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[edit] GA review
- GA review (see here for criteria)
couple of rough spots in the prose, and feels lacking in information not about his life in sport.
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS):
- just a few spots where the prose is a bit rough
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): [[Image:|15px]] b (focused):
- Surely his obituary mentions something else besides his life in sport3a=
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
Comments
- Lead, first paragraph, second sentence "argued to be" seems awkward, perhaps a different wording? "sometimes claimed to be" might work.
Y Done
- Lead, second paragraph, sentence starting "There, as the substitute for the team foil effort..." do you mean he was a last minute substitute? As it reads now, it almost seems to say that he individually was a substitute for the team.
- Y Done Changed to a "substitute on the foil team"
- Lead, second paragraph, next to last sentence, suggest putting "Although he sat out the first two matches with Norway and Spain, he replaced..." in place of the current first phrase.
- Y Done I agree that that is much better.
- Early life, second paragraph. Do you really need the comma between competition and organized in the second sentence?
- Is there nothing on his life outside of sport? It feels lacking in that regard.
- Unfortunately not, which gets to my bigger problem with Olympic athletes, particularly the older ones - they just didn't do all that much that was notable. In fact, I wouldn't have even bothered with Camet had it not been for the Torres article. Basically, after he was done with the Olympics, he went back to being a lawyer as far as I know - I couldn't even find any source that claims he continued his involvement with fencing much longer after the Olympics. The reason why I despise the "anyone in the Olympics gets an article" is that, quite frankly, there are thousands of these people, most of whom do little more than attend the games and go home. But to answer your question, I agree that it is lacking in that regard, but I couldn't find any source (Spanish or English) that claimed that he did anything noteworthy outside of sport. I am aware, of course, that the lack of sources does not excuse a lack of completeness, but hopefully nothing important is missing.
- Y Done
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:14, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review! I think I've done everything, but if there's anything else, please let me know. And if the lack of non-sports stuff in his life is too glaring for it to be passed, then ah well, that's the way things go sometimes. Cheers, CP 23:49, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
- Nah, not for GA. For FA, it'd kill it, probably, but I didnt get the impression you were going for FA on this one.
