Captain Paf

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Captain Paf (also known as Cardinal Puff or Cardinal Chunder in Britain and Cardinal Puff the United States, Cardinal Huff in New Zealand) is a French drinking game based on a script that must be executed in order for play to move to the next person. Any interruption or error in the script causes the player to start over from the beginning. Therefore, a player only stops drinking when the script can be perfectly executed.

Due to possible long wait times between when you are allowed to drink, this game is more suited for a small group. It can also be played backwards to make it harder.

The game (as "Cardinal Puff") was featured in Fallen Idol, an episode of the British sitcom Dad's Army.

[edit] Captain Paf script

Say "My name is Captain Paf and I drink for the first time"
Raise glass using thumb and index finger
Take one sip
Tap glass once on table
Clap once
Slap thighs once

Say "My name is Captain Paf and I drink for the second time"
Raise glass between thumb, index and middle fingers
Take two distinct sips
Tap glass twice on table
Clap twice
Slap thighs twice

Say "My name is Captain Paf and I drink for the third time"
Raise glass between thumb, index, middle, and ring fingers
Take three distinct sips
Tap glass thrice on table
Clap thrice
Slap thighs thrice

Note that when picking up your glass the number of fingers used (except thumb) is the number of the iteration through the script. This is the most common mistake.

[edit] Cardinal Puff script

An entire can or bottle of beer must be consumed (in x sips) when performing the actions. Any deviation from the requirements automatically prevents the player from playing until the offending container of beer has been consumed. A new beverage is required every time a player attempts the script. If a player is successful, they are awarded the title of "Cardinal." Note that the title of Cardinal can only be awarded by another Cardinal.

Say "Here's to the Cardinal Puff for the first time tonight"
Slap left side of your chest with your right hand once
Slap right side of your chest with your left hand once
Slap right thigh with right hand once
Slap left thigh with left hand once
Stomp right foot once
Stomp left foot once
Tap side of the glass once
Take one sip
Tap glass once on table
Place the glass back down

Say "Here's to the Cardinal Puff for the second time tonight"
Slap left side of your chest with your right hand twice
Slap right side of your chest with your left hand twice
Slap right thigh with right hand twice
Slap left thigh with left hand twice
Stomp right foot twice
Stomp left foot twice
Tap side of the glass twice
Take two sips
Tap glass twice on table
Place the glass back down

Say "Here's to the Cardinal Puff for the third and final time tonight"
Slap left side of your chest with your right hand thrice
Slap right side of your chest with your left hand thrice
Slap right thigh with right hand thrice
Slap left thigh with left hand thrice
Stomp right foot thrice
Stomp left foot thrice
Tap side of the glass thrice
Take three sips
Tap glass thrice on table
Say "Once a Cardinal," while turning the can upside down to demonstrate it is empty.
Say "Always a Cardinal," while turning the can rightside up.

Rule variations from Captain Puf:

Finger placement while sipping does not matter
Any mistakes made and the player must finish his glass and start over
The glass must be finished by the end of the execution of the script otherwise the player has to start over

Cardinal Puff, And Bishop Puff Variants--------------------

Here's a variant form of Cardinal, that is just as hard, but condensed somewhat.

All players must first, with a Cardinal PRESENT (teaching the game), agree from this moment on to play the game FOREVER! Since the game will never stop. Part of the agreement is, on the Cardinal's behalf to teach everyone the game, give helpful hints after mistakes are made, and make sure everyone reaches the rank of Cardinal....eventually. From this moment, if you achieve Cardinal status (granted by the present Cardinal), you will be asked to respond to the question, "Are you a Cardinal?" To which the only correct, response is, "You bet your sweet ass I am." Failure to answer this question correctly, grants the asker, the right to force you to consume 1 twelve ounce glass of adult beverage of your choosing. It must be consumed all in one sip, i.e. you may not take the container away from your lips until it is empty. You may take as long as you like to consume it, even pausing to breathe, but you MUST FINISH THE BEVERAGE. Failure to comply with this request from a confirmed Cardinal will result in losing your rank of Cardinal. Once everyone agrees to these rules which are always in effect, even when you are not sitting at a table playing the actual script, then the game begins. Any players who do not wish to agree to the ongoing aspect of the game, is asked to leave the table, and informed, that if they leave, this Cardinal will never ask him/her to play the game again, ever.

Script Variation.

Determine a starting player, AFTER the Cardinal has demonstrated the script. Ways to do this are, oldest player at the table, youngest player, player who has the most country stamps on his/her passport, dice, coin flip etc.

The starting player must then execute IN EXACT ORDER the following script and actions. Failure to do so results in losing your turn, and you must consume ALL the remaining liquid of your beverage right then, without taking the container away from your lips, and you must do it as fast as possible, since the next player cannot begin until YOU finish.

Script:

1) Say, "This is Cardinal Puff taking his FIRST drink of the evening." (As the teaching Cardinal you may hold up one finger as a helpful hint to new players. But it is not required, you are required however, to stop any player immediately upon a mistake, make them drink, and point to the next player.)

