| Word/Phrase |
Episode |
Description |
| Anti- Dentite |
|
someone who is prejudiced against people of the dental profession |
| Assman |
|
1) a Proctologist 2) a person who displays his/her name on vanity license plates. |
| Bad Breaker-Upper |
|
someone who ends a relationship by saying mean things that people don't generally mean - but means them |
| Ball Man Experiment |
|
when an out of work, good for nothing, and unlikely candidate for a job as a ball man (boy), gets a job as a ball man (boy) at the US Open Tennis Championships (and injures a top-seeded lady tennis player in the process) |
| Beef-A-Reeno |
|
a canned pasta dish (similar to Chef Boy- Ar- Dee) that is bought in large cans from warehouse clubs, and then fed to horses, who in turn emit a foul odor |
| Big Salad (Taking Credit for a) |
|
when a person hands another person a large salad, and takes credit for getting that person a salad, when in reality the person handing over the salad never actually paid for it (someone else did) |
| Big-Toe Captain, The |
|
a failed comic bit about how the big toe is the captain of the other toes on the foot, written by an out-of- work comic wannabe |
| Bipartisan Mirror |
|
a mirror that is situated in a clothing store with the intention of making a customer look better than they actually are, when they are trying on clothes |
| Boombox Incident |
|
when a short, stocky, and balding man takes a teenager's boombox away at the beach for playing it too loudly, and tosses it into the ocean |
| Break-up By Association |
|
what happens when a man and woman break up, and the man's friends no longer associate with the woman |
| Bubble Boy |
|
a boy with an Immune Deficiency Blood disorder who must live inside a plastic bubble to keep him in a germ-free environment |
| Call-Waiting Face Off |
|
when a person has two people on the telephone line via call-waiting, and has to decide which phone call is more important, and which person should clear the line |
| Caught in a Pick at the Light |
|
when a person is waiting in their car at a traffic light and decides to scratch the outside of their nose, where it appears (to their date, who just happens to be in the car or cab next to them) that they are actually picking their nose |
| Cell Phone Walk and Talk |
|
when a person calls to convey their concern (for a friend's sick relative), but callously calls from a cellular phone on the street out of convenience |
| Certifiably Nice |
|
when a person goes to an extreme to be nice to other people (ex. taking members of the older generation to a museum or theater) |
| Chucker |
|
A person who never passes the ball on a basketball court, but always hogs the ball and shoots |
| Cleaner |
|
A person with an extremely voracious appetite who can be depended on to polish off (eat) an enormous amount of unwanted muffin stumps |
| Close Talker |
|
One who speaks to a person at point blank range (usually with both peoples' noses less than a foot away from the other) |
| Coffee Table Book About Coffee Tables |
|
A book that illustrates the coffee tables of famous celebrities and is meant to be kept on one's coffee table, with fold out legs so it can be used as a coffee table |
| Comedians' Revenge |
|
When a comedian, who has been heckled by a member of the audience, takes revenge on that person by going to their place of work and heckles them back |
| Compact jeans |
|
denim jeans designed for petite figures ("Only people with small rear ends should be allowed to wear compact jeans", according to a certain warped stand-up comedian) |
| Covenant of the Keys |
|
when a neighbor is entrusted with a set of keys in case one gets locked out of their apartment. The covenant provides the following ;
1) thou shalt not use the keys to obtain food from thy neighbors' refrigerator 2) thou shalt not use thy neighbors' bathroom unless first asking permission (even if yours is broken) 3) thou definitely shalt not be in thy neighbors' apartment when said neighbor is bringing home a date 4) if thy covenant is broken, then the offending party must pack up his/her belongings and move to California where he/she will probably end up being accused of murder (see The Ten Commandments )
