Talk:Causes and origins of Tourette syndrome

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[edit] GA Review

I have reviewed the 29 October 2006 nomination for Good Article and have the following feedback before I would recommend this for a good article:

  • The pathophysiology paragraph has a duplicated first sentence. One of them has a citation, the other doesn't.
  • The entire pathophysiology section needs to be rewritten in much simpler language to be more understandable. It reads like a highly technical medical journal.
    • Pathophysiology of the brain is a complex subject: I've wikilinked the terms, but I can't dumb it down; anyone reading about pathophysiology is likely to have an advanced level of involvement with the topic anyway. Sandy (Talk) 03:47, 20 November 2006 (UTC)
  • When I read the section on genetics, I immediately wondered whether there were any studies about identical twins, especially when the article referred to incomplete penetrance. I see that the "non-genetic influences" section has references to twin studies. Perhaps the article could be improved by including some of the twin studies data from those references in the genetics section.
  • Please review the guidelines at WP:LEAD. The introductory section should provide an overview and summary of the article. It shouldn't introduce information that isn't mentioned in more detail elsewhere in the article.
  • Try to cut back on some of the jargon and fancy language that the average reader won't understand. Examples:
    • Causes and origins of Tourette syndrome have not been fully elucidated
      • This language is not above the level of an average encyclopedia reader. Sandy (Talk) 03:35, 20 November 2006 (UTC)
      • I think it is. I have no idea what 'elucidated' means (I know I can look it up, but that's not the point!) I might be a major in computer science and not medicin, but it shouldn't require a university degree in medicin or cross indexing in a dictionary to read wikipedia. Either the subject is specific and need an internal wiki link, or some other less technical words should be used. 129.142.143.67 19:08, 30 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Autoimmune processes may affect tic onset and exacerbation in some cases: the unproven and contentious hypothesis that Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal infections, P.A.N.D.A.S., plays a role in the onset of tic disorders and OCD is a current focus of research
      • This language is not above the level of an average encyclopedia reader: I can't see anything in it that would be changed, and it is language that is repeated to laypersons familiar with TS all the time. Sandy (Talk) 03:35, 20 November 2006 (UTC)
      • That sentence is at level of almost comical propertions. I can actually guess what the words means, but it sounds like something out of a cartoon. Please use the the acronyms, a keep the explainations in linked articles. This whole article is just arrogant in its language. 129.142.143.67 19:11, 30 October 2007 (UTC)
    • reinforce the idea that at least some forms of OCD are etiologically related to TS, and may, therefore, be a variant expression of the same etiologic factors that are important for the expression of tics
      • This is a direct quote, info well known to people familiar with TS, and can't be changed since it's a direct quote: it is paraphrased and explained in the sentence that precedes the quote. Sandy (Talk) 03:37, 20 November 2006 (UTC)
    • The high co-occurrence of ADHD observed in tertiary, referred populations may be an artifact of clinical ascertainment bias
    • Further study is needed to elucidate the genetic relationship between ADHD and Tourette's

I'll keep an eye on the article and put a hold on the nomination to give some time to work out the revisions. Good luck and feel free to ask for clarifications. Neil916 (Talk) 07:47, 18 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the input, Neil916, but there's no need to give it time. As I've explained elsewhere, I did not nominate the article for GA, someone put all the TS daughter articles up for review just as I was traveling and did not have time to finish them, I am the only author, and I don't have time for this polishing/finishing right now. My preference would be to remove them all from GA, and strike all GA templates from the page: I'm not a fan of the entire GA process anyway, and would not have submitted these articles:-) When I have time to polish and finish the article, I will ask for review from the medical project and other copyeditors I know, and not from GA. I'm sorry you had to go to the trouble; thanks again for the input. I will finish these articles when I have time. Sandy (Talk) 14:12, 18 November 2006 (UTC)