User talk:Captainbeefart

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[edit] SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH

Captain Beefart is departing from Wikipedia for an indeterminate period. As they say in the old folk song, "It may be for years and it may be for ever". I have come to the conclusion that writing for Wikipedia is a waste of time. There are too many fools out there. Vandals are easy to deal with. More serious is the plethora of half-educated nongs who understand almost nothing but consider themselves to be shit-hot scholars and editors of the first water. One can spend half a day writing an article only to come back in the evening and find that some clown has gutted it because he thinks it is "too long" or "unimportant" or "point of view" or whatever. These idiots are always deluded, self-satisfied absolutists. They can never be wrong and therefore one can't reason with them.

If Wikipedia has taught me one thing, it is this: almost without exception, these arrogant, self-opinionated, half-educated jokers are from Usania and their high-handedness is matched by an ignorance of and a disdain for the cultural values of anybody else on the planet.

This is a sad but an objective truth. It is backed up by a dispassionate examination of talk pages, not by deluded prejudice.

I am not one to hate but I do seek for understanding and I have come to understand why so many people on our planet hate the U.S.A. Forget about greed and envy and all that twaddle that the press feeds to the mindless. It's about lack of respect. It's about hubris.... "jou akkedis jou groot gevaar ek slaan jou inmekaar"....


Duck Soup This user is a Marxist, of the persuasion Groucho...
Twang Caution! This user has been condemned to a life of levity...


[edit] OLD STUFF

[edit] Gamarama: Gama or da Gama

Hello Captainbeefart! Regarding the use of da Gama or Gama, he would never call himself da Gama. Nobody does that in Portuguese and has never done so in any previous historical period. Check Portuguese name. Cheers! The Ogre 01:59, 25 July 2007 (UTC)

Beefart stands corrected. Or, to be more accurate, slumps corrected. Three litres of port and you're really finished.... Thanks to da Ogre... :) :) :)

There was a previous discussion about the spelling of Vasco da Gama's name in the talk page of the article. At the time, the "Da" was kept, as that seems to be common practice in English. In Portuguese, however, this word is not included when citing the name. Regards. FilipeS 15:03, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Nice polite welcome. Before they found out the horrible truth...

Capt'n! Nice to see you made it ! Welcome to Wikipedia! Wizzy…☎ 05:14, 28 December 2005 (UTC)

Seconded, welcome to wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions, and feel free to drop me a line anytime! Cheers Banes 08:22, 28 December 2005 (UTC)

[edit] Phaic Tăn

I've put in a redirect for Phaik Tan. You look like the kind of person that would be good for wikipedia, so if you need help with anything around here, let me know. Cheers, James. Agnte 18:43, 27 February 2006 (UTC)

[edit] I'd like to know...

...whether it is "Bee fart" or "Beef art"? dewet|™ 14:13, 16 March 2006 (UTC)

Bee Fart says: Definitely hymenopteroid flatus...Captainbeefart 14:29, 16 March 2006 (UTC)

I notice 'Beerfart' on a recent Strand edit - Knysna has a fine brewery if you are down that way. Check the wind direction first. Wizzy…☎ 12:40, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

Mea culpa. Beerphart produces many typos for many reasons. He likes to move fast. He is growing old. He is mildly dyslexic. Most important of all, he has been more or less continuously shitfaced since 1965. Beefrat accepts all criticisms with open arms and tries to analyze all of them logically. Still, he prefers to hear complaints from those who have been stukkend since before Man landed on the Moon and so understand Beeraft's situation... Reefbart thanks Wikkiwizzy for the invitation. He knows Knysna well and was pissed there many times (every time, actually, to tell the truth, since probably well before Wikkiwizzy was born). I admired the majesty of Knysna in the 1950's. I walked a thousand miles in the Tsitsikamma. Unfortunately, Fearbaft does not drink beer. He likes beer but it doesn't like him. He therefore drinks rooi gif. If Wikkiwizzy would therefore care to join Beeefart one night to kill a bottle of Roodeberg, Wikkiwizzy is almost guaranteed an interesting evening. Unfortunately, Beefart now lives in Tasmania. Much as it breaks his heart, he does not have much opportunity to gaze on Knysna heads, either waneer die son so ondergaan, or on top of a half pint. Ah, fuck it! Make that a litre, waiter....Captainbeefart 10:54, 26 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Vaalkat

I hate to add a serious topic to this light-hearted page :) However, I wanted to link "vaalkat" on the Table Mountain page, but the only references I can find to Vaalkat on Google (other than Vaalkat Ravine) are to Wikipedia pages which you created. Does this animal exist, and if so, what is the English translation? Incidentally, I saw a rooikat on Table Mountain about 6 years ago, and a few years ago there was an outcry when someone's dog killed a rooikat on the mountain, so they do still exist. Zaian 12:37, 25 March 2006 (UTC)

Beefart says: Serious is good. Only intellectual posturing by inflated clowns is bad. You are right to raise questions about the Vaalkat. Beefart will fix. See article on Table Mountain. Captainbeefart 10:57, 28 March 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Grammar: None

Just to let you know the deal with the word none: When the subject of a verb is "none of something" or "none of some things", if the something is measurable, then the verb should be singular but if the something is countable, the verb should really be plural. An example of something that would actually be wrong is that "none of the increase in efficiency are worth it" but as animals are countable, rather than measurable, it is quite correct to say "pelycosaurs, pterosaurs and ichthyosaurs - none of these are dinosaurs." Of course, your alternative was also perfectly acceptable, and I think it's generally best practice to avoid any remotely controversial grammar in the way you did. Hope you don't mind me pointing this out and keep up the good work. RupertMillard (Talk) 00:58, 2 May 2006 (UTC)