|
| Curse Toast |
|
When a petty, stupid person gives a best man's toast and inundates it with vile curse words, prompting the schmuck to be thrown out of the reception by the bride's father |
| A Date Implied |
|
When a man/woman knows that it is a given that he/she has a definite date (without having to ask) on a certain day of the week with the person that he/she is seeing |
| Dating Loophole |
|
1) when a man intentionally loses a dinner bet to a woman so that he can avoid actually asking her out on a date (this way he can avoid possibly being rejected) 2) any time a man takes a woman out to dinner and/or a movie without formally asking her for a date |
| Deaf Date |
|
When one person is fixed up with another person, has seen that person's picture, but has never spoken to him/her |
| Deep Fried in Chocolate Sauce |
|
A figure of speech to use when accusing someone of collaborating with someone else who appears to have a grudge against a fast food restaurant, but secretly likes their food (grammatical ex. "You wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce") |
| Degift |
|
To take back a gift that was previously given to someone (such as Super Bowl tickets), i.e. an Indian giver |
| Delicate Genius |
|
1) a highly touted professional (such as a doctor or lawyer) who would not think of talking business outside of business hours 2) a doctor who would charge a patient for a visit if they did not show up (and did not call to cancel), yet would not think twice about going skiing on a day that that doctor had a full schedule of appointments |
| Double Dipping |
|
A person dips a snack chip into a dip, takes a bite, and then dips again with the same bitten chip ("it's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip!!!") |
| The Dry Cleaner's Code |
|
A code of ethics that a dry cleaning proprietor must followincluding not wearing a customer's clothing (e.g. sport jackets and fur coats) out on the town |
| The Executive |
|
A beltless and loopless trenchcoat or raincoat |
| Face Painter |
The face painter |
An avid sports fan that paints his face to "support the team." David Puddy, an avid New Jersey Devil's fan, scared the wits out of a priest and shouted "Go Devils" in the street. |
| Femininas |
|
Term for beautiful women at the beach who are condom worthy (the opposite of sponge worthy) |
| Festivus |
|
A made up holiday. |
| Flagged object |
|
Usually an expensive book that cannot be returned or offered for charity because it was read in the bathroom while performing number two. |
| Forbidden City |
|
A place where attractive women hang out |
| Fudge Distribution |
|
the idea that one should eat a sundae from the bottom up (knowing full well that the fudge drips to the bottom), so that there is an even amount of fudge and ice cream eaten in every bite |
| Fusilli Jerry |
The Fusilli Jerry |
A model of comedian Jerry Seinfeld made out of Fusilli pasta. A Proctologist is needed to remove from one's rear end. |
| Germophobe |
|
A person who is very weary of other people's germs, and is very fanatical about it (especially against people who sleep around, rub certain body parts against computer keyboards, or prepare dinner while simultaneously taking a shower) |
| Get Out! |
|
What a woman might say to her friends in complete surprise (while at the same time shoving them backwards) |
| Giddy-Up |
|
What a cowboy would say to a horse to get it to start walking, alternatively what a tall lankey doofus might say when excited instead of "All Right". |
| Grace |
|
A certain nice quality about a person, much like Jackie Onassis or what to tell an employee that they have in order to get them to do menial labor (such as sharpening pencils, getting their mail, or getting them cotton socks) |
| Hand Fruit |
|
A type of fruit which is normally eaten out of a person's hand, such as; apples, pears, Hampton Tomatoes, or onions (for people who are nearsighted) |
| Having Hand |
|
Having the upper hand in a relationship. The opposite of needing your hand - when you don't have any relationship. |
| Head-First Parker |
|
1) a person who tries to pull into a parking space head first as opposed to backing into the space, possyibly with the intention of screwing someone else out of the space. |
