips: There is nothing wrong with reporting how unmilitary your command is. Henry: Then I have to remind you that if the general splits us up, we all get split up, which means you and doctor Burns will stop practicing medicine together, or whatever it is you do!

Preceded by
"Showtime"
M*A*S*H episodes Succeeded by
"5 O’Clock Charlie"