User talk:Bucknasty7
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Good work on the Affluenza page. The comma insertions and deletions are fine, aside from the last. I would revise the final sentence of the first paragraph as follows:
"... success they have been so vigorously chasing leaves them feeling unfulfilled, wishing for yet more wealth, and sometimes addicted to their economic pursuits."
The only other conflict I find is with the final change you made. It's not the environmental strains that are diminishing the natural resources, but strains on already diminishing environmental and natural resources. Mcwabaunsee 00:47, 12 October 2007 (UTC) In fact, "strains," as it's used in the sentence you corrected, functions as a verb, not a noun. Mcwabaunsee 21:08, 13 November 2007 (UTC)
Contents |
[edit] Ron Paul
Perhaps put this information in a footnote? "Information provided by the website open secrets.org supports this fact." And this info isn't necessary in this section: "This site is dedicated to providing information about the money exchanged during political campaigns." "...make up 95% of the total amount of money raised during his career..." His political career? "The significance of this is that it shows Ron Paul's political positions are in line with the personal opinions held by many politically minded individuals around the country." Only in very general terms--who are the contributors? What are there political interests and affiliations?
[edit] MPRI
"...for its actions handling some contracts it has been given." Last four words seem unnecessary. "...the lose of hundreds..." the "loss" "...who also demanded" "also" is prob. unnecessary
[edit] Akin Gump Strauss Haver & Feld
this section is too thin
[edit] Patton Boggs
Can you organize your separate entry into more specific categories? Think about where future comments could be added.
Mcwabaunsee 21:08, 13 November 2007 (UTC)