2) ACTION: With your forefinger and thumb lift the beverage and consume, ONE SIP. Your sip may be as big or as little as you wish but, you may only touch the container to your lips ONE TIME. Tap the container on the table as you place it down. HINT: You are required through the actions of the game to consume the ENTIRE 12 ounces within 6 sips. That is to say the container is only going to touch your lips 6 times during the game. So the more you consume in the first few sips, will make it easier to finish the beverage.

3) ACTION: With your right index finger, tap the top of the table ONCE. Then with your left index finger, tap the top of the table ONCE. Then again with your right index finger, tap the underside of the table ONCE, repeat with your left index finger. Leave them both there as you'll need them for balance in the next action.

4) Stand up from your seat ONCE.

5) Say, "This is Cardinal Puff taking his SECOND drink of the evening."

6) ACTION: With your forefinger, middle finger and thumb lift the beverage and consume, TWO SIPS. Your sips may be as big or as little as you wish but, you may only touch the container to your lips TWO TIMES. Tap the container TWICE on the table as you place it down.

7) ACTION: With your right index and middle fingers, tap the top of the table TWICE. Then with your left index and middle fingers, tap the top of the table TWICE. Then again with your right index and middle fingers, tap the underside of the table TWICE, repeat with your left index and middle fingers. Leave them all there as you'll need them for balance in the next action.

8) Stand up from your seat TWICE.

9) Say, "This is Cardinal Puff taking his THIRD AND FINAL drink of the evening."

10) ACTION: With your forefinger, middle finger, ring finger and thumb lift the beverage and consume, THREE SIPS. Your sips may be as big or as little as you wish but, you may only touch the container to your lips THREE TIMES. YOUR BEVERAGE MUST BE FULLY CONSUMED AT THIS POINT OR YOU FAIL, AND MUST START OVER. Tap the container THRICE on the table as you place it down.

11) ACTION: With your right index, middle and ring fingers, tap the top of the table THREE TIMES. Then with your left index, middle and ring fingers, tap the top of the table THREE TIMES. Then again with your right index, middle and ring fingers, tap the underside of the table THREE TIMES, repeat with your left index, middle and ring fingers. Leave them all there as you'll need them for balance in the next action.

12) Stand up from your seat THREE TIMES.

13) FINAL STEP: After the THIRD sitting, repeat the following script and actions SIMULTANEOUSLY and EXACTLY or you fail, and must try again....it is up to the Cardinal judging you, to decide if you should consume another....if you truly finished the beer, but just messed up the final phase, the Cardinal can (and probably should) consider your effort as valiant, and show leniency.

Say, "Once a Cardinal..." While at the same time with your preferred hand PALM UP, turn the container over onto it's top. Then continue with, "...Always a Cardinal." While again, simultaneously lifting the container, again PALM UP and rotate the glass in the OPPOSITE direction from when you flipped it the first time. That is, if you lifted it and flipped it to your left, on the second flip pick it up and flip it to your right. This is to show to all, the container has indeed been fully drained. Some wetness is expected, but anything more than a sip spilling out, constitutes failure. Failure at this point, may require you to consume another full 12 ounce beer.

Now if you've SUCCESSFULLY completed all these tasks, the Cardinal will grant you the rank of Cardinal. He will then inform you that if he sees you again, and asks you the question, "Are you a Cardinal?" And you do not respond with the proper reply, "You bet your sweet ass I am." He will then be forced to ask you to consume a full 12 ounce beer RIGHT THEN! Failure to comply will result in his demoting you from the rank of Cardinal.

Any mistake made during any part of the script or actions, will result in the Cardinal telling you to stop, finish your beer (or consume a new full 12 ounces, if your glass is less than 1/3RD full) and point to the next player to get ready to start, once the previous player has consumed their penalty. Anyone who is caught distracting a player during the script will be asked to consume a full beer right then, in one sip. If a player breaks this rule 3 times, they are asked to leave, and never invited to play again....ever.

Bishop Puff Variation.

The script and rules above all apply, however the container size differs. Instead of one 12 ounce beverage, the players will be consuming one (1) full pitcher of liquid. Or the equivalent of one 6-pack. The FINAL question is changed to: "Are you a Bishop?" however, the response remains the same as above.

Pope Puff Variation.

Same rules as applied to Cardinal and Bishop variations, however again the quantity and questions are slightly altered. Instead of a pitcher, or 6-pack, the players will now attempt to consume a FULL CASE of beer (24 Twelve Ounce containers). The ENTIRE case must be poured into ONE container, or as few containers as possible to hold all the liquid. The FINAL question is now: "Are you the Pope?" The response again, is the same as before.

God Variation.

Same as all the other applications, but now we're up from a case to a keg, 1/4 barrel size will suffice. This variation is impossible to complete.

Alternate Liquids.

Although beer is the usual choice, any liquid can be used instead. But be responsible, the harder the liquid, the more dangerous. Drink responsibly, and if someone becomes too intoxicated, as the teaching Cardinal, you can tell them they cannot achieve the rank of Cardinal this time, but can try again, once fully recovered from their intoxication.