Dear Dumb Diary

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Dear Dumb Diary by Jim Benton is a series about a middle school girl named Jamie Kelly and her adventures. She has a burning hatred for a girl named Angeline, a popular, smart and beautiful "blondwad". Isabella is Jamie's best friend (who happens to be obsessed with popularity and she's not popular). It is published by Scholastic in English and by Random House in Korean.

She and Angeline both have a crush on Hudson Rivers which causes some trouble. The books about her are as follows:

Dear Dumb Diary, Let's Pretend this Never Happened
Dear Dumb Diary, My Pants are Haunted!
Dear Dumb Diary, Am I the Princess or the Frog?
Dear Dumb Diary, Never do Anything, Ever
Dear Dumb Diary, Can Adults become Human?
Dear Dumb Diary, The Problem With Here Is That It's Where I'm From
Dear Dumb Diary, Never Underestimate Your Dumbness

[edit] Main Characters

[edit] Jamie Kelly

Jamie, the owner of the diary and heroine of the books, is a middle school girl who has a huge crush on Hudson Rivers, the 8th cutest guy in her grade. Her hair color, labeled by the hair dye company she used, is Groundhog. Her best friend is Isabella Vinchella, a tough, violent girl. At the start of all her diaries, Jamie writes something along the lines of " Are you sure you're supposed to be reading someone else's diary? Maybe I told you could, so that's okay. But if you are Angeline, I did not give you permission so stop it." It goes on about many other things, and before that, there are pictures explaining why you should not read her diary. Jamie's favorite color is green. Jamie believes in the future she will be a "Hot Mom", and she and her best friend Isabella have 9 girls, 8 boys. Her husband will be rich and famous, but he has to be Isabella's husband's twin brother. Jamie also loves to draw and doodle, so one of her career choices is an artist, that is if she does not decide to be a scientist that makes a lot of money dancing on TV. Jamie is an only child. She has a strange and icky cousin, Eddy, who looks like a troll, is the dirtiest and always seems to get sticky again after just being washed. Jamie got in trouble for writing "wash me" on his cheek. Jamie likes to talk about how annoying Angeline is and thinks Angeline is effortlessly beautiful. Angeline and Jamie are the same exact pants size. In the fifth book, "Can Adults Become Human?", Jamie's Aunt Carol is engaged to Assistant Principal Devon, who is Angeline's uncle. Jamie fears that this will make her and Angeline cousins, but this is not true. Jamie says, on being assured that her and Angeline are not related, "It's like having a very large, very attractive wart removed.". In the sixth book, "The Problem with Here is that Its Where I'm From", Jamie desperately tries to get an accent while Isabella thinks that having an accent is some type of strange speech deformity. Mr. Evans assigns a project for the students to work on in groups and Angeline chooses to work on graffiti while Jamie is teamed up with her. Jamie has a fat smelly beagle named Stinker. In each diary, Jamie lives an interesting adventure

[edit] Isabella

Isabella is Jamie's best friend. She has a lot of mean older brothers which makes her tough and makes it hard for her to trust other people. Isabella has a chocolate dependency problem. She is very selfish and hates her glasses. Though, in the fourth book, "Never Do Anything, Ever", Isabella sees a poster of a model wearing her coke-bottle glasses, which makes her think she is a model too. Isabella is excellent at lying, but can also do incredibly dumb things, for example: the time she colored her contacts with a marker, to make everyone think she had blue eyes (in Am I the Princess or the Frog?: Page 79). Isabella's signature lip balm is Chocomint, which changes to meat loaf when stolen by Angeline in the first book. Isabella has always been mean, even all the way back in grade 2. She beat up a kid, Lewis Clarke, because he giggled at her name. It took 3 teachers and half the class to pull her off the boy. Isabella will probably be "A Scientist of Popularity." Isabella is also conceited, and is sometimes the cause of she and Jamie's fights. Isabella is also a "re-teller" (in Can Adults Become Human), she kept telling on Jamie for gluing a picture to her hair. She also thinks that she is an expert on popularity and she thinks that she is much more popular than Jamie. In the sixth book, she respects Colette for the fact that she has mean older brothers too and has great schemes to defend herself, which makes her post Colette winner for prettiest.