| Hello Newman |
|
a typical greeting to a pudgy and extremely irritating person for whom one really does not want to talk to |
| High Talker |
|
A man with a very high voice and may give the impression of being a woman over the telephone |
| Hipster Doofus |
|
A tall, lanky, goofball who suggests to his friends that they should park in a handicap spot, knowing full well that it is wrong. The same goofball who is dumped by a handicapped woman for being (you guessed it) a Hipster Doofus . |
| "I think it moved" |
|
1) what a man (who has doubts about his sexuality) might say after reluctantly getting a massage from another man, and after the masseuse accidentally touches the private area 2) what a short bald man may say after eating fresh food. |
| "It Didn't Take" |
|
a twerpy man's explanation for his ex-girlfriend's short-lived experimentation with lesbianism that he drove her to |
| The It-Girl |
|
the girl/woman in school that everyone wants to date |
| It's Not You, It's Me |
|
what a grown man, who is unemployed and living with his parents, would say to his girlfriend if she ever wondered where she (or their relationship) went wrong |
| Jerk Store |
The Comeback |
A phrase that is used as part of a put-down by a naive person who can't think of any better put-downs to use (ex. "The Jerk Store called, and they said that they ran out of you") |
| Jimmy Legs (or Arms) |
|
What someone has when he thrash about in bed and strike his sleeping partner, causing the couple to separate into twin beds (see "I Love Lucy") |
| The Kavorka |
|
A Latvian Orthodox phrase which means "the lure of the animal", which usually can be cured with a garlic necklace |
| Key Brothers |
|
Friends who exchange each others' apartment or house keys, with the provisal that they follow the key covenant (see Covenant of the Keys) |
| Kibosh |
|
1) when someone (wearing a motorcycle helmet, no less) gets karate-kicked in the head by a crazed individual 2) when three thugs get the crap beaten out of them for picking a fight with a crazed individual, who is dressed like a clown and headed to the opera "Pagliacci" |
| Kiss Hello |
|
a very annoying habit that some people have of kissing a person as part of an informal hello greeting (especially women with funny looking hairdos) |
| Latvian Orthodox |
|
1) a Protestant branch of Christianity where the congregation is predominantly of Latvian descent 2) a religion in which the priest or minister wears a funny trapezoidal shaped hat on his/her head during a service 3) a religion in which they ask people to wear garlic necklaces to make themselves unattractive to clergy people of the Latvian Orthodox |
| The Leave Behind |
|
when an unattractive, confidence-lacking man, leaves something behind at his date's house, hoping that he'll have a reason to go back to her house and ask for another date |
| Level Jumping (on a friendship) |
|
when casual acquaintances attempt to become better friends with certain acquaintances (ex. asking an acquaintance to be a godparent to one's child/children) |
| Library Cop |
|
a gung ho, hardened former police officer who is deputized as a library law enforcer by the NY Public Library, and chases down library delinquents (especially if their book was overdue in excess of 20 years) |
| Little Kicks |
|
A horrendous dance performed by a seemingly attractive woman, in which she completely turns off coworkers and friends alike |
| Look to the Cookie |
|
the theory that a black and white cookie could create racial harmony among the different races in the human race |
| Low Talker |
|
1) A woman who speaks in a very low (sometimes sub-sonic) voice 2) a woman who speaks in a low, inaudible tone in order to trick some-body into wearing a funny looking shirt on a nationally televised talk show |
| Macaroni Midler |
|
A figurine of Bette Midler made out of wavy macaroni (similar to "Fusilli Jerry") |
| Magic Loogie |
|
when someone spits at someone else in contempt, and the following happens; the spit hits the first person, then makes a right turn in midair (mind you) and hits a second person in the shoulder, causing him/her to drop their baseball cap |
