Colemanballs

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Colemanballs is a term coined by Private Eye magazine to describe verbal gaffes perpetrated by (usually British) sports commentators.[1] It is derived from the surname of the now retired BBC broadcaster David Coleman and the suffix -balls, as in "to balls up",[1][2] and has since spawned derivative terms in unrelated fields such as "Warballs" (spurious references to the September 11, 2001 attacks) and "Dianaballs" (sentimental references to Diana, Princess of Wales). Any other subject can be covered, as long as it is appropriately suffixed by -balls.[1] The all-encompassing term "mediaballs" has since been used by Private Eye as their coverage of gaffes has expanded.[3]

Colemanballs books, as published by Private Eye magazine between 1982 and 2004.
Colemanballs books, as published by Private Eye magazine between 1982 and 2004.

Contents

[edit] Background

Coleman's association with these verbal slips is so strong that he is often given erroneous credit for the earliest example specifically referenced as a Colemanball;[1] in fact the broadcaster responsible was fellow BBC commentator Ron Pickering.[4][5] At the 1976 Summer Olympics in Montreal Pickering commentated on a race involving Cuban double-gold medallist Alberto Juantorena, whose muscular build and nine-foot stride contributed to his nickname El Caballo (the horse).[6] Pickering said "and there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."[4]

Another regular contributor to the section until his retirement was motor racing commentator Murray Walker. His excitable delivery led to so many mistakes that they began to be labelled "Murrayisms".[1] Examples include "We've had cars going off left, right and centre", "do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough?", and "with half of the race gone, there is half of the race still to go." However, only Walker himself could utter a Murrayism, while Colemanballs remained the more generic term attributable to any commentator.

Private Eye's Colemanballs column has now expanded to include occasional quotes from sportsmen themselves (e.g. Frank Bruno's "That's cricket, Harry, you get these sort of things in boxing"), politicians (John Major's "When your back's against the wall it's time to turn round and fight"), and malapropisms from other public figures.

Perhaps the most famous Colemanball is that of Brian Johnston announcing that "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey" on a BBC Radio 4 Test Match Special,[7] although this may be apocryphal.[1][8]

[edit] Books

Private Eye has issued compilations of Colemanballs in book form

  • Fantoni, Barry (1982). Private Eye's Colemanballs. André Deutsch. ISBN 0-233-97490-3. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (1984). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 2. André Deutsch. ISBN 0-233-97700-7. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (1986). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 3. André Deutsch. ISBN 0-233-97985-9. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (1988). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 4. André Deutsch. ISBN 0-233-98337-6. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (1990). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 5. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 0-552-13751-0. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (1992). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 6. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 0-552-13996-3. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (1994). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 7. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 0-552-14279-4. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (1996). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 8. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 0-552-14521-1. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (1998). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 9. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 1-901784-11-8. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (2000). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 10. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 1-901784-19-3. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (2002). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 11. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 1901784304. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (2004). Private Eye]]'s Colemanballs: No. 12. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 1-901784-36-3. 
  • Fantoni, Barry (2006). Private Eye's Colemanballs: No. 13. Private Eye Productions. ISBN 1-901784-45-2. 

[edit] Footnotes

  1. ^ a b c d e f "TV and Radio Sport's Howlers", BBC.co.uk, December 16, 2005
  2. ^ Definition of "balls up" at FreeDictionary.com
  3. ^ Hislop, Ian (2003). "Mediaballs". Private Eye Productions Ltd, 96pp. ISBN 978-1901784336. 
  4. ^ a b "Olympic Games: Days of abandon and the one grim day they did abandon", Barry Davies, Independent on Sunday, August 8, 2004
  5. ^ "Coleman retires without a word: it's probably safer that way", Brian Viner, The Independent, December 15, 2000
  6. ^ "IOC Profile - Alberto Juantorena", Olympic.org
  7. ^ "A breeze for Blowers", Dan Warren, BBC Sport, January 16, 2003
  8. ^ "Just the job for a Very Nice Person", Simon Hoggart, The Guardian, March 25, 2006

[edit] See also

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