User:Bardiak/Sandbox3
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University of Western Topeka | |
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Motto: | "Quackus Del Quackero" ("The One Who Quacks the Loudest Quacks the Best") "Quack Your Way To Success" |
Established: | 1978 |
Type: | Public |
Endowment: | US$1.22 annually[1] |
President: | Alex LeRoux |
Faculty: | 4[2] |
Undergraduates: | 34 |
Postgraduates: | 15 |
Location: | Topeka, Kansas, United States |
Campus: | 3.14 acres2 |
Colors: | Garnet and Yellow-Orange |
Nickname: | The Ducks |
Mascot: | Daffy |
Website: | http://www.uwt.sitesonabudget.com |
The University of Western Topeka is a 4 year fake university based in Topeka, Kansas. In May 2008, Fake Universities Magazine ranked the University of Western Topeka the number one school on Geno Street on the eastern side of western Topeka.
Contents[hide] |
[edit] History
The University of Western Topeka was founded in 1978 by an unemployed man who snuck in to a university laboratory to sleep and, because he had nothing to entertain himself with, read chemistry textbooks through the night and could teach at a college level by morning. He offered his services through a post-it note at a grocery store community events board, and from there the university was born.
In early 2008, many high-level university officials were shuffled around in their positions, resulting in President Brenden McVay assuming the role of athletic director with Alex LeRoux being named the new president. New deans were named for several departments.
[edit] Colleges
Academics at UWT are separated into different colleges to provide the maximum amount of attention to both the individual student and his degree path. When the university opened in 1978, only two colleges existed in the school. Today, that number has tripled to over 3. The colleges at UWT are:
- College of Everything That Has To Do With Kids
- College of Math, Reading, Science, Journalism, Government, History, and Engineering
- College of Agriculture and Rocket Science
- College of Things Not Covered By The Other Three Colleges
[edit] Tuition
The University does its best to make tuition costs affordable. The current tuition costs for academic years up to 2012 is $17.99 per semester for Kansas residents and $18.01 for non-residents. If an international student wishes to attend UWT, in most cases the school will give them a full scholarship and a copy of the movie Coming to America, starring Eddie Murphy.
[edit] Clubs and Organizations
The University of Western Topeka offers over four club for students to join, such as the Microwavable Popcorn Appreciation Club, Young Libretarians, Students Against Stupid Homework (SASH), and the Society of Crate Collecters.
[edit] Dining
The Kansas Zoo is located three blocks from the campus. Vegetarian options include the grass that grows in the vacant lot across the street. Students are prohibited from eating landscaping within campus boundries.
[edit] Athletics
The athletics department at UWT is headed by former university president Brenden McVay. The department strives to provide the greatest range of activities for students to take part in. he home field of all outdoor sports teams at UWT is Rønning Field. Sports at the UWT include:
- Baseball
- Basketball
- Football
- Soccer
- Hockey
- Ice Skating
- Volleyball
- Wrestling
- Lacrosse
- Polo
- Arm Wrestling
- Karate
- Golf
- Swimming
- Car Throwing
- Rugby
- Archery
- Hot Dog Eating
- Track
- Competitive Lawn Mowing
- Cricket
- Speed Stapling
- Table Tennis
- Cupstacking
- Tennis
- Dominoes
- Birdwatching
- Diaper Changing (In partnership with the College of Everything That Has To Do With Kids)
Until 2008:
- Breath Holding
[edit] Criticism
The quality of instruction has been criticized after it was discovered that most professors turn down the university's teaching jobs because of the low pay. It is understood that most qualified college professors will not accept a minimum wage salary. The University counters with the fact that it is the most affordable university in the United States, and must work hard to keep costs low and maintain this title.
[edit] Notable Alumni
- Vladsko Arshaveev - Head Dog Catcher, City of Murmansk, Russia
- Wayne Gerrard - Critically acknowledged director (Titanic: The Animated Series, Nearly Enough Dalmations, Harry Potter and the Urinal of Wisdom)
- John Aidepi - Most frequently seen person in the background of live news reports in North America
- Alex "Rainbow Brite" Packard - Miss Sun Tomato 2008's cab driver (from the fairground to her house)