Beefart disagrees. He has replied on Rupert's page. Captainbeefart 12:27, 2 May 2006 (UTC)

Well, I've learnt something new, so thanks. From thinking I was on solid ground, I'm prepared to agree that you can argue it both ways, not that I'm big on prescribing how people should use language. Having looked at the OED online myself, I wonder if you considered sense 1b. In predicative use, denoting exclusion from a certain class (expressed by a plural or collective noun phrase as complement): not any; not one. I think this is more applicable to the sentence in question than sense 1a: Not any (one) of a number of people or things. I don't really care though. The article is fine. Let's leave it be. RupertMillard (Talk) 09:39, 3 May 2006 (UTC)

How are you these days? Thought you'd be interested to see that the BMJ House Style prescribes none is. So at least for today, I'll be putting that! Actually, I'd rather just avoid it. RupertMillard (Talk) 10:16, 26 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Haha!

I just needed to drop in and convey my astonishment at your great sense of humour throughout your comments and contributions. Keep it up, you make my day! dewet|✉ 14:15, 24 May 2006 (UTC)

[edit] The Barnstar of Good Humour

The Barnstar of Good Humor
A few weeks ago, you passed a few "interesting" comments about me. Looking further into your history, I have found a multitude of randomly funny quotes. So here, I think (despite feeling slightly offended) you deserve this. Congratulations! Just don't let me be your next victim!!! -- Chris Lester talk 18:04, 24 May 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Maatsuyker

Thanks for the compliment on Maatsuyker Islands, Beefart. I've seen how you swoop on typos, so I'll try and keep the eyes i's dotted. --Phaedrus86 00:29, 25 July 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Terry Marchant

The article Terry Marchant has been or soon will be deleted from Wikipedia. This happened because the article seems to be about a subject but it does not indicate how or why the subject is notable. If you can indicate why the subject is really notable, you are free to re-create the article, making sure to cite any verifiable sources. Feel free to leave a note on my talk page if you have any questions about this. You might also want to read our criteria for speedy deletion, particularly item 7 under Articles. NawlinWiki 17:40, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Beefart responds: Notable? He was a South African. You are a Usanian. How the hell would you know?....

[edit] Finch and Henson

Here's their website. It lists albums back to the 70s. The one you cite is not listed. Please do not add data to Wikipedia without a reference to verify the data. - UtherSRG (talk) 15:08, 22 March 2007 (UTC)

Also, please properly sign your talk edits with ~~~~. - UtherSRG (talk) 15:10, 22 March 2007 (UTC)

Hi Captain, I noticed your beef about Orangutans. The same website refers to the album Harambee by Kenny Henson, mentioning a track Orangoutang (possibly a typo). It doesn't seem to be significant enough for a disambiguation link on the Orangutan page though. Keep well! Zaian 12:27, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

Beefart says: Fair enough. Thanks Zaian.

[edit] Night of the Living Dead

Welcome!

Hello, Captainbeefart, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are some pages that you might find helpful:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being a Wikipedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~); this will automatically produce your name and the date. If you need help, check out Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on my talk page, or ask your question and then place {{helpme}} after the question on your talk page. Again, welcome! 

Beefart says: Sign? Where did you sign?...

??Sign?? They are/is probably a member of the Groucho Marx organisation that wouldnt have him/her/it as the/a member. I think your talk page entry to Huonville (the late franko zpiita would have found it very close to centreville no doubt) should be on a t-short (sic) , or a poster - to paraphrase the late Douglas Adams invention of the Vogon capitian - instead of 'death is too good for them' 'wikipedia is not good enough for that' - it boggles the intestinal fortitude of a run of mill editor to grasp the sheer brilliance/idiocy/strangeness of the occasional edit one finds. SatuSuro 14:53, 4 May 2007 (UTC)

Beefart replies. Ah, yes. Now all I have to do is figure out whether that was a compliment or an insult...

If you cannot tell - to translate - your entry on Huonville (aka centreville in Zappa speak) - is brilliant and you deserve a zapped heart star (if one existed) SatuSuro 14:24, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

Beefart, humbled, replies: Well, thank you kindly. You are most generous. Obviously wise and devilishly handsome to boot. I need all the friends I can get at Wikipedia coz mostly, rather than being offered Zapped Heart Stars, I usually end up with Zapped Anus Scars. I console myself with fluffy brown pancakes from St. Alphonso's.....

Tireless Contributor Barnstar Award
Sats, one of the nuisance (unwise) eds (and bald to boot) of the Indonesian Project is in awe of your humour - and feels that some part of your talk or user page should infested with a truly fully rotational and motioned star that reflects the contrapuntal captain beefheart atonality so typical of trout mask replica tracks - and hopes that continued insistence of understanding and accuracy in the Tasmania project is sustained with good humour and adequate use of reasonable sources and knowledge - a bit unlike the late douglas adams's vogon chiefs understanding of literary criticism and the use of irony SatuSuro 15:02, 3 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Your extremely rude edit summary

Your rude change summary about a "dickhead from usania" was extremely rude. I expect an apology for your conduct. --Thomas.macmillan 16:17, 26 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] NEW STUFF

Good to see your magnificent punctuation pen on the traps again - as for the twentieth century punctuation monster - I suspect you will not get angry talk page messages requiring Lentan penance and penitence and prognostications upon the possibility that your parsing a sentence on the top of mount ossa might create the inevitable death of civilisation as we know it - why the almost melted artic ice cap might have more import than a comma on mount ossa - cheers and happy new year to you (or should be that happy christmas past) SatuSuro 13:20, 19 March 2008 (UTC)