Talk:Bruces' Philosophers Song

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I thought is was: 'drink you under the table' It is a drinking song, after all. Bruce would agree with me. – Webhat

In The Fairly Incomplete and Rather Badly Illustrated Monty Python Song Book the lines are "think you under the table" and "Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel". Dunno if that helps. Acanon 01:45, 27 Sep 2004 (UTC)
Amended lyrics. I'm almost certain it's "think you under the table". Which makes sense as it's mixing thinking into a drinking expression in much the same way as "drink therefore I am" mixes drinking into a thinking expression. --Plumbago 14:01, 9 January 2006 (UTC)
Well it wouldn't be nearly as funny if it didn't say "think" where you'd expect "drink" and vice versa, now would it? JIP | Talk 18:20, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

Are the lyrics copyright-free?Jorge Stolfi 12:11, 19 Mar 2004 (UTC)

No of course not. Justinc 12:57, 24 November 2005 (UTC)

I don't see any reason not to have the full lyrics of the song and have therefore reinstated them Arthur Holland

Because they are a copyright violation. Justinc 12:57, 24 November 2005 (UTC)

The version of the Bruces' Song on "Monty Python - Live at Drury Lane" uses "Both Schopenhauer and Hegel" as the sixth line. It also gives line 17 as "Hobbes was fond of his Dram". Of course, this was a live performance, so it may be different (like the names of the candidates on the Election Night Special) --Random Kingdom 23:30, 12 November 2005 (UTC)


Since when has there been any dispute about whether it was Eric Hoffer or Thomas Hobbes the Pythons were referring to? For a start, the lyrics were published in the Monty Python Papperbok (aka Big Red Book) in the early 70s, where it was Hobbes. I find it highly unlikely that the Pythons would have heard of Hoffer in any case, never mind the fact that he wasn't really a philosopher. Is it only Americans who suffer from this confusion? Lexo 17:46, 6 February 2007 (UTC)


How do I sing the line "John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy was particulary ill"? The bit up to "free will" goes easily along with the tune, but how does the rest fit in? Could someone show me the proper tone division? It is the only line in the entire song that I can't sing just by reading the text. JIP | Talk 17:52, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

  • Find a copy of the Monty Python Hollywood Bowl concert and it will become clear to you. You have to run the second half of the sentence together to make it fit. Wahkeenah 17:56, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

[edit] For the record

Bruces' Philosophers Song [1]

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, [some versions have 'Schopenhauer and Hegel']

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.