[edit] Angeline

The most popular girl in school that everyone loves, she has the most beautiful blond hair you've ever seen and has all the boys talking about her and many of the girls envy her (except Jamie). Angeline is a beautiful girl with big blue eyes and long dark black eye lashes to make her eyes even more intense even when she doesn't wear any makeup and just like Jamie she has a crush on Hudson Rivers (the eighth-cutest guy in Jamie's grade).

Also invented zone shampooing, beret fads, and started holes in jeans. She is on and off "friends" with Jamie. However, in the sixth book, Angeline, Isabella and Jamie all become so called "best friends" after the voting that takes place at their school. Angeline gave necklaces to Isabella and Jamie. Jamie later gives her necklace to Stinker.

[edit] Stinker

Jamie's vengeful beagle dog, Stinker, is very dreadful. He is brown, old, and out of shape. Angeline once gave him a makeover and Stinker looked beautiful. Stinker loves to eat Jamie's Mom's appetizers. Jamie tried to make Stinker run away, but all attempts failed hopelessly, she got him back in the end. Stinker was also framed for stealing Angeline's permanent record (which Jamie stole) and for revenge he eats her mythology homework. Jamie once framed Stinker for destroying all of Jamie's jeans when her mom really did it. He and Stickybuns, Angeline's dog, will have puppies.

[edit] Hudson Rivers

Hudson Rivers is the 8th Cutest Guy at Mackerel Middle School (Chip, a guy cute enough to be in a shaving cream commercial, is first, but 2nd-7th is unknown.) He has an on-and-off crush on Jamie, but that was because he saw her do funny things, like when she tried to show off her Zone Shampooing, it looked like she was having a seizure. He sometimes likes Angeline too, especially when she does charitable things. His hair color is dark brown. Jamie doesn't have a lot of information on Hudson, but she wants to find out more. Hudson's name is a joke on the Hudson River. Hudson is also 'easly tricked into believing that Angeline is pretty'.

[edit] Jamie's Mom

Jamie's mom is known because of her terrible cooking, although she is very good at making appetizers. She constantly makes horrible meals that Jamie and Mr. Kelly cringe at, although they barely ever say anything, so they do not hurt her feelings and so she won't talk about Wheretheheckistan. "Mom's cooking makes Crafty Napkin Draping an essential survival skill around here." says Jamie. Jamie's Mom likes to hold yard sales for 3 cents and talks about how the children in Wheretheheckistan would just love to eat her cooking while as Jaamie phrased it "The children in Wheretheheckistan already have enough problems without dumping Mom's casserole on them too."

[edit] Minor Characters

[edit] Mr. Evans

Mr. Evans is the English teacher for Mackerel Middle School. Although not one of the main characters, he is somewhat important in Dear Dumb Diary book #1, Let's Pretend This Never Happened. He is somewhat irritable; you can tell because his forehead will start to throb if you give a wrong answer.

[edit] Mean Office Ladies

Mean office ladies who enjoy being mean to kids, mostly Jamie. Probably because of their butterscotch candy. However, in book five[Can adults become human?] They become nice when Jamie's Aunt Carol gets a job at school.

[edit] Miss Bruntford

A fat, ugly woman who is the school's lunch monitor. She is "a water buffalo someone trained to make sure everything flows as smoothly as gravy through a grandma". She has eyes in the back of her head, and she has a very fat neck which has fat blubber that shakes when she's angry. She has a house but Jamie thought she had always lived under a bridge asking travelers riddles before she let them pass. She is Jamie's aunt's new best friend and she actually let the air out of Miss Anderson's car so she couldn't ruin Aunt Carol's engagement party. She goes mad whenever a student doesn't finish his/her meatloaf, and Angeline once threw meatloaf on her neck, but Jamie took the blame. Her mom likes to cook for her.

[edit] Mr. VanDoy

A social studies teacher that almost never smiles. Jamie and Isabella hate him. He laughed so hard (in Can Adults Become Human) - a "loud, barking, out-of control laughter that just makes you laugh when you hear it" - when Stinker released the fart he had been holding in for weeks.

[edit] Mr. Dover

The gym teacher Mr. Dover appears in the fourth book. His name is "Ben" and his last name is "Dover", a little joke because of Bend Over. He assigned a project to Jamie's class which included "baby passing," (trying to get a babydoll ALL the way across the gym with a pan, a rubber snake, and a high heel)

[edit] Assistant Principal Devon

Angeline's uncle and the AP of Mackerel Middle School. He's married to Jamie's Aunt Carol and can sometimes do things that seem surprisingly normal, or even human. Such as the time when he made Jamie pick up a paper and throw it in the trash in a way that was lying but telling the truth at the same time. He told Jamie to tell the re-teller, Isabella, that he made her clean the office.

