Barely Legal (Family Guy)

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“Barely Legal”
Family Guy episode
Quahog's new police force finds Meg trying to seduce Brian.
Episode no.	Season 5 Episode 8
Written by	Kirker Butler
Directed by	Zac Moncrief
Guest stars	Drew Barrymore Garrett Morris
Production no.	5ACX03
Original airdate	December 17, 2006
Season 5 episodes
Family Guy - Season 5 September 10, 2006 – May 20, 2007
Stewie Loves Lois Mother Tucker Hell Comes to Quahog Saving Private Brian Whistle While Your Wife Works Prick Up Your Ears Chick Cancer Barely Legal Road to Rupert Peter's Two Dads The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou Airport '07 Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey No Meals on Wheels Boys Do Cry No Chris Left Behind It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One Meet the Quagmires

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List of Family Guy episodes

"Barely Legal" is the eighth episode of season five of Family Guy. The title references the term used in pornography advertising to describe models who have only recently reached the legal age for having sex.

1 Plot summary
2 Censorship
3 Cultural references
4 References
5 External links

[edit] Plot summary

After Mayor West deploys the entire Quahog Police Department to Cartagena, Colombia to search for a character from Romancing the Stone, Joe becomes bogged down at work, being the only officer not sent to Colombia (South America "isn't wheelchair accessible"). Because of this, Peter and the guys decide to become police officers to help Joe.

Meanwhile, Meg comes home from school threatening to commit suicide because she does not have a date for her Junior Prom (the last boy she asked shot and killed his little brother as an excuse). She then claims that it's because she's "so fat and gross" (exaggerating her chubbiness) and gets a knife. As a last resort, Brian agrees to take her. Brian hides his unhappiness in attending by getting drunk, but near the end of the night in the course of defending Meg, he manages to bring Connie D'Amico down a level by stating that Connie picks on Meg because Connie herself is so insecure that she whores herself out and makes fun of girls who aren't as pretty as her to avoid the inevitable fate that by the time Connie is 19, she'll be "a chalky-skinned burlap sack that even [her] stepfather won't want." After Connie runs away crying, Brian tells Meg that she doesn't deserve the crap she gets. Brian and Meg then make out with each other.

Meg and Brian slow-dancing.

After the dance, Meg begins to consider Brian her boyfriend, but Brian tells her he has no intentions to date her. Because of this, Meg becomes obsessed with Brian and begins to make bizarre advances at him (such as making an apple pie with her hair baked inside or opening and closing the lights while listening to opera music with a collar on her neck). Feeling that he's losing control of the situation, Brian tells Lois about Meg and how she loves him because he made out with her at the prom. As expected, Lois is furious and orders Brian to set things right, though she does not believe what Brian says about Meg is true. Even after Brian tells Meg that he will never be attracted to her, she knocks him out with a bag of Dog Chow, ties him up, puts him in his car trunk and drives away.

The next morning, Peter, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire are spying on Bonnie stripping. Chris reveals to Lois, who is worried sick about the two, he saw Meg kidnap Brian the other night (he didn't say anything earlier because he was buried in paperwork for the last 72 hours). Horrified, Lois realizes Brian was telling the truth about Meg's condition and asks Peter and the others to find them.

Meg holds Brian hostage in a nearby hotel and attempts to have sex with him, but is stopped by Peter and the others. Lois tries in vain to convince Meg to let Brian go until Quagmire then offers his services to straighten Meg out. Meg comes to his house and, instead of sleeping with her as initially implied (although he is in his underwear the whole time), he has a heart-to-heart talk with her, explaining that she doesn't need to have a boyfriend to have fun as a teenager and gives her a book, Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece, to guide her. He then heads into one of his bedrooms, where two women are waiting for him. The episode ends as he puts a ball gag in his mouth.

[edit] Censorship

The following scenes have been cut and/or altered when shown on FOX, but restored on Adult Swim/DVD:

This section may require cleanup to meet Wikipedia's quality standards.
Please improve this article if you can (May 2008).

