Talk:Buster Smith
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[edit] GA nomination on hold
Please leave a note on my talk page when you're done with this stuff - cheers, — Dihydrogen Monoxide 23:01, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
- "Smith was injured in an accident leading to never releasing a second solo album." - In the context of the previous sentence ("...only recorded one solo album in 1959") this sounds a bit clunky. Suggest rewording to "Smith was injured in an accident and was never able to achieve this ambition)
- Ref 1 needs better {{cite web}} style formatting
- "In 1923, he began his professional music career playing alto saxophone with the medicine shows, though he had to play very loudly to draw in more customers" - What, oh what, are the medicine shows?
- "the Blue Devils 1925" --> "the Blue Devils in 1925"
- "bringin all of its members into prominence" - typo, should be "bringing"
- "Smith briefly continued with the group when Basie and Page left. Smith and Basie then departed from the group to form..." - Huh? It seems Basie left and Smith stayed with the group, but then Basie and Smith left the group together...did Basie rejoin the group or something? Clarify
- "This sound was later labeled the Texas Sax Sound. Smith gained a great amount of influence in the Texan music community and industry. Smith mentored legendary saxophonist Charlie Parker during the 1930s, developing a father-son relationship through his mentorship." - {{fact}}
- "He also aided old Dallas friend, Charlie Christian, in his saxophone playing before Christian joined Benny Goodman's band" - Replace "He" with "Smith"
- "Despite the civil rights issues of the time, Smith received much respect, despite being an African American." - Overuse of "despite". Suggest rewording to "Smith, as an African American, received much respect at the time, despite the civil rights issues taking place." (or something like that)
- 2nd paragraph of "Peak success" section needs better sourcing/referencing
- Move ref 3 to the end of the sentence
- It wouldn't hurt, in the "Solo career" section, to actually note the album he produced in those sessions.
- "In the 1960s, Smith was involved in auto accident, in which he was injured and no longer able to play the saxophone. In order to continue playing music, he started to play the bass guitar throughout Dallas and remained a presence in the Dallas musical community. Buster led a dance music band until 1980. Smith died in Dallas on 10 August 1991 of a heart attack." - Citations needed
Reviewed version: [1]
good luck, — Dihydrogen Monoxide 23:01, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
- All points addressed, except the point about Ref #1, as the page the source is taken from indicates any citations given are to be in that format (see the source to see what I mean). Were it not that they requested it to be so particular, I'd use a ciation template, like the rest, but they are. Otherwise, it's all done. --lincalinca 12:23, 25 December 2007 (UTC)
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- "The following, adapted from the Chicago Manual of Style, 15th edition, is the preferred citation for this article." (emphasis mine) - I see no problem with citing however you like. Nonetheless I'm passing the article now. — Dihydrogen Monoxide (Review) 22:47, 25 December 2007 (UTC)
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