[edit] Aunt Carol

Aunt Carol is Jamie's aunt. Jamie considers Aunt Carol to be somewhat cool, since she is still somewhat young and was not married until she got engaged to Assistant Principal Devon,who is also Angeline's uncle.(in Can Adults Become Human?). Aunt Carol is friends with Miss Bruntford, the large cafeteria monitor. Aunt C. is also super nice, and hot. She gets married in the 7th book.

[edit] Miss Anderson

Miss Anderson is the pretty art teacher of Mackerel Middle School. Her first appearance was in Dear Dumb Diary, Lets pretend this never happened. She is described by Jamie Kelly,"pretty enough to be a waitress.". She had a crush on the assistant principal and was very angry when Jamie's Aunt Carol and the assistant principal became engaged.In Dear Dumb Diary, Am I the Princess or the Frog? she dates Mr.Prince, who Jamie had a crush on and was a replacement for Bruntford. In that book she is also described as a perfect poser. In Jamie's words, "Curse those who can pose adorably!" (Mr.Prince saw her picture as a 17 year old and dated her.)

[edit] Mrs. Palmer

Mrs. Palmer is a substitute teacher who has a habit of switching partners in her classes, due to the fact that she does not care what you are doing that you are not supposed to be doing, as long as you are doing something wrong. She replaced Mr. Tweeds, who fell and broke his hip. She also failed to notice Jamie's best friend's perfume jar in the back of the room. She also loves to fart in front of Jamie's face.

[edit] Sally Winthorpe

Sally is considered extremely smart, but small. She had once stolen Isabella's SUPERFRAGANCE to get Hudson Rivers to like her. But she got caught because Isabella's sinus problems had been cleared up. And then then Sally got extremely unpopular again.

[edit] Margaret Parker

Margaret is considered a total reject because she chews on pencils too much. Jamie and Isabella gave her a makeover, although she eventually changed back from her makeover, while keeping the popularity status she got from the makeover. Margaret secretly has a crush on TUKWNIF ("That Ugly Kid Whose Name I Forget", a nobody at school who is nicknamed by Jamie). Jamie and Isabella give her a makeover and she becomes instantly popular. Eventually she goes back to her old self and having few extra munches every now and then from other people's pencils.

[edit] Mike Pinsetti

Mike is known for nicknaming people. He once had a crush on Jamie. In book 3, he wrote her poems that Jamie thought to be from Mr. Prince.

[edit] Mr. Prince

A substitute cafeteria monitor who Jamie had a crush on, and thought he liked her, although he didn't. He only appears in the third book, Am I The Princess Or The Frog? He dated Miss Anderson, but at first he thought she was too old for him. He saw a picture of her as a 17 year old in a bathing suit in an art project where Jamie and Angeline (paired against their will) put pictures up on a poster of all the teachers when they were young, and he changed his mind.

[edit] Eddy

Is Jamie's cousin once-removed and is extremely dirty and is allergic to strawberries. He appears in the first book and in the fifth book as well. Jamie has to do a report and she uses him. He is considered a troll in her report.

[edit] Colette

One of the girls from Wodehouse Middle School(book 6).In order to get into the vote at Jamie's school(Mackerel Middle School) she stinks out her school, by putting rotten cat food in the air vents. While at the other school she becomes more beautiful and popular than Angeline, who in order to win the prettiest gives 15 votes to Jamie from Colette. When Jamie goes to Wodehouse along with Isabella and Angeline to help her Aunt Carol, Colette is very unpopular and is being called Collie by her schoolmates. Colette confesses to them why she stunk her own school out in order to become prettiest. This moves Isabella to declare Colette winner for the prettiest.Colette has glossy black hair, but her face was identical to Angeline's while she was in Jamie's school. Jamie likes Colette, so does Angeline. Like Isabella, Colette also has mean older brothers.

[edit] Chip

Chip is also mentioned in book # 3. Not mentioned much, but in book 2 Jamie ranked Chip as the cutest guy in school. His last name remains unknown. Jamie says that he is cute enough to be in a shaving cream commercial. Also he kind of likes Angeline. He is also very nice and complimented Angeline about her holed jeans.