User:Cancer.Man.9
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Contents |
[edit] Cancer.Man.9 can no longer be deleted as security measures have been taken to ensure the long standing success of the page that reportedly started it all…
[edit] How The Story Goes...
Cancer.Man.9 is an immortal being who has survived numerous blows to his Wikipedia page (and left shoulder). After the 2003 Wikipedia Massacre (in which 2642.5 user pages were deleted), Cancer.Man.9 declared war on Wikipedia Vandals. The Vandals responded to this by deleting his page.Cancer.Man.9 quickly restored his page, but the Vandals struck again, once again deleting his user page. This continued for some time, until the Vandals became victorious and drove Cancer.Man.9 insane.
On the 10th of June 2004 Cancer.Man.9 disappeared from the mental hospital he was residing in.
Authorities remained puzzled on how Cancer.Man.9 escaped until another patient named John Smith came forward with some vital information. John Smith claimed that while he was in his room eating Apricots and drinking Steve, he witnessed Cancer.Man.9 being abducted by aliens. Though many discredit John Smith’s claims because of the fact that he is mentally challenged and has frequently made other outlandish claims (he once stated that George Lucas originally wanted Harrison Ford to play Jabba the Hutt and not Han Solo), the authorities believed him because he was their only lead.
Their efforts proved unsuccessful, and many came to the conclusion that Cancer.Man.9 was most likely dead.
In the summer of 2005 something unexpected happened…
The Cancer.Man.9 user page was restored. This was followed by numerous sightings of Cancer.Man.9 (some of which described him as a batman like creature). Many prolific Wikipedia Vandals were being murdered. The National death toll was going up while the rate of vandalism on Wikipedia was going down. These events started speculation that Cancer.Man.9 was back and extracting his revenge on those who had taken so much from him.
On the 10th of June 2005 the rumors were confirmed. Cancer.Man.9, now dressed as a superhero and killing Wikipedia vandals daily had returned. In an interview with the vampire, Cancer.Man.9 described his long and dangerous journey that had made him stronger than ever before.
[edit] His name
Ever since Cancer.Man.9 created his user page, there has been speculation about his name. Many people have claimed that he may have cancer, and thus the name Cancer.Man.9. When asked if he had cancer, Cancer.Man.9 is usually quoted as saying 'No! I got the name off 'The X Files'... You know the Cancer Man'. It is now widely believed that Cancer.Man.9 took his name from 'The X Files' character Cigarette Smoking Man aka Cancer Man then added the 9 for unknown reasons(some people, such as John 'I'm A Dope' Smith believe that 9 may be his favourite number, others disagree.
[edit] Criminal Record:
The following was 'borrowed' from the Cranbourne Police Station on the 3rd of April 2008.
0.1 accounts of robbery(he once took 2 free samples from a 'take one' free sample box).
2754(and counting) Wikipedia Vandals killed (this does not count as murder as Wikipedia Vandals are not real people).
1 account of pissing a federal judge off. He called his daughter fat (In other words, he got in trouble for telling the truth).
[edit] Sightings Since 2005 Revivial:
[edit] Confirmed Sightings:
Sighted in an interview with the vampire desribing long, dangerous, boring and erotic journey.
Sighted inpersonating Dr Phil. Repetedly used the words 'My Mamma used to say'.
[edit] Alleged Sightings:
A metally challenged child named John 'I'm a dope' Smith claimed to have see Cancer.Man.9 though his telescope around 3pm. Later reports found that 'Dopey' did not even own a telescope, nor have the brain cappacity to use one affectivly.
