Dennis Finch
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| Dennis Finch | |
|---|---|
| First appearance | Back Issues |
| Last appearance | Future Issues |
| Portrayed by | David Spade |
| Episode count | 148 (last episode) |
| Information | |
| Gender | Male |
| Family | Fantasia Olympia Finch (mother) Red Finch (father) |
Dennis Quimby Finch (born in Albany, New York) is a fictional character on the popular US television sitcom Just Shoot Me! (1997-2003), played by David Spade.
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[edit] History
Born in Albany, New York, Dennis attended Hudson River Junior College where he joined the cheerleading team. Some people think Dennis is gay, but he is definitely not. Dennis loves to fantasize about beautiful models, watches porn films and likes to cuddle after sex. In general, Finch has been described as “a self-centered horny pig who’d stop at nothing to get laid.”
Surreptitiously, Dennis writes articles for the “Dear Miss Pretty” advice column. Dennis also likes to collect action figures and ceramic kittens. He lives in an apartment, number 803, in New York City, NY (Manhattan). He is also known to have a fear of owls from his mother's side. He works as the executive assistant of Jack Gallo, the owner of the magazine Blush.
[edit] Personal life and love matters
When it comes to love, Dennis had his share of romantic ups and downs. He manipulated an insecure, neurotic, vulnerable supermodel named Adrienne Barker to the altar when she was feeling down about her body and career. But, their marriage eventually floundered when Finch and Adrienne realized they are very different from one another and that the INS suspected Adrienne (a Canadian) had married Finch to keep her citizenship when her visa expired. In the end, Finch and Adrienne (who both admitted to being sex-addicts) departed friends. To keep his libido in condition, Dennis lusted after a new employee named Vicki Costa who was recently hired by Jack Gallo. And then Dennis dated a cover model called Kelly who turned out to be a lesbian and who thought Dennis was a woman. Throughout it all, Dennis never tired of propositioning Maya Gallo to sleep with him or, at the very least, let him take a peek at her private parts. Once when an angry Maya told Finch to "Bite Me!" he quickly replied "On that tiny hiney? Don't mind if I do!
Dennis was also noted for his extreme loyalty to his boss, and Maya's father, Jack Gallo. During the course of the show, Finch made no secret of his hero worship of Jack, and even viewed Jack as a father figure. In one episode, Finch filmed an adult movie in his boss' office, naming 2 of the guys in the film "Dennis" and "Jack". During the film, "Dennis" goes onto tell "Jack" how he has learned so much from him, and that "Jack" was a hero to him. In another episode, Dennis bought Jack dog tags to match his own, and Jack's dog tags were inscribed with a note about how Jack was his General, and he was honored to have been in the trenches with him. While Jack sometimes seems uncomfortable with the role Dennis has placed him in, he always comes around and shows appreciation for Dennis' loyalty, and returns the father/son bond Dennis has for him.
[edit] Spartacus
For companionship, Dennis kept a fluffy white award-winning pure-bred cat named Spartacus in his apartment. One day, Dennis took his cat to work and it accidentally died in a collision while publisher Jack Gallo and his daughter, Maya were racing remote control model cars around the office. Grief stricken (and not knowing how the cat died) Finch stuffed Spartacus and one day placed the mounted remains of his dead feline on Jack Gallo’s desk. Jack’s guilt became so overwhelming (he thought the cat was talking to him) that he confessed his misdeed to Dennis. While he did this, the stuffed remains of Spartacus were burned from a lit cigar.
[edit] Family and childhood
Dennis' relatives included his mother Fantasia Olympia Finch. She is a 100 percent wholesome, goody two-shoes. When Dennis' mom visited Manhattan, he introduced her to his boss Jack Gallo with hopes that the two would became romantically involved and eventually marry. But, the best made plans of mice and Finch were soon to go asunder and Finch's mom returned to Albany husbandless but still happy. As for Dennis' grandmother, he learned a valuable lesson at the age of six when he accidentally walked into the bathroom and saw her naked. He learned to knock.
Dennis's father and brothers were all firemen, very supportive of their 'tiny' and effeminate brother's presumed homosexuality. Though Dennis is not gay, one of his brothers appeared to be in a relationship with his roommate, but his butch manner and appearance had made his family completely ignorant of that fact.
[edit] Best friend
Dennis' childhood buddy was Burt. They were close friends and made a solemn vow to meet up with each other when they became adults. To seal the deal, they tore up a treasured picture of Kwai Chang Caine. When they did meet up, Dennis discovered Burt had a sex change operation and was now a luscious blonde called Brandy.
[edit] Outside jobs
When not on the job, Dennis earned extra money teaching at Traffic School (or as he likes to call it "Traffic Academy"), although he had a fear of driving until Elliot, who had to attend driving school to keep his license being revoked, made a deal with Finch to teach him driving in return for a driving certificate. He is also a dues paying member of the Future Magicians of America and he likes to go to sci-fi conventions and cat shows. He also once worked at an ice cream parlor.
Dennis was a championship Figure Skater, and is quite defensive when it is referred to as Ice Dancing, insisting that "It's a sport, and really quite physically demanding."
[edit] Some Finch-isms
- Dennis: I am the Finchiest Finchiest Finch in the whole wide world !
- Dennis: Oh, I just remembered. You're boring. And my legs work.
- Dennis: Crank it, spank it, smack it on the bing-bong.
- Nina: I like to think of my body as a temple.
- Dennis: Which explains why there's a line to get in on Friday nights.
- Dennis: If I get killed, tell Courtney in accounting I love her and erase all the porn on my computer.
- Dennis: Junk in the trunk, thats a Finch slam dunk!.
- Dennis: Someone had sex with Amy lots of sex with Amy, dirty crazy monkey funky all night sex with Amy.
[edit] Items of note
- An infamous Christmas-themed episode called "How The Finch Stole Christmas" featured Finch stealing all the Christmas decorations in the office, parodying How the Grinch Stole Christmas!.
