User:Azekavier
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According to recent scientific studies, 43% of America's youth has been diagnosed with Modern Retardation. Modern Retardationism is the most uncommon, but interesting modern belief system that if the other 57% of America's youth is not retarded, then the intelligent percentage can eliminate the retarded population and set ablaze and erase all of their historical records to make the intelligent percentage appear rather arrogant. Modern Retardationism was created in 2007 by a scientist named Peter Dick Wangcock. Peter Dick Wangcock was born into a family with one brother, and his own brother happened to be a retard. In 1983, Peter's brother, "Jimmy Longcocks Wangcock" got into a brutal fight with Peter over a piece of candy. Jimmy and Peter were both 20 during this unfortunate event. Jimmy simply asked Peter for the piece of candy that Peter was about to consume. Peter responded, "No", and so Jimmy pulled out a 9mm gun and attempted to shoot Peter. However, Jimmy, being severely retarded, aimed directly at Peter and forgot to pull the trigger. Instead he said, "BANG!" and expected bullets to be released. Peter then shouted, "Jimmy! Give me the gun!", and so Jimmy gladly handed Peter the gun. Peter then shot Jimmy in the face for being retarded. Consumed by hatred and passion against retards, Peter then created Modern Retardationism. Modern Retardationism is commonly misperceived as Ancient Retardationism by retards globally. According to the internationally challenged athlete's league, more than 21% of the retarded can move double the speed of normal intelligent humans. However, this is only true due to the fact that the 21% of the retarded have engaged in surgery which involves highly trained intellient humans replacing the retarded 21 percent's feet with average car wheels. A common and precise way to determine if one is a retard, the person will most likely greet you in one of these manners, "Deeeeeeeeeeeeee", "HEHEHEHE", "Guh", "AR ARRR!", "BOOM!!!", "Beep", "I HAVE A WEINER HAHAHA".