Chains (Blackadder)

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Chains
Blackadder II episode

Blackadder & Melchett in chains
Episode no. Season 2
Episode 6
Written by Ben Elton
Richard Curtis
Directed by Mandie Fletcher
Guest stars Hugh Laurie
Mark Arden
Lee Cornes
Max Harvey
Original airdate 20/02/1986
Episode chronology
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"Beer" "Dish and Dishonesty"
List of Blackadder episodes

"Chains" is the final episode of the BBC sitcom Blackadder II, the second series of Blackadder, which was set in Elizabethan England from 1558 to 1603. Power-mad and self-professed "master of disguise", Prince Ludwig the Indestructible kidnaps Lord Blackadder and Lord Melchett. They escape his clutches but Prince Ludwig infiltrates the palace during a fancy dress ball. In the confusion Nursie is killed... or is she?

[edit] Plot

Blackadder and Melchett are kidnapped by the Spaniards and held for ransom. Blackadder does not speak Spanish, so he and the Spanish torturer engage in a lengthy game of charades to determine the exact threats and mode of torture ("If I admit that I'm...head-over-heels in love...with Satan and all his little wizards, then you will...remove my testicles with a blunt instrument [which he learns moments later is a scythe]...and roast them over a large fire." "Si! Si!"). Prince Ludwig the Indestructible, a German pretender to the throne who mispronounces english words, interrupts just as the torturer is about to get started on Edmund; when Edmund does not recognize him, Ludwig reveals that he was once disguised as Big Sally, a waitress at The Old Pizzle in Dover. Edmund is horrified: "But I went to bed with you, didn't I?"

Lord Melchett is dragged in screaming. Melchett does not know him, until Ludwig tells him that he once impersonated Flossie, a sheep at a monastery in Cornwall. Melchett is aghast: "But...didn't we...?"

Queenie's reply arrives, announcing that she has decided to spend the ransom money on "a biiig party." Ludwig agrees not to torture the two men in exchange for information on how he can get into the palace during the costume party. When he leaves, Blackadder and Melchett escape and make their way back to England, arriving just in time for the party. Queenie is dressed as Henry VIII, while Baldrick is a pencil case. Edmund promptly stabs "Nursie", who is revealed to be Prince Ludwig in disguise (Nursie always dresses as an unconvincing cow and Ludwig's disguise is too convincing), thus saving the day...but Ludwig is still alive and leaves, swearing revenge. After the credits, we see that Blackadder has been murdered by a surprise attack, along with Baldrick, Percy, Queenie, Melchett and Nursie. Ludwig stands over their bodies disguised as Queenie and holding a blood-drenched dagger. He claims that impersonating Queenie is a role he will enjoy...if he can manage to get the voice right.

[edit] Music

As with all the episodes in this season, there is a distinct song sung describing the story in that particular episode. In this episode, it goes:

"Beware all ye who lust for fame.
The path of life is most uncertain.
Prince Ludwig thought he'd won the game.
But now the Kraut's gone for a burton.
Black Adder, Black Adder. He beat the Hun by luck.
Black Adder, Black Adder. He's smarter than a duck.
Lord Melchett, Lord Melchett, intelligent and deep.
Lord Melchett, Lord Melchett, a shame about the sheep."

While in all other episodes, Blackadder kept getting outwitted by the balladeer singing the songs, in this one, he manages to catch him and drown him in the fountain (but the balladeer keeps singing till the very end).