| Man hands |
|
1) A very attractive woman who has very masculine hands 2) a woman who possesses brute strength in her hands so she can break open a lobster barehanded, or break a man's wrist for going into her pocketbook |
| Manziere |
|
A bra created for older men who have excess flab in the upper chest area and give the appearance of having breasts |
| Massage Tease |
|
a masseuse who refuses to give massages to their boyfriend/girlfriend, yet would not think twice about having sex with them or giving massages to strangers |
| Matzo Ball |
|
1) a dumpling made out of matzo meal that is served in chicken soup for Passover 2) what a person feels like after saying "I Love You" to another person and not getting the "I Love You" Return |
| Mimbo |
|
1) a male bimbo 2) an Italian stud who has bad luck rock climbing |
| Moops |
|
the name of the ethnic group of people who invaded Spain in the 8th century, according to a Trivial Pursuit misprint (they are called "Moors" according to Webster's Dictionary) |
| Moses Smell the Roses |
|
an exclamation that someone makes when they witness a person about to shave with butter, and then proceeds to sunbathe in it as well |
| Mulva |
|
what to call your current girlfriend if you can't remember her name |
| Must- Lie Situation |
|
when a person feels that they cannot tell the truth to someone else for fear of offending them (ex #1 calling one's baby "Breathtaking", ex #2 not being able to tell someone that their hairdo is pre-1960's or just plain hideous) |
| Nip |
|
a nickname given to a woman who has Christmas cards with her picture printed up, but doesn't realize that one of her nipples is exposed in the picture |
| Non-Pony Country |
|
1) a country where people in general do not own ponies 2) a country where young whipper-snappers insult elderly people who previously owned a pony as a child |
| Non-Sexual Crush |
|
when a non-cool person has platonic infatuation for a cool person (usually a stud) of the same sex |
| "Not that there's anything wrong with it" |
|
a phrase that people usually say about homosexuality, after denying that they themselves are homosexuals |
| Opening the Vault |
|
1) telling someone someone else's secret 2) spilling the beans |
| Pig-Man |
|
1) half man, half pig 2) a short bald mental patient with a pinkish complexion (ex. Elmer Fudd), who tends to grunt or squeal alot |
| Pimple Popper, M.D. |
|
a putdown for a Dermatologist who gives the illusion that he/she actually saves lives |
| Pre-Emptive Break-up |
|
when a man anticipates that his girlfriend is going to break up with him, so he breaks up with her first (so that he can have hand) |
| Pretend Marriage |
|
when a man and a woman pretend that they are married in order to get discounts on their dry cleaning |
| Public Fornicator |
|
a porno actor/actress, who sometimes goes by the name Buck Naked |
| Puffy Shirt, The |
|
1) a funny looking white shirt with ruffles in the front, and puffy looking long sleeves, similar to what pirates would wear 2) what to wear when being a guest on a TV talk show |
| Put In, The |
|
the length of time one has to keep up a relationship after a sexual liaison |
| Putting Something in the Vault |
|
promising someone to keep something a secret |
| Red Dot |
|
1) a blemish on a cashmere sweater to indicate that the sweater has been marked down due to irregularities 2) the same sweater given as a gift from a cheapskate (or someone who is out of work ) in order to save money |
| Regift |
|
the act of receiving a gift from someone, and then giving it to someone else (as in recycling a gift) |
| Resolved of it's own momentum (or volition) |
|
when a trivial conversation (usually about toilet stalls) carries on to its entirety, without being interrupted by a domineering fiancee |
| Relationship Killer |
|
an adjective which describes what happens to a relationship when a man and a woman go away for a weekend together |
| Ribbon Bully |
|
a volunteer at a walkathon who ridicules people who participate in the walkathon, but refuse to wear ribbons that identify them as walkathon participants |
| Ridicurous |
|
