Con Heir

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“Con Heir”
American Dad! episode
Jack Smith attacking Roger
Episode no.	Season 1 Episode 11
Written by	Steve Hely
Directed by	Albert Calleros
Production no.	1AJN11
Original airdate	October 2, 2005
Newspaper Headline	"Scientist Discovers Wife Cheating"
Season 1 episodes
American Dad - Season 1 May 1, 2005 – May 14, 2006
Pilot Threat Levels Stan Knows Best Francine's Flashback Roger Codger Homeland Insecurity Deacon Stan, Jesus Man Bullocks to Stan A Smith in the Hand All About Steve Con Heir Stan of Arabia: Part 1 Stan of Arabia: Part 2 Stannie Get Your Gun Star Trek Not Particularly Desperate Housewife Rough Trade Finances with Wolves It's Good to Be Queen Roger 'n' Me Helping Handis With Friends Like Steve's Tears of a Clooney

	Season 2 →
List of American Dad! episodes

"Con Heir" is an episode of the animated series American Dad!.

[edit] Plot

Things are a bit mundane for Stan at the CIA, evident by he and his colleague passing the time with paper football while waiting for a "dangerous assignment/thrilling adventure" from Bullock. Unfortunately for Stan, Bullock has him left behind because the mission is too dangerous for a family man.

"Grandpa," a pleasant old man, is visiting the Smith family. He is reminiscing with Steve about Bette Davis. Roger walks right through the living room to get some Cheez-It crackers, but "Grandpa" is too senile to notice. Stan comes homes, and walks right through to the kitchen, ignoring "Grandpa" other than warning Steve that "Grandpa" is incontinent. In the kitchen, Stan complains to Francine that he doesn't want to be a pencil-pusher; he is a killing machine. Francine tries to convince Stan that he should be happy having a great family, and suggests that Stan should tell his boss how he feels. Somehow Stan twists this idea around into a plan to plant a bomb in his boss's office to prove his manliness.

The next day Stan plants the bomb, Bullock panics, and Stan marches in to save the day. "Everybody watch as this family man slash killing machine defuses this bomb." While the timer has less than a minute before the bomb explodes, Stan whips out his reading glasses to read the instruction pamphlet for the bomb to figure out how to defuse it. Unfortunately, he drops his reading glasses and they shatter. (Stan regrets not wearing the chain for his reading glasses that Francine had given him for his birthday.) With his boss and all his coworkers watching, he announces that he has pooped his pants, and shrinks into a fetal position crying that everyone is going to die. But with one second left, Agent Duper, Stan's rival, clips the correct wire with a pair of nail clippers. Accolades to Duper.

Steve does charades to Hayley's disinterest. "Grandpa" dozes, then dies, which Steve hilariously misinterprets. Hayley comes into the kitchen to announce that "grandpa" has died. At the funeral, the pastor shows no interest in a eulogy, and neither does Stan. His family is shocked as his indifference. On cue, Jack Smith, Stan's real father jumps down from a helicopter, and Stan reveals that the grandpa his family knew and loved was a day laborer Stan had picked up in front of the "Home Deport" hardware store—three hours before his wedding to Francine twenty years earlier. The family is shocked, except for Stan, who is ecstatic to see his father for the first time in twenty years.

At home Jack reveals his cooking ability, as well as the "fact" that he's a spy for an organization even more elite and secretive than the CIA, the Scarlet Alliance. Jack has no trouble accepting Roger's existence as an alien. Roger develops a "boy-crush" on Jack. Francine is still mad at Stan for keeping his father a secret. Stan goes shooting with this father, who tells him that he had actually come to recruit his son. Stan quits his job so his life will be full of adventure, to Francine's disapproval. Jack convinces Stan to accompany him on a heist by telling him they're actually intercepting uranium from terrorists. Jack is actually a jewel thief. The FBI comes looking for him, but Francine does not recognize him from the FBI's description without his moustache. In the kitchen, Francine figures it out and confronts Jack. He promises to tell Stan the truth. Jack of course does not tell Stan the truth. He tells him that Francine is an enemy spy. Stan locks up Francine in the basement. Francine begs to be let out. Roger goes to let her out, but when Francine reveals that Jack was responsible, Roger refuses to help her. "Sorry, but if the Jackhammer says you're a spy, that's good enough for me!"

Steve reveals his attraction to older women when he goes to pick up his fake grandpa's belongings, encountering Gretchen, the octagenarian woman "grandpa" used to play bridge with. They reminisce over "grandpa's" preference for IHOP: Breakfast sampler, extra fruit, no bacon. "I miss him." "Me too." Then Steve and Gretchen immediately begin making out. At school lunch, Steve brags about his conquest. When he reveals that Gretchen is eighty, Snot and Toshi spit out their milk. In his braggadoccio he tells his friends were she lives. He plans to get to third base. But later when he goes to visit Gretchen, he finds her in an open bathrobe. Snot has just been there, as Steve deduces from his Wrangler jean vest left behind. Gretchen tells Steve that monogamy is for "girls" in their sixties. Steve tells Gretchen that their relationship is over. Steve catches up to Snot walking home. They apologize to each other for fighting over Gretchen. "Come on, dude, you know how sexy she is." A wheezing blue-haired woman walks by dragging an oxygen tank, and both boys chase after her.

At the museum, Stan beats the living tar out of the seventy-six year old watchman. Then they come to the vault. "Son, breaking into a vault is like making love to a woman." "Right, so we should pound on it for, like, two minutes." "No." As Stan smashes open statues looking for uranium, Jack stuffs jewels into his pockets. Jack tells Stan that his CIA training would be useful as a jewel thief. Stan refuses, so Jack locks him into the vault. Stan escapes by flicking a paper football, made from a Picasso, at the electric switch. He catches up to Jack. An elaborate chase ensues. Stan catches Jack, but lets him go. Stan comes home to let out Francine, but instead of slapping him she breaks two lamps over his head. They manage to lock themselves into the basement, but Roger won't let them out without Jack's approval.

[edit] Cultural references

This section called "Cultural references" does not cite any references or sources. (October 2007)
Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unverifiable material may be challenged and removed.

Roger calls Jack "Snake Plissken" after he jumps him, a reference to the main character from Escape from New York and Escape from LA due to his eye patch and gruff exterior.
Roger calls Jack "Jack Hammer" which is an alias that Daran Norris (who voiced Jack Smith) has.
Jack's appearance (Greying hair and an eyepatch) is similar to that of Nick Fury.
The final seconds before the bomb's detonation are shown in a style similar to 24.
Klaus feels reminded of a discotheque in Berlin where he used to do lines with Falco in the men's room. Falco was an Austrian musician infamous for excessive use of cocaine.
Stan says "I'm washed up. I'm the Chumbawamba of secret agents." Chumbawamba is an English band who had a hit song Tubthumping in 1997.
As Stan is beating up the museum guard, the song that plays is a Minuet composed by Bach.
After the Pretend Grandpa Smith dies, a sequence similar to Six Feet Under is shown.
This episode is similar to a later Family Guy episode "Peter's Two Dads," where it is revealed shortly after the death of Peter's dad that he had a different biological father.