User:Caleb Cox
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Caleb Cox is a 23 year old semi professional musician living in London. His music is a mix of Hiphop, Rock, Ska and Electro and is never really constricted to one genre. You can see him perform in the near future at various events- look out for him and his invisible band InstinctiveXpression. He is in no way related to the most probably entirely fictional Caleb Cox who, as described below was bought up by clowns...
Caleb Cox was born to a group of city-traveling clown-dancers that made a living dressing as clowns and performing exotic dances in the street of urban cities. The clown-dancers raised Caleb as though he were their own. Sadly, Caleb Cox was lost in a illegal hopscotch competition by his biological parents who were in the sale of third rate salami products. Caleb grew up in the dancer's wagon and learned to belly dance by his adoptive parents, all 38 of them. At the age of 6, Caleb's circus-like parents decided it was time for Caleb to go to a regular school in a small town known as Chatham. That was a mistake, due to Caleb's unsightly body hair, facial acne, hair down to his ankle that was infested with human fleas and covered in a disgusting blanket of what appeared to be animal defecation. Also his 13 year old overalls did not help his situation. He would be ridiculed for the rest of his life. His first day was full of mean jokes, pranks, and hair-pulling contests. Unfortunately, the teacher laughed along with the bullies and actually encouraged this bad behavior ans actually joined some of the mean pranks. When Caleb got home, he told his two closest family dancers his predicament. The clowns knew exactly what to do. They planned a short show at his school to show that Caleb was not a freak, loser, idiot, imbecile,weirdo, freak-a-zoid, clumsy fool, and a long-hair stupid, hippy-like, platypus faced, wart covered, smelly, she/he child. The show was a big hit, but actually made Caleb look more of a freak, outcast, loser, idiot, imbecile,weirdo, freak-a-zoid, clumsy fool, and a long-hair stupid, hippy-like, platypus faced, wart covered, smelly, she/he child. This continued until Caleb realized all he had to do was get a haircut, bathe, trim his nails, shave off his disgustingly thick uni-brow, shave his: arms, armpits, legs, hands, chest, stomach, elbows, and his beard, buy some new clothes, shoes, get some facial acne cleaner, and wax his back. After the several hours (cough, 37 days, cough) that it took his parents and the few people who could help and weren't sickened by Caleb's appearance, he finally looked like a normal child, except his massive feet. Those feet were monsters! People who saw him without his custom shoes were so sickened that they.......died and then exploded...... and then exploded again. Finally Caleb was ready to go to school again as a normal boy/,girl (I will refer to Caleb's "problem" as Hermie instead of him being a boy/girl, so he's a "Hermie" short for hermaphrodite like Carrot Top and maybe even Mr. T....) Well anyway after his first grueling year as a 1st grader. (they "allowed" Caleb [more like made] to skip Kindergarten due to all of the kids passing out into a coma because of Caleb monstrous feet, which he didn't cover with his custom shoes) During the summer break, Caleb finally perfected his strange but somewhat attractive (if you're a homosexual, transexual, bisexual,hermaphrodite or a combination of the four) His day o 2nd grade was a beter one than 1st grade, he actually made it 2 whole minutes (beating his previous record by 1 minute and 54 seconds!) without someone shouting out a insultive statement toward him, but luckily a young boy(maybe it was a girl, or a "hermie" hmmmm. His name: Ryan "Susan" Daniel Hobbs. young Ryan/Susan (now called "Rusan or maybe Suan" hmmmm maybe just Ryan) defended Caleb with a flurry of well placed slaps and screams, but those "attacks" didn't hurt the "bully" who was actually the teacher's (remaining anonymous) 6 month old child, who cried out weirdo. Fortuantely Ryan and Caleb were only half beaten to unconsciousness by the baby before the baby threw down his rattle and performed a natural "call to nature" in her diaper. The teacher calmly helped the children up. (Later when CAleb asked why the Teacher "Mrs. Q" didn't stop her 6 month old baby from attacking them, she merely smiled and held back a chuckle. We later found out that she left the room to go into the hallway and then laughed uncontrollably for about 5 minutes before she retrieved her composure) Caleb finally found a friend, who was Ryan Hobbs. They became the best of friends, playing ball in the park, swimming, frolicing in the flowers, doing homework, doing arts and crafts, reading, playing tag, swinging, huddling together in the rain, talking about boys in their class, camping out in Caleb's backyard wearing only a pair of saran-wrap loinclothes ( Caleb was Tarzan while Ryan was "John" instead of Jane), and other half homosexual activities.
During the 7th grade, Caleb wrote the famous song, Hit me Baby One More Time Oh Ya Right There You Slimebag. He even submitted it to Britney Spears,who actually liked it, but she cut out all of homosexuality.
As an adult, Caleb has enjoyed a mildly successful career in a sandwich naming business. Even though I just lied by telling you that it is in any way successful, he is in that profession. No one has agreed and accepted any of his ideas, such as the Cranberry Yogurt and Ham Supreme , the Rice and Grapes Gargantuan, and his infamous chicken, salsa , doughnut , french fry, juice, awesome-burger. Due to the low income and lack of commission pay, Caleb must work a second job in the unglamorous world of shock site participation. With the magic of special effects and make-up, Caleb has starred in several shock sites without his actual identity revealed. He is a bloggerpal , a tubgirl, a lemon party goer , topless , mudfalled , and a cup chick. He also has submitted several articles of his own feces on the site , Drnatura.com It is sickening.
Living at home with his beloved yet illegal bride Ryan Hobbs, Caleb enjoys sewing, cooking, baking, and even hosting his own parties, most involving: feces and/or juices from an orange. Ryan Hobbs enjoys water sports and visits "trainers" in many occasions.
Though it is impossible for two males to procreate, Ryan and Caleb have 3 children. Ace Fiendto, 12, Cafe Dontie , 8, and Ocean Defti ,4. After several sheets of paper and 15 pencils, I came to realize that all those names are anagrams. Strange indeed. Stranger is the fact that both Ryan and Caleb so not have conventional human reproductive organs but have primitive cloacas.
