User:Carguy454

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Too close for missiles, I'm switching to guns"-Top Gun

Slider: Goose, who's butt did you kiss to get in here anyway? Goose: The list is long, but distinguished. Slider: Yeah, well so is my Johnson. -Top

"I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way." Mark Twain

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.... " Carl Zwanzig

I reject your reality and substitute my own

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin

"I believe, if you do not have anything nice to say, you MUST be talking about a Clinton." - Jeff Foxworthy

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical. Yogi Berra

"A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me." Abraham Lincoln

"Players with smaller bats may need to stand closer to the plate" The sign over the toilet at the batting cages.

Sometimes---the only thing fair in life is a ball between first and third.

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball. ~Jim Murray

There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them work. ~Charlie Lau, 1982

Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything. ~Toby Harrah, 1983

Confucious say: "Baseball wrong - man with four balls cannot walk." ~Author Unknown

"You might be a redneck if you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen Start Your Engines'" - Comedian Jeff Foxworthy

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln

"Second place is just the first loser." Dale Earnhardt

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves - Albert Einstein About Me: Caroholic