Critic's Choice (play)

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Critic's Choice is a play written by Ira Levin.

It opened at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre on December 14, 1960 and ran for 189 performances, closing on May 27, 1961. Otto Preminger directed. Oleg Cassini provided the costumes.

A play in three acts, Critic's Choice tells the story of theater critic Parker Ballantine whose second wife, Angela, writes a play which is produced on Broadway. The play is awful and Parker must decide whether or not to review the play honestly.

Reviewing for The New York Times, Howard Taubman wrote, "Ira Levin's new comedy, which opened at the Ethel Barrymore last night, is not much of a play." And, "Otto Preminger's staging discloses a seasoned hand, although his pacing often turns languid and his ideas for comedy run thin, like the playwright's."

In 1963, the play was made into a film of the same name starring Bob Hope and Lucille Ball.

Contents

[edit] Characters

  • Parker Ballantine: a theater critic in his late 30s or early 40s.
  • Angela Ballantine: Parker’s second wife; a blonde of twenty-seven or twenty-eight.
  • John Ballantine: twelve years old, Parker’s son with his first wife Ivy.
  • Dion Kapakos: twenty-nine or thirty, the director of Angela’s new play.
  • Essie: the Ballantine’s black maid.
  • Charlotte Orr: Angela’s mother.
  • Ivy London: Parker’s first wife, Mother of John. In her mid-to-late thirties.

[edit] Plot Summary

[edit] Act One

The action takes place in the Ballantine’s Washington Square duplex apartment in Manhattan. Act One opens on Parker, Angela and John Ballantine at the breakfast table. John reports that the downstairs neighbor, Dr. von Hagedorn, is writing a play. This prompts Angela to announce that she has been thinking about writing a play herself. It would be based on her Uncle Ben who ran a rooming house.

Parker is skeptical, but Angela insists and goes off to start typing the play. This gives Parker the idea to write an article for Harper’s called "Don’t Write That Play!", a piece that would discourage amateur playwrights from attempting to have plays produced. As Angela begins work on her play, Parker starts dictating his article into a tape recorder.

Angela completes her play, which she titles “The Gingerbread World”, sends it off to a producer, and meanwhile asks Parker to read it. Parker does and tells Angela that the play is horrendous. Angela becomes angry at Parker, but phones the producer, S.P. Champlain, and finds out that he loves the work and wants to produce it with Dion Kapakos as director.

Kapakos enters, feels the play needs work, and starts some rewrites including changing the title of the play to “A Houseful of Silence”. Later he adds a Greek chorus and ends the play with the suicide of Uncle Ben.

The play has its first run-through which is attended by Parker’s son John. John reports to Parker that the play is the worst thing he’s ever seen and questions his father about whether he would really review the play honestly were it to open in New York. John fears that the situation Parker had with his first wife, Ivy, will repeat itself with Parker writing positive reviews of Ivy’s bad performances. John is concerned that this will end Parker's marriage to Angela.

Parker assures John that, unlike his marriage to Ivy, Parker’s marriage to Angela is a strong one and secure enough to weather an honest review from Parker. Parker explains that were he to lie about Angela’s play, Parker would lose his own self-respect and become angry with Angela and the whole world as a result.

In the next scene Angela is on her way, with Dion, to New Haven and Boston for the out of town try-outs of “A Houseful of Silence”. Angela and Dion find out that Parker intends to review the play in New York. Angela become furious. She storms out of the apartment after accusing Parker of being snide and sarcastic by writing the “Don’t Write that Play” article. In the final scene of Act One, Parker sits down with his tape recorder and begins to erase the entire tape of his article.

[edit] Act Two

Charlotte, Angela’s mother, has been staying in the apartment to cook for Parker and John while Angela is out of town. Charlotte begs Parker to give the play a positive review for the sake of the marriage.

The doorbell rings and Ivy London, Parker’s first wife, appears. She has learned, from a phone call to Parker's maid, that Angela is out of town. Angela reports to Parker that she has just come from Boston where she was in the same hotel as Angela and Dion and she believes that the two are having an affair. Ivy also tells Parker that she still love him. Ivy leaves and Charlotte re-enters. Charlotte admits she’s been eavesdropping on the conversation with Ivy, and tells Parker she believe what Ivy has reported: that it is likely that Angela and Dion are having an affair. Charlotte calls Parker naïve for not believing the rumor and warns him that if he gives Angela’s play a bad review that night, he will lose Angela forever.

Angela and Dion return to the apartment before going to the theater for the opening of the show. Once again, Angela begs Parker not to review the play. She reminds Parker that he lied about Ivy’s bad performances six times while Parker was married to Ivy. She tells Parker that Dion loves her. She repeats Parker’s words that during the opening of the play they are not husband and wife, but critic and playwright. She asks whether she should even come home after the play that night.

Parker finally backs down, gives his tickets back to Angela, and says he won’t review the play after all. Angela and Dion leave for the theater and Parker begins to drink heavily. John becomes angry at Parker for going back on his word about reviewing the play and about staying honest to himself. Parker continues to drink, calls Ivy, and invites her to the apartment to give him a backrub.

[edit] Act Three

Ivy is busy making dinner for Parker as he continues to drink. Ivy again proclaims her love to Parker and tells him they will get back together. Parker becomes increasingly drunk and maudlin about not being true to his word about doing his job as a critic regardless of Angela’s connection with the play. Finally, Parker decides he must review the play and he rushes out to catch a cab to the theater. Ivy leaves.

Charlotte and John return from the opening night party discussing how bad the play was. Angela and Dion storm in carrying the newspaper reviews. Angela tells Charlotte that Parker reviewed the play after all and now Angela is moving out and going to live with Dion.

Parker, now sober, returns home and enters with Ivy while John is reading Parker’s review, “Opening Night Report”. Angela grabs her suitcase and readies to leave the apartment, but Parker insists that she listen to him. Parker then apologizes for making fun of Angela when she first began to write the play, and for not going to New Haven and Boston to make suggestions to improve it. He tells her that if she did have an affair with Dion in Boston then he, Parker, is to blame for not having traveled there with her. He begs her forgiveness, but goes on to say that “A Houseful of Silence” was an awful play, he was right to give it a bad review, and that Angela should not try to keep Parker from doing his work as a critic. He promises that if Angela writes another play he will help her, and he asks her to stay with him. Angela, charmed, relents. Dion and Ivy leave together. Angela and Parker retreat to the bedroom.

[edit] Excerpt

  • Parker: If I contribute something to the play, how can I review it? It’s going to be hard enough to be objective as it is.
  • Angela: How can you re—
  • Dion: You’re going to review it?
  • Parker: Yes, I am. I’ve talked it over with my editor, and myself, and I’m going to.
  • Dion: We assumed you would – disqualify yourself.
  • Parker: Sorry, I’m a vampire; nothing disqualifies me but a stake through the heart.
  • John: Or being caught outside the coffin in direct sunlight.
  • Parker: (To Dion, pointing back over his shoulder at John) The world’s leading authority on vampires.
  • Angela: But—but that’s not fair! You read the play! You hated it!
  • Parker: I’d review it if I loved it. I’ll do my best to be objective.
  • Dion: But damn it, she’s your wife!
  • Parker: No, she isn’t, not on opening night. (To Angela) You’re a playwright, I’m a critic; let’s both do our jobs as well as we can and shake hands before and after.

[edit] Opening Night Cast

[edit] External links

[edit] References

  • The New York Times, December 15, 1960
  • Botto, Louis. Playbill: At This Theatre (Applause Books, 2002) (ISBN 1-55783-566-7)
  • Levin, Ira. Critic's Choice (Random House, New York, 1961)