what a person of Oriental descent (or a person with an Oriental sounding last name) might say about something that is ludicrous (grammatical ex. "The whole thing sounds ridicurous") |
| Shicksappeal |
|
a female person not of the Jewish faith, who is found to be attractive to Jewish males, especially horny teenagers who had just been Bar-Mitzvahed |
| Shmoopie |
|
1) a term of endearment between a couple that is very annoying to their friends 2) a term of endearment that a man uses on a woman, before he dumps her for the Soup Nazi |
| Showcasing One's Non-Date Personality |
|
1) when a person sets up a double-date in order that their date can get a general idea of their normal personality when not on a date 2) when a man on a double-date goes out of his way to be liked by the other woman in the double-date |
| Shrinkage |
|
1) what happens to a man's genitalia after being in contact with water (especially cold water) 2) what to tell a woman who mistakenly sees a man's genitalia in the shrunken stage, and finds it humorous |
| Sidler |
|
a person who always seems to suddenly appear at another person's side |
| Slip One Past the Goalie |
|
the act of impregnating a woman |
| Soup Nazi |
|
1) a take-out soup restaurant that serves many varieties of soup, but only soup 2) a temperamental foreigner who owns a soup restaurant, and either refuses to serve a customer or throws him/her out of the restaurant for the slightest little annoyance |
| Spare a Square (Can You) |
|
what to ask a person if one happens to be in a public bathroom stall and runs out of toilet paper (grammatical ex. "Excuse me, but can you spare a square? No?!? Well then, how about a ply?") |
| Stab Worthy |
|
a man that routinely gets involved in bad relationship break-ups, and gets physically injured in the process, due to his below-the-belt insults Step off - 1) what to say to someone as opposed to telling them to either "Get lost", "Beat it", or "Hit the road" 2) what an Italian macho stud might say to a former bald-headed friend who didn't secure a rope while they were rock-climbing (and the Italian macho stud broke his nose) |
| Stopping Short |
|
the act of slamming hard on an automobile's brake pedal, and at the same time reaching over and putting one's arm in front of the front seat passenger as a means of protecting them from hitting the dash board (and gaining sexual gratification from the experience) |
| Super Bowl Sex Romp |
|
the idea of taking a woman out of town to see the Super Bowl with the predetermined notion of getting her into the sack |
| Svenjolly |
|
what a mixed-up woman might accidentally call her psychiatrist-boyfriend if he were to have a mental hold over her (according to Webster's dictionary, the word is really "Svengali") |
| Sweet Fancy Moses |
|
an exclamation that someone makes when they watch a terrible dancer, especially a dancer that uses spastic "Little Kicks" |
| Switch, The |
|
when a man dates a woman, then switches to dating her roommate because the 1st woman never laughs, while the 2nd one does |
| There's a clock over there |
|
What a lazy, anti-social person would say to a stranger who asks for the time, knowing full well that the person being asked has a watch on their wrist |
| "These pretzels are making me thirsty" |
|
a tall, Hipster Doofus's only line in a Woody Allen movie |
| A Show About Nothing |
|
a silly, sometimes non-sensical situation comedy about the mundane lives of a stand-up comic and his three goofy friends |
| Uromysitisis poisoning |
|
a fictitious ailment that someone invents as an explanation as to why they urinated in public |
| Vandalay Industries |
|
1) a fictitious company which manufactures latex 2) a company which is made up by someone who is out of work and is trying to convince the Department of Unemployment that he/she is being considered for a job with the fictitious company to keep up his/her unemployment benefits |
| Vegetable Lasagna |
|
An airplane passenger (who happens to be a very dull person) who gets caught in the middle of a petty couple who constantly fight |
| Vertical Leap Training Shoes |
|
1) a specially designed athletic shoe made to promote higher leaps from an athlete 2) a silly looking sneaker which looks like a Ping Pong racquet was glued to the bottom of it 3) an athletic shoe which causes a person to appear to be handicapped |
| Vomit streak |
|
when a person has not vomited in a long period of time (such as ten years or longer) |
| War, What is it Good For? |
|
supposedly what author Leo Tolstoy was originally going to name his book "War and Peace" (but didn't at his wife's urging) |
| World Theory, The |
|
the idea that two worlds would collide together when a woman in a relationship starts hanging out with the friends of her boyfriend |
| Yada, Yada, Yada |
|
what a person might say, mid-sentence, to shorten a story to get to the point of a discussion or to hide any incriminating activities |
| Character |
Portrayed by |
Description |
Episode |
| Alton Benes |
Lawrence Tierney |
Elaine's hard-nosed father. |
"The Jacket" |
| Artie Levine |
Ron Steelman |
Jerry's cousin who prefers his last name be pronounced Le-vine not Le-veen. |
| Ben Cantwell |
Robert Donley |
The man George is assigned to visit. |
"The Old Man" |
| Betsy |
Megan Mullally |
George is dating her, and attempts to advance their relationship by accompanying her to her aunt's funeral in Detroit. |
"The Implant" |
| Brody |
|
Kramer's movie pirater friend, packs a gun, eats too much candy. |
"The Little Kicks" |
| Meryl |
Courteney Cox |
Jerry's pretend wife. She is doing this to mooch off Jerry's discount at the dry cleaners. |
"The Wife" |
| Magnus aka Vegetable Lasagna |
|
Norwegian guy, who sits in the plane seat next to Elaine and Puddy and has to put up with incessant fighting. Named after his meal selection on the plane, even though he insists to be called by his real name. |
"The Butter Shave" |
| Miss Rhode Island |
Karen Ann Hanson |
Jerry dates her and accidentally kills her doves, forcing her to sing instead for the talent contest under Kramer's tutelage, which she does horribly. |
"The Chaperone" |
| Little Jerry Seinfeld |
|
Kramer's rooster, which Kramer enters into a cockfight at Marceleno's bodega. |
"The Little Jerry". |
| Henry Atkins, Postmaster General |
Wilford Brimley |
He makes it clear to Kramer that he cannot refuse postal mail. He sits on the desk and interrogates Kramer in a parody of his role as Assistant Attorney General in the climax of Absence of Malice, in which he did the same to Paul Newman. |
"The Junk Mail" |
| John Grossbard |
|
Kramer runs into this old debtor—a former roommate to whom he lent money—at an airport and tries to collect the money owed. When Kramer realizes that Jerry's flight has been redirected providing the opportunity to again confront his former roommate, he says, "listen to the bell Grossbard. It tolls for thee." |
"The Airport" |
| John Germaine |
Jeff Yagher |
A jazz musician Elaine dates who eventually loses his musical prowess after having done "everything" with Elaine. |
"The Rye" |
| Smuckers |
|
Kramer's distrust of doctors leads him to use this dog to get medication from a veterinarian for his own cough. Kramer "We share the same affliction." |
"The Andrea Doria" |
| Farfel |
|
A dog that Jerry is stuck taking care of when the owner sitting next to him on the plane has to be rushed to the hospital; barks incessantly. |
"The Dog" |
| Rusty |
|
Horse that Kramer feeds Beef-A-Reeno to shortly before taking Susan's parents on a Hansom cab ride. Due to the horse's flatulance from the Beef-A-Reeno, the ride is cut short. |
"The Rye" |
| Milos |
Mark Harelik |
An incompetent tennis pro who sells Jerry a $200 tennis racket, offers his wife to Jerry, and asks Jerry to take a dive in a tennis game to make himself look like the better player. |
"The Comeback" |
| Donna Chang |
|
Caucasian woman who people think is Chinese, originally named Changstein. |
"The Chinese Woman" |
| Jean-Paul Jean-Paul |
|
A NYC Marathon runner from Trinidad and Tobago whose life is made miserable by Jerry. |
"The Hot Tub" |
| Frank Costanza's Lawyer |
Larry David |
He doesn't follow trends and wears a cape. He stops Noreen from committing suicide. |
"The Chinese Woman" |
| Pam |
Kim Myers |
Jerry's girlfriend that Kramer falls in love with. |
"The Soul Mate" |
| The Doorman |
Larry Miller |
An arrogant doorman of Mr. Pitt's apartment building tricks Jerry into watching the door for him. He berated Jerry for looking down at him because he was a doorman, even though Jerry wasn't. |
"The Doorman" |
| Stan, the Caddy |
Armin Shimerman |
Kramer's Senior Tour golf trainer who missed the cut in the trial of Sue Ellen Mischke. |
"The Caddy" |
| Fragile Frankie Merman |
|
Jerry's friend from summer camp, a.k.a. the "summer George". He is known for running into the woods whenever he's upset. |
"The Junk Mail" |
| Ned Isakoff |
|
Elaine's very well-read (or well-Red), communist boyfriend, whom she got blacklisted from the Chinese restaurant Hop Sing's by "naming names". Isakoff is also indirectly responsible for causing George to date a woman who posted an ad in the Daily Worker (a communist newspaper), and for nearly turning Kramer into a communist and encouraging him to quit his department store Santa job with Mickey. |
"The Race" |
| Sharon |
Paula Marshall |
The NYU reporter who writes a story about Jerry and George being gay. "Not that there is anything wrong with that..." |
"The Outing" |
| Kevin, Gene, Feldman, and Vargas |
|
The Bizarro Jerry, George, Kramer, and Newman.[1] |
"The Bizarro Jerry" |
| Geoffrey Harharwood |
|
The assistant wardrobe man on Spartacus. He assists in the revitalization of the Alex Theatre and has an unusual fascination with buttons. |
"The Gum" |
| Sheila |
Alexandra Wentworth |
Jerry's girlfriend, calls him "Shmoopie" as a term of endearment (as he does with her) and is overly affectionate in public, which embarrasses his friends. Jerry pretends he doesn't know her when she screws up the protocol for ordering soup and is refused service. |
"The Soup Nazi" |
| The Pig-Man |
|
While in the hospital, Kramer is snooping around and comes across what he thinks is the result of a government experiment a half pig, half man. In reality, just a "fat little mental patient". |
"The Bris" |
| Members of the Houston Astros front office |
|
George has a meeting with the Astros about the possibility of interleague play. They always call everyone a "bastard" or "son of a bitch" (George finds out "that's how they talk in the major leagues"). Those terms get George and Jean-Paul in trouble Jean-Paul gets kicked out of Elaine's apartment, where he had plans to stay before the New York City Marathon, and Wilhelm catches George yelling into the phone while the Astros front office men are calling from their plane. |
"The Hot Tub" |
| Members of the New York Mets front office |
|
In a meeting, the Mets make an offer to George for a vacant front office position at Shea Stadium. But in order for the Mets to hire George, they allude to the catch, without actually telling him ("We didn't say that"). He has to get fired from the Yankees first. In the end, however, despite George's valiant attempts to make Steinbrenner fire him (The Boss eventually is ready to fire George, but just as he is about to do it Wilhelm walks in and tells Steinbrenner that he made George do those things. Wilhelm is trying to get fired to get the Mets job as well), Mr. Wilhelm gets hired by the Mets instead. |
"The Millennium" |
| Dr Cooperman aka The Assman |
|
A proctologist who has his vanity license plates issued to Kramer by mistake. It is discovered, when Jerry and Kramer visit the doctor's office, that the real Assman has a practice there. Kramer finds a picture of his boat, with "Assman" written on the side. When asked by Kramer if the doctor is indeed the Assman, the doctor gives a 'knowing' wink. |
"The Fusilli Jerry" |
| Denim Vest |
Kevin McDonald |
A character named after his questionable taste in fashion. Elaine's network of fake phone numbers (one of them H&H Bagels) comes undone due to Denim Vest. |
"The Strike" |
| Shakey the Mohel |
|
circumcises Jerry's finger during a bris. The mohel blames Jerry for the accident, claiming he flinched. Jerry later derisively refers to him as "Shakey the Mohel" and claims that the mohel got his mohel license from a matchbook. |
"The Bris" |
| Manya |
|
A relative of Jerry's who dies shortly after Jerry makes a disparaging comment about people who owned ponies as a child; she states that she owned a pony as a child in Poland before immigrating to America. |
"The Pony Remark" |
| Uncle Mac |
|
Jerry's uncle who was writing an autobiography based on all his experiences. |
"The Stakeout" |
| The Mechanic |
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George accuses a mechanic at David Puddy's Saab dealership of stealing his Twix. He says he probably has a short, mono-syllabic name. |
"The Dealership" |
| Tor Eckman |
Stephen Tobolowsky |
A holistic healer who turns George's complexion purple instead of healing his tonsilitis. |
"The Heart Attack" |
| Jimmy |
Anthony Starke |
Constantly refers to himself in the third person (an illeist) "Jimmy is down!" Holds a grudge against Kramer for spilling water on the floor, causing him to slip and hurt himself. |
"The Jimmy" |
| Jason "Stanky" Hanky |
|
A recovering substance abuser, who refuses to apologize to George during step 9 of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program. Hanky claims that George would have stretched out the neckhole of Hanky's sweater with George's unusually bulbous head. Played by James Spader. |
"The Apology" |
| Melissa |
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Jerry's girlfriend who likes to always be naked while in his apartment, until he does the same and proposes to do some nude belt-sanding ("This isn't good naked"). |
"The Apology" |
| Joel Rifkin |
|
Elaine's Boyfriend who has the same name as infamous serial killer (in real life) Joel Rifkin and Elaine tried to get him to change his name.("Elaine, I was adopted"). Out of frustration of Elaine's incessant suggestions of bad names, Rifkin moves towards her as though wanting to choke her, but then turns away. |
"The Masseuse" |
| Raymond |
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A male masseuse (masseur) who causes George to become extremely uncomfortable and to question his own sexuality. (George: "I think it moved.") |
"The Note" |
| Roy the Dentist |
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A friend of Jerry's who agrees to write notes stating that Jerry, George, and Elaine need massages due to dental problems so that they can be reimbursed for treatment. He is later charged with insurance fraud, but remains friendly to Jerry. |
"The Note" |
| The Maître'd |
James Hong |
In a Chinese restaurant, the maître'd keeps Jerry, Elaine, and George waiting for a table for almost the whole episode. After the three finally leave in disgust, he looks up, grins, and cries out, "Seinfeld...four!" |
"The Chinese Restaurant" |
| Darryl |
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Elaine's "interracial" boyfriend who ultimately turns out to be caucasian; (Darryl to Elaine: "So, we're just a couple of boring white people?)" |
"The Wizard" |
| Evie |
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The cleaning lady that George has sex with on his desk. |
"The Red Dot" |
| Sylvio |
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The super of Jerry, Kramer, and Newman's building. He has an obvious grudge against Newman and tries to evict Newman from the building for reversing his peephole, but Kramer convinces him not to. Later in that episode it is found out that Newman is having an affair with his wife. |
|
| Ralph |
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Kessler/Kramer's dog. The "Notes About Nothing" feature on the DVD of this episode says that his dog is named Ralph. |
"The Seinfeld Chronicles" |
| Phil |
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In one episode of season 9, Phil lives next door to Jerry and Kramer. Phil quickly dislikes Jerry because of the incident where Jerry doesn't let him into the apartment, for fear of robberies. Phil blames Jerry for the death of his parrot. |
"The Strongbox" |
| Claire the Waitress |
Lee Garlington |
In the pilot episode, Claire was the female regular character; however, she was replaced by Elaine in all subsequent episodes. |
|
| Carl Farbman |
|
Furniture designer |
"The Checks " |
| Jack The Wiz |
Toby Huss |
Jack The Wiz is the spokesman for Nobody Beats the Wiz, chanting "Nobody beats me, because I'm the Wiz! I'm the Wiz!" |
"The Junk Mail" |
| Eddie Sherman |
Ned Bellamy |
With Elaine, and a little tweaking, turned out one hell of a J. Peterman-catalogue. |
"The Fatigues" |