When Stewie presents Brian his "polished turd for the evening" (Meg in a nice dress), Stewie says in the FOX version: "FYI, the carpet matches the drapes, in color and length" before it cuts to the outside shot of the school. On Adult Swim and DVD, Stewie's line was "FYI, the carpet matches the drapes, in color and quantity" and adds "You ever see a blacksmith's apron?" before the scene cuts to the outside of the school.
After the scene of Peter giving Quagmire a cavity search, there is an extra scene shown on Adult Swim and DVD where Peter, Quagmire, Mort and Cleveland are in a room, each drinking from a cup. Joe (on the other side of the room, separated by acrylic glass), explains that the four are part of a test to see if they can identify traces of Phencyclidine in the coffee they're drinking. This causes Peter, Cleveland and Mort to become paranoid over who drank the PCP and accuse each other of freaking out. Quagmire is then revealed to be the intoxicated one when he starts casually ripping his skin off his own arm causing Peter to say "Quagmire put your skin back on! One of us is about to freak out!". According to the commentry, some of this scene was cut, with one of them turning into a "huge green lizard".^[1]
In the scene where Brian tries to bail out of spending the day with Meg, he says he's going to do whatever Chris does on a Thursday afternoon, which is masturbate. Brian's line after Chris says "masturbate" in the Adult Swim and DVD version is "Masturbate. We're going to masturbate together". The FOX version only has one mention of the word "masturbate" and changes Brian's line to "Yeah, that's it. That's what we're going to do together", to edit out the extra mentions of the word.
When Brian drunkenly stands up to Connie D'Amico for making fun of Meg, he states that the reason Connie is so insecure is because she developed early and in the FOX version, "...started putting out when you were 12". On Adult Swim and DVD Brian states that Connie developed early and started "giving handjobs when you were 12."
When Brian tries to explain to Lois why Meg is acting weird around him (and ends up getting punched by Lois), Brian says in the FOX version that Meg made him eat "the hair in her pie" (referring to the pie that Meg put her hair in so Brian will have a piece of her inside him). The Adult Swim and DVD version uses the more vulgar expression "hair pie" (slang for vagina), which implies that Brian had oral sex with Meg. This caused Lois to hit him again, and a third time when he said "No, its not what you think, Stewie had some too."
On the Adult Swim and DVD, when Peter and his buddies catch Meg seducing the captured Brian, Peter tells Brian that what he's doing to Meg is worse than what Mia Farrow did to that Chinaman Woody Allen brought home from the circus (which Lois promises to explain to him all the things that were wrong with that statement). On FOX, the term "Oriental guy" was used instead of the racial slur "Chinaman." This is ironic, since it is not politically correct to refer to people of Asian descent as Oriental, either. This is one of the few times which Peter immediately blames someone else other than Meg, as he usually blames Meg for most situations she is involved in.

[edit] Cultural references

This article or section contains too many minor or trivial fictional references.
Mere trivia, or references unimportant to the overall plot of a work of fiction, should be deleted. See also what Wikipedia is.

The episode contains many references to the Police Academy series of films (starting at the series' theme song, which plays when Peter and co. arrive at the department).
Peter names the giraffe he steals from the zoo Allison Janney, a reference to the actress' height.
A scene in which the townsfolk (after they remove their white disguises and are revealed to be black) sing spoofs the "Everybody Rejoice/A Brand New Day" sequence in the film The Wiz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West's slaves (grotesque, leather-skinned creatures) shed their skin to reveal attractive young black people underneath.
The two songs being played during the dance scene are Hold on to the Nights by Richard Marx and Why by Annie Lennox.
Garrett Morris cameoed as "the headmaster of the New York School for the Hard-of-Hearing", a part that he played while a cast member on Saturday Night Live during Weekend Update (particularly during the first season, when Chevy Chase was Weekend Update anchor). At the end, he says "Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow", which was the closing line during Chevy Chase's tenure on Weekend Update. Then Meg says to Brian as he walks away "I won't be ignored, Brian.", which is particularly a reference to the famous line from the movie Fatal Attraction.
The scene in which Meg, in her underwear, tapes Brian to a chair is a reference to the 1983 film The King of Comedy, starring Robert DeNiro, in which a crazed fan (Sandra Bernhard) similarly tapes comedian Jerry Lewis to a chair, with much the same purpose in mind.
The emphasis on the "H" in some words like "Whip" and "While" in the English dictionary, and how people can easily get words wrong by adding the "H" emphasis to words like "Weird". This is a running gag throughout the episode, and when Meg says "Hweird" Brian exclaims, finishing the gag, "Oh, come on that one didn't even have an H in it!"
When Peter performs the cavity search on Quagmire, one of the items that come out is a Good Burger DVD. Also, the toy car is also a reference to Jackass: The Movie, when Ryan Dunn inserted a toy car into